Debaucher

Ok I think I had a breakthrough today... and I think I am witnessing the changes happening in me as a result of the AA steps...

Today... I called my buddy who I am golfing with tonight to find out when and where... blah blah long story short... it doesn't matter when I arrive because him and few guys he works with will be boozing it up before we meet...

AND as screwed up as that might sound... for the first time... I realized (a bit later) that all that didn't illicit any emotion except... for 1... which was "Cool... they don't mind if I am a bit late... I don't have to rush"..

What I am pumped about is that it didn't foster any resentment... like "OH I wish I could booze it up too" or "doh now I have to be around alcohol and suffer"...

I really could care less... I don't want it and I don't care if you drink it... SHWEET!


OH and another thing...

Wife calls and we are going on a vacation soon but it is backed up to a business trip I have... so I am trying to figure out how to get the grass cut in between... the wife suggested having the neighbor kid cut it... and I got a bit irritated... realized what it was and calmly told my wife that I wasn't sure if I was able to accept if he did it wrong... and that it was a really good idea and I would think about it...

WTF... where did that come from... who said that... jerk me... would have gotten angry and been all mad that they couldn't wait the extra 35 minutes plus 10 minutes to shower and change...

Oh this whole AA steps and spirituality stuff... I don't know about it... it just makes life too easy...

CarolD

Better and better....that is so very true for me too!

barb dwyer

Way to go, Debaucher!

So ... didja win or what?

leviathon

I had an "A Ha" moment myself yesterday. Had two stressful days in two family trials. Judge on one day made a decision that I now know is completely wrong ... I was pretty sure he was wrong in court, but needed to discuss with a medical expert to confirm. (ok, so we appeal). But the really big trigger for me was that the judge just dismissed the one clients evidence in its entirety and preferred the evidence of the other party even though there were GLARING inconsistencies in the evidence of this party (ok, so we appeal)

So then Friday comes along, dealing with same counsel (*very unreasonable fellow, won't consent to anything, brings up all kinds of ancillary NON relevant issues both in court and out of court). Good judge, reasonable outcome for both parties, despite other lawyer making allegations that were not supported by his own client (she openly told court she didn't believe that and had told her lawyer as much)

The important realization I had was that this is the type of week I had where I would normally have wanted to DRINK heavily. This time about I actually had the mental thought, but unlike normal where I think that would be nice and then have to remind myself why I don't drink, instead I had the following immediate thought "Wow, a drink would be nice. No it would not. Don't need it, don't want it." The craving literally immediately went away, just gone. No having to rationalize why I cannot drink, etc., just gone.

Peace,Levi