pjw21

OK - now here's the thing. I have been depressed/anxious & drinking was one of the things that got me through or made me worse not sure which. But the deal is, I love it. I try to stop (in fact I went dry for 2 years). But i always find myself back here. drink, drink , drink. Is it such a bad thing??

paulmh

I don't know, is it such a bad thing?

I can tell you that my drinking was such a bad thing for me. But I can't tell you that your drinking is such a bad thing for you!

If you ever get to the point where you know it's such a bad thing for you, and you try to stop, and you find that you can't - well, then we'll be talking the same language!

Dee74

I second Paul's post...

Today, I *know* it's a bad thing for me...but right up until the moment I accepted that, I would have fought you - ALL of you - to get to a beer...

I didn't even enjoy drinking at the end, and for me, that was soul-destroying...didn't stop me, mind...but when there's no escape left in the escape, you know you need help.

I found it, here.

D

pjw21

so - i limit myself to buying a 6 pack at a time, tho i generally drink all 6 the night i buy them... i'm trying to manage it rather than quit... but i never stick to the rules i set.

the only negatives are: my wife avoids me when i am drunk coz she doesn't like talking to me
i don't sleep well
i guilt myself over having been drunk the night before, or drinking the whole 6 when i had said to myself, drink 2
i am trying to be super fit to do a 530k ride in Sep. I don't want to, & won't let drinking affect my ability to do that.

i guess my problem is my absolute enjoyment of drinking, and then the guilt i feel afterwards...anyone else been here??

BTW - I am on my 5th beer now....

Budfrog

4 me drinking is also fun, in a social environment. I enjoy a few glasses of wine/beer with family and friends and it is the ideal way to unwind at the end of a stressful week at work. It also adds to my enjoyment of holidays, nothing better than a good meal and a couple of glasses of red.

These reasons are why I am practicing moderation management. So long as I control the drink and it doesn't control me I'm sure things will be fine. Things are never black and white ... alcohol affects every person in a different manner and I am a strong believer that with a modicum of willpower people can change their consumption habits for the better if needs be.

Just my opinion for what it's worth.

Doug

It's not a bad thing for everybody, only for alcoholics. Drinking for me used to be fun, but there came a point when it wasn't anymore. Once it became a way of life, the priority of life, the fun was long gone.

Not everybody is an alcoholic though, so no, it's not a bad thing. You'll know if and when it becomes a problem.

Steve58

Hi Pj,

I know where you are, I'm still a "tweener" too. All I can say is keep reading here, You can also read the "Big Book" as the AA'ers call it (even if you have no interest in AA, read it, specially the life stories) online. It seems alcohol is a very patient master, it takes it's time til it has you right where it wants you.

Only you can decide if alcohol is a prob for you. Soon lots of people will be along to give you tons of "measuring devices" to help you decide. Read them, and be honest with yourself.

But keep posting, reading and asking questions. We're all still learning everyday!

Steve

paulmh

Hi Budfrog - now, y'see, this is the bit that's contentious -

Maybe you could just stick to being a strong believer that a modicum of willpower can change your consumption habits for the better. Doesn't matter how much willpower you expend on it, you ain't gonna change my consumption habits!

- that said, always glad to hear people finding the solution that fits for themselves!

parentrecovers

bad thing for my daughter, very bad.

nice to meet you, keep posting! k

BWMD

For me, drinking was fun.

Waking up feeling like I had been hit by a train was not.

Waking up wondering what I said the night before was not.

Waking up knowing that I was failing my children was not.

The results of my drinking were not fun, so I know that I cannot drink.

barb dwyer

sucked for me, too

findingout

drinking was so much fun, I wanted to do it 24/7
until I had to do it 24/7 and then it wasn't fun

drinking was so much fun, it was all the fun I wanted
until I had no fun at all

Tazman53

pjw I can not tell you that you do or don't have a problem with drinking, that is for you to figure out, I will share the following with you.

My name is Martin and I am an alcoholic. When I first started drinking it was great!!! My God, everything that I had fears about or was nervous about dissappeared! I was the man! It was a feeling of immediately fitting in, belonging!

I had no idea then that I was an alcoholic, I now know that alcoholism is a progressive disease, in my case the progression was slow..... or so I thought!

Part of alcoholism is developing a tolerance to alcohol, in very simple terms I could drink every non-alcoholic out there under the table with ease and every one including myself thought I was the man!!!! In reality it took more and more booze as time went by for me to get the "FEELING".

Eventually I reached the point where I could not get that "FEELING", oh I might have it for a few minutes and then the next thing I knew I was drunk! My drinking started causing all kinds of problems in my life.

I started trying what every good alcoholic I know does, controling my drinking, I have found out that normal people do not control thier drinking or even think about controling thier drinking..... Why? They can take it or leave it.

I tried to quit and it turned out I had crossed that invisible line in alcoholism where quitting is no longer a matter of choice, I had crossed into the stage of alcoholism where I had to drink.

Alcoholism is a progressive disease, it never gets better, the progression of the disease can only be hatled by total abstenance, it progresses with every drink. I an alcoholic quits drinking for 10 years and starts again the disease will pick right back up where it left off.

FlySober

PJW, as Steve said, alcohol is very patient. Your here looking for something. Sounds like alcohol has atleast a partial grip on you if you tell yourself your going to have 2 and drink all six. Get a 12 pack, tell yourself your going to drink 2 and see how many you actually drink. If I were a betting man, I would bet the 12 pack would be gone before your head hits the pillow. Not trying to be judgemental. Just basing it on my own experience and others. I know the feeling of having the wife not wanting to be around me when I'm drinking. Alcohol had become an unyielding wedge driving me and my wife and kids apart. Alcohol is like water on a stone. The water always wins and wears the stone down.

Is there any other problems you've experience as a result of drinking? Do they reoccur from time to time? Do you try to modify your drinking habits to get different, less troblesome results?

Keep reading and being honest with yourself.

Best of luck.

Brett Ashley

Yes, I've been there. I tried to control my drinking, sticking to only two drinks, etc. In my case, though, the times that I was able to actually quit after two drinks were not fun at all. I had to use all my self-persuasion to not drink more (and could only do it if I were with someone, never alone), eventually it was more like torture than fun to only have a few drinks. A part of me had such an irresistable craving for more, and the part of me that was saying no was weakened by the two drinks I had already had. The two drink-limit just cost too much effort to be worth it.

I find it easier to just not drink at all (although it is not easy, no it is not, but at least I am making the decision completely sober, which helps a little bit)

Good luck to you, though. :-)

CarolD

Welcome to SR!

My fun bottles were long gone when I tried to quit..
and I was astounded to fine I could not simply stop.

I never knew what day or which drink slid me into addiction.

Here is a link to the book that explained to me
WHY....

http://www.soberrecovery.com/forums/...influence.html

Glad you are here with us...

GrouchoTheCat

I am in the process of reading "Beyond the Influence".

Besides AA's "Alcoholics Anonynous" it is hands down the best book I have ever read about alcoholism.

I too absolutely loved booze for many years. It worked! It gave me energy. It let me stay out and party till the bars closed. It made me feel warm and fuzzy and peaceful.

Eventually I couldn't stop drinking. The booze had me. I became miserable.

From what you describe, you may have a genetic predisposition to alcoholism.

If you are pre-disposed and you stop now, before the trouble really starts, you can stay free of boozes' powerful grip.

Read "Beyond the Influence" and see what you think.

Carol has posted a link in the above message, much of the book is there.

I wish you the best,

Ted

NYCGirl

I needed that, I am so trying with trying to go back to the one or two, but I remember even early on saying why would any one have just one or two.... I really see myself in your words...

Drinking was fun for me too, but then it would gat out of control and I would loose all sense of logic

sunkensky

I never understood that either, even when I was very young. Why would anyone have just one or two drinks? What is the point of that?

I was always a firm believer that everyone drank to get drunk, and if they said they weren't they were kidding themselves. I always honestly believed that, but some people can do with just one. Just a minor stress reliever or something. For me that seems so ridiculous.

Raineydae

That was definitely my experience too. Once I started drinking, I had to keep going or I saw no point in starting. To stop after a few drinks was a real wrench for me and made me agitated and irritable.