JEI2950

Good to hear from you ,Lost glad that you are even trying to contact the Doctors , hopefully , you will follow through on the next call , sorry to hear about your stomach aches , will pray that this too will pass , and that it isn't something serious , hope you feel better in time , Love JEI

Pilgrim

Hi Lost. Don't think and don't try. You don't have to do that anymore. Remember? Put the doctor thing as number one please.

thiskidknows

I tried to call again, but the phone was engaged its a sign that its not meant to be I will keep trying I will.. i'm struggling not to go out and get some drink. I also need more tramadol, i'm trying not to but my stomach is hurting, my head hurts, and I feel really depressed and alone. its so quiet and all i keep doing is thinking, I don't want to think cause it hurts.

parentrecovers

morning, lost. k

JEI2950

i'm so sorry lost , you aren't alone though , I have the post alert on my email , so I will know when you have posted , the phone call is very important and please don't let your feelings or failed attempts to stop you from getting medical assistance , I know the pain must be really bad, but please don't drink , trust me it will only make things worst , believe me I KNOW !!! , Are you tired enough of being deppressed to make an attempt at trying to remedy the situation ? Suggestions given to me were to : change environment , listen to your favorite cd's , PRAYER !!, and just recently I was so tired of feeling the way I did , that I sought help wherever I could ,out here in Philly we are blessed to have toll free guidance and counselors to provide possible help , Is there something like that in the UK , forgive MY stupidity , I just don't know . Right now I am washing clothes by hand although I have a washing machine , (just the whites ) because I need to stay active until my 12:00 meeting , it's productive and it takes my mind off of things that will probably lower my spirit , cleaning the house , helps me also , it's as if I am cleaning my environment to clean my thoughts , I cant think when there is clutter around ,and I am an obsesive compulsive to boot , I hope that someone can offer other solutions that may aide you mine kinda sux , but it works for me , try to stay strong , and please don't drink . hit us back , JEI

thiskidknows

I'm tierd of being depressed, being stuck in this circle not being able to think for myself, not being able to thin straight..I'm tierd of fighting and losing.

I've been cleaning to take my mind of things..the flat smells of bleach I am a clean freak anyway, I hate dirt and scrub everything, but now i'm doing everything with bleach a clean smell.

I think we have free guidance for drinking, but not counsellors from what I know..

Need to get back to cleaning, urge for drink and tabs is getting worse. sorry

JEI2950

I'm sorry to hear that , Mabey I may not be the best person to suggest anything , I just wish that I could do more than just post and reply , if it's not too cold out there , open a window , bleach starts to stink after awhile , and I'm sure breathing it in isn't too healthy either. I'm going back to cleaning as well , just keep posting and we will keep replying , Oh , try your best not to drink or pop (here it comes again ) JUST FOR TODAY . sorry . JEI

thiskidknows

Sorry JE1 I didn't mean to be rude, sorry if I came across like that. Its not too cold here, quite mild for April, I've opened the windows maybe breathing it in not to good. Hope the cleaning regime is going well. I've just cleaned a cupboard out and found a bottle of tia maria orange not sure how I'd missed that, its too tempting to drink it. I'm leaving it back in the cupboard but now I know its there. I've got a friend texting me asking if I fancy a joint and a pint.. I want to go but told her i'm busy she said she'll come round in a bit if I want. so weak and pathetic I'm too easy lead. pathetic

JEI2950

No, you didn't say anything wrong , I just thought that I may not be giving the best advice , honestly I just want to help . Don't touch that TMO , if fact if I think (in my humble opinion ) that you should probably pour it out , the only reason to keep it is to drink it , again take it from someone who knows , and express your desire to stop drinking ect, to your friend and if she is really a friend she may not make offers like that anymore, respecting you and your wishes , help can come from strange places , I'm now helping the wife get ready for work (she's very unorganized ) and will post again shortly , still here , still care , JEI

TouchTheMirror

Lost, hi. We've not met until now. My name is Tim.

I don't have much to add other than to pitch some support your way. We are real people and we really do care about you.

thiskidknows

I know you want to help and I appreciate you being there. I didn't pour it down the sink, this is the time that is now dangerous for me and I want and drink and I feel physically sick I had some toast to eat about an hour ago and now I want a drink, I can taste it, pathetic I know, I can smell it, I can taste it..I didn't manage to call the doctors I will try again tomorrow I promise. Sorry.

Hi Tim, nice to meet you. good to hear ur real people and that u care.

thiskidknows

Failure..failed..freaking Failure. Let U Down, I Let U Down. Sorry. Take Care. Sorry

JEI2950

You didn't let anyone down , You are talking to people who have done that and worst , and your apologies aren't neccesary , we all understand , you will eventually find the tools that you need to get through anything life throws at us , Remember the last Batman movie , after Bruce got his a** kicked , and Alfred asked him " Why do we fall ? and Bruce answered " So that we can learn to pick ourselves up " . ( sorry to quote the mind opening inspirations of Alfred the Butler , but it's what I got . ) Don't let this take you futher down a road , that is already difficult to return from , Stay strong , and again pray ,even if you won't , we will . love ya . JEI.

Missymae737

Lost Child,

You let yourself down deeper into the shuffle of addiction. How much more pain can you take???

It is very painful for me to feel your sense of hopelessness. You remind me of a sister I have who is knocking on deaths door due to her refusal to help herself...Talk about a tough life?? She was given Phenobarbital at birth for alcohol withdrawal...Our mother died when she was six years old. She never recovered from this and is now living on the streets in Maine. She is addicted to drugs and alcohol. She has been admitted to the hospital numerous times. HER doctors told me that her KIND usually end up dead...

Reach inside you and fight, will you??

I wasn't going to respond to you anymore, to painful but I can't help but think that there is hope for you...

Thinking of you...

thiskidknows

Sorry Missymae to hear about ur sister, u have a right to be angry at me and i'm sorry I upset u. I am fighting, and I will be contacting the doctor after my counselling session, I don't want to end up dead which is why I'm in counselling, which is why I came to the boards...ok so I can't control my drinking anymore, it controls me..I admit i've lost control with drink. sorry this hurts. xx

I'm really sorry Missymae.

Anna

Why don't you contact your dr now Lost Child?

thiskidknows

they closed at 18:00, and stop taking appointmetnts at 16:00....I should have done it earlier, I should have gone over there rather then going to the shops. I never think properly, I always wait too long until the danger zone

hope3

This is part of the feelings we experience while

the poison, thats right poison is leaving our body.

It's ok not to feel anything....

It's ok to feel weak.......

It's ok to feel like you can't do it...

But you have to reach down deep, and say

screw you alcohol, you are not in control, I am...

I am going to get through this...

You can, and you my dear lost are worth it...

Hang tough, you will gain a lot of strength if you stick to your guns..

Love you, hope3

Pilgrim

Lost - When I found a way out it was when I admitted that I was not at all in control. You have admitted that you can't stop on your own and you told me that you were willing to take instructions. I asked you to ring the doctor and be honest about what is happening. Print this thread out and let him/her read it. Your problems are like mine and I fear that you will smile at the doc and fake that all is well. You will not achieve sobriety that way.

Ring the doctor tomorrow if you want to help yourself. No more excuses. No matter what. Tell them it is urgent. There is a way out.

TouchTheMirror

Lost, just checking in on your thread to say that I'm thinking of you. Don't forget to eat. Pizza maybe?