Mental Obsession versus Physical Addiction
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Join Date: Dec 2005
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Mental Obsession versus Physical Addiction
I wonder if there is truly a difference between being physically addicted to alcohol (can't/don't stop once started and withdrawals when quitting) and suffering from a mental obsession with alcohol. I don't fit those 2 criteria for alcoholism, but I certainly obsess about drinking and recovery.
I significantly reduced my drinking last year but went to AA and quit because i couldn't stop thinking about it. I went 6 months and worked the steps with a sponsor (got to step 8) and then quit because I felt that my mental obsession was lifted. I also felt that I was becoming obsessed with AA and leaning on it like a drug of sorts and it actually felt good to be free of that. Since January I've had drinks on a few occasions such as vacations and dinners with friends, but always stayed within "normal" limits. Lately though it's all I think about. I'm becoming obsessed with thoughts of drinking and even obsessed with thoughts of calling my sponsor (I even dreamed I called and she told me she couldn't work with someone like me).
This post is getting longer than I wished because I wanted to keep it simple, but thought it would be useful to know where I was coming from. It seems that people who drank tons and were obviously affected physically have an easier time recovering by just getting the alcohol out of their system.
How about those people who have a mental obsession? Once they quit drinking they still obsess about alcohol because it's always front and center in almost every place you go - restaurants, groceries, movies...
Anyway, I'd appreciate any thoughts on the subject.
I significantly reduced my drinking last year but went to AA and quit because i couldn't stop thinking about it. I went 6 months and worked the steps with a sponsor (got to step 8) and then quit because I felt that my mental obsession was lifted. I also felt that I was becoming obsessed with AA and leaning on it like a drug of sorts and it actually felt good to be free of that. Since January I've had drinks on a few occasions such as vacations and dinners with friends, but always stayed within "normal" limits. Lately though it's all I think about. I'm becoming obsessed with thoughts of drinking and even obsessed with thoughts of calling my sponsor (I even dreamed I called and she told me she couldn't work with someone like me).
This post is getting longer than I wished because I wanted to keep it simple, but thought it would be useful to know where I was coming from. It seems that people who drank tons and were obviously affected physically have an easier time recovering by just getting the alcohol out of their system.
How about those people who have a mental obsession? Once they quit drinking they still obsess about alcohol because it's always front and center in almost every place you go - restaurants, groceries, movies...
Anyway, I'd appreciate any thoughts on the subject.
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Hi C'est.
You know the answer honey bun. No one can tell you if you are an alcoholic that needs to stay sober. You have to work that one out for yourself.
I tested. I fell hard and fast. Harder and faster than before. Powerless as a kitten me.
One thing a friend advised me to do was to keep going to meetings to find out if you are an alcoholic or not - even if you are not sure.
Your posts and experiences have helped me so I don't care either way. I love you just the way you are. It would be so nice if you could live life happily and still be able to have the odd drink. I would be so happy for you in that case.
You know the answer honey bun. No one can tell you if you are an alcoholic that needs to stay sober. You have to work that one out for yourself.
I tested. I fell hard and fast. Harder and faster than before. Powerless as a kitten me.
One thing a friend advised me to do was to keep going to meetings to find out if you are an alcoholic or not - even if you are not sure.
Your posts and experiences have helped me so I don't care either way. I love you just the way you are. It would be so nice if you could live life happily and still be able to have the odd drink. I would be so happy for you in that case.
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Join Date: Feb 2006
Location: Newark,DE
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Hi C'est,
Nice to hear from you, I wish I could be more help, but I struggle with this question a lot. I have written here (and gotten blasted for it) that I believe that even though alcohol causes physical changes in our bodies over time, that I believe most of it is in the mind. We feel good when we drink, so we drink to feel good, and some of us have had many years of conditioning our brains this way. You know, we only use about 15%, or something small like that for concious thought, most of the time we are guided by the subconcious, habits, conditioning, so on. Your brain is simply seeking the thing that made it feel good for so long.
I'm like you, can go weeks or months, glass of wine or two, here and there. And I'm fine with that. Then sometimes I'll go through a phase where I drink to excess, maybe several nites in a row, then back to normal.
I agree with you about AA, or other programs, it seems they repalce one dependency for another, surely much better for you physically and mentally, but it still amounts to feeding your brain some "feel good" stuff.
I found total abstainence to be difficult, to condition myself to "never drink again", just to heavy. For me, it usually works better knowing I can, but choosing not to. Like I have a fav dish I make with wine, and a glass or two while I'm making it, once a week or so, I enjoy, and that doesnt affect my program at all, but it would drive me crazy to handle the wine, but feel I could not have a drop. (I remember you liked to cook with wine, too)
I know from everything I've learned here that this condition affects us all differently. For some, one drink and it's off to the races, to the extent of using NA mouthwash. But I think for many of us, there is more than one path. I have meet many people in life that "dont drink like they used to", people that drank like fish in their younger years, but now will have a beer or two and be done with it.
Just some of my thoughts on the matter. I hope it helps.
Love,
Steve
Nice to hear from you, I wish I could be more help, but I struggle with this question a lot. I have written here (and gotten blasted for it) that I believe that even though alcohol causes physical changes in our bodies over time, that I believe most of it is in the mind. We feel good when we drink, so we drink to feel good, and some of us have had many years of conditioning our brains this way. You know, we only use about 15%, or something small like that for concious thought, most of the time we are guided by the subconcious, habits, conditioning, so on. Your brain is simply seeking the thing that made it feel good for so long.
I'm like you, can go weeks or months, glass of wine or two, here and there. And I'm fine with that. Then sometimes I'll go through a phase where I drink to excess, maybe several nites in a row, then back to normal.
I agree with you about AA, or other programs, it seems they repalce one dependency for another, surely much better for you physically and mentally, but it still amounts to feeding your brain some "feel good" stuff.
I found total abstainence to be difficult, to condition myself to "never drink again", just to heavy. For me, it usually works better knowing I can, but choosing not to. Like I have a fav dish I make with wine, and a glass or two while I'm making it, once a week or so, I enjoy, and that doesnt affect my program at all, but it would drive me crazy to handle the wine, but feel I could not have a drop. (I remember you liked to cook with wine, too)
I know from everything I've learned here that this condition affects us all differently. For some, one drink and it's off to the races, to the extent of using NA mouthwash. But I think for many of us, there is more than one path. I have meet many people in life that "dont drink like they used to", people that drank like fish in their younger years, but now will have a beer or two and be done with it.
Just some of my thoughts on the matter. I hope it helps.
Love,
Steve
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hey steve, good to see you popping in from time to time. I don't know if I'm just looking for someone to tell me what i want to hear, but you came close to nailing it. I want to believe that I'm not doomed for the rest of my life to being crazed. I certainly don't (yet!) believe that I'm even close to relapsing on mouthwash or vanilla extract. I just don't think I have the physical dependence issues. I wonder whether or not my mind would calm down if I would stop reading and posting here even, but on the other hand I think it keeps me honestly looking at myself.
I'm not trying to decide if I'm alcoholic. That seems too slippery of a definition. I think I'm trying to find out if others dealt with the mental obsession and how they made it stop or how they deal with it on a daily basis.
btw, steve, do you think about alcohol a lot? more than "normal"?
I'm not trying to decide if I'm alcoholic. That seems too slippery of a definition. I think I'm trying to find out if others dealt with the mental obsession and how they made it stop or how they deal with it on a daily basis.
btw, steve, do you think about alcohol a lot? more than "normal"?
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C`est and Steve, even in 1939 when the BB was written it was known that alcoholism is a 3 part disease, their is the physical addiction part, the mental obsession part, & the spiritual malady part.
Some alcoholics see thier problem before they reach that physical addicition phase, but they still have the mental obsession and the spiritual malady thing going on.
The physical part in recovery is the first to go, the shakes, tremors, heart palpations & worst of all that physical craving for a drink, the mental obsession is the one that unless the spiritual portion is dealt with will get us drinking again.
In other words if we work on fixing/changing our spiritual side for the better the mental obsession will lessen and with time and work dissappear into nothing but an occasional fleeting thought, this will aide us in not picking up a drink again and starting the whole vicous cycle anew.
Not only does the BB of AA have this covered, if you check out the books "Under the Influence" & "Beyond the Influence" you will find that the scientific community has found the same thing.
How about choclate ANYTHING!!!!!
Some alcoholics see thier problem before they reach that physical addicition phase, but they still have the mental obsession and the spiritual malady thing going on.
The physical part in recovery is the first to go, the shakes, tremors, heart palpations & worst of all that physical craving for a drink, the mental obsession is the one that unless the spiritual portion is dealt with will get us drinking again.
In other words if we work on fixing/changing our spiritual side for the better the mental obsession will lessen and with time and work dissappear into nothing but an occasional fleeting thought, this will aide us in not picking up a drink again and starting the whole vicous cycle anew.
Not only does the BB of AA have this covered, if you check out the books "Under the Influence" & "Beyond the Influence" you will find that the scientific community has found the same thing.
How about choclate ANYTHING!!!!!
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Hi C'est,
I did, at least at some point, have physical dependence on alcohol, though I'm not sure when that started.
I definitely had the mental obsession and for me, that was by far the most powerful part of it. I would think constantly about when I could next drink, what I would drink and how much. I began to plan my day, my life around it. I hated it, just hated that feeling. For me, the mental obsession lifted when I knew that I wasn't going to drink anymore. I felt empowered and I finally had my mind free to think about other things.
So, my mental obsession has been lifted, thankfully, but I know, that if I was to drink, or even think that I might have a drink on the weekend, the obsession would take over again immediately. That's how my mind works. For me, the only way to keep the obsession at bay is to not drink. And, yes alcohol is everywhere, but for some reason that doesn't really bother me anymore. We were recently on a Cruise ship and alcohol was, literally everywhere. But, when I know that I am not drinking, I don't think about it.
I did, at least at some point, have physical dependence on alcohol, though I'm not sure when that started.
I definitely had the mental obsession and for me, that was by far the most powerful part of it. I would think constantly about when I could next drink, what I would drink and how much. I began to plan my day, my life around it. I hated it, just hated that feeling. For me, the mental obsession lifted when I knew that I wasn't going to drink anymore. I felt empowered and I finally had my mind free to think about other things.
So, my mental obsession has been lifted, thankfully, but I know, that if I was to drink, or even think that I might have a drink on the weekend, the obsession would take over again immediately. That's how my mind works. For me, the only way to keep the obsession at bay is to not drink. And, yes alcohol is everywhere, but for some reason that doesn't really bother me anymore. We were recently on a Cruise ship and alcohol was, literally everywhere. But, when I know that I am not drinking, I don't think about it.
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C'est and Steve,
This is an interesting thread...
When my drinking career began, I obsessed about my next drink, the parties, the fun...At that time i was in major denial that I could have such a problem with addiction...After all, I was a happy drunk, and not a lot of trouble surfaced from my drinking.
Somehow I CROSSED the boundaries of a happy go lucky drunk, to a miserable, angry, depressed drunk who lost all control of her life...It was then that I couldn't be in denial anymore...I had to face the hard truth about my addictions.
The obsession turned to physical dependence not long after I started drinking.
This is an interesting thread...
When my drinking career began, I obsessed about my next drink, the parties, the fun...At that time i was in major denial that I could have such a problem with addiction...After all, I was a happy drunk, and not a lot of trouble surfaced from my drinking.
Somehow I CROSSED the boundaries of a happy go lucky drunk, to a miserable, angry, depressed drunk who lost all control of her life...It was then that I couldn't be in denial anymore...I had to face the hard truth about my addictions.
The obsession turned to physical dependence not long after I started drinking.
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Join Date: Mar 2007
Location: chicago, IL
Posts: 93
For me the mental addiction was always greater than the physical one. I could stop for a month or two with little to no physical symptoms but it would always hang in the back of my mind as long as I knew there could be another drink coming. Now I know I can no longer drink and the mental part is much better for some reason.
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Join Date: Mar 2006
Location: anomaly
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It's also why a lot of alcoholic are very successful or hold a higher
possition in careers..
Motivations ? ...not for me...I was just obsessed over my work.lol
My mo...why do something...if you're not going to do it right.
That in itself saved my ass when I got into recovery.
Any projects at work I got involed with. I saw it through and then some.
It can be a double edge sword. My boss didn't mind, but my family suffered.
It's intergrated...I'm also a recoverying perfectionist.
Details...details..details. I leave mis-spelled words on purpose sometimes.lol
I use to foam at the mouth if my files weren't orginized in a certain fashion.
It drove my secutary crazy. In electronics, you simply needed to
be aware of details. Millions of dollars at stake.
At home...It basically drove my gf crazy...She threaten to leave me
many times becase of it. Yes...all of my CDs were orginized and stacked
a certain way.lol
Make sense why I go to the codi section ?....I became obsessed into trying
to make a relationship work or see it through.
The traits of being an alki/codi/acoa...it's all intergrated and overlape
in my case. I don't belive everybody has the same degree of
obsessive or complusive behaviors as I do. Some has less, some has more.
The 12steps..baclance...yikes !!....There are salutions.lol
Apply the 12steps in all our affairs..make sense ?
My obsession to using alcohol and drugs was releaved in my first year
of recovery...but that didn't sovled all of my problems.
make sense, why a person like me has to step out of the mind, and
keep it very simple ? I need a HP or whatever you call it, so i can
just be still or sit still, while my mind is spining a hundred miles and
hour in an obsession so it can spin itself out or came to a rest and
I don't re-act.
Meditations has help me greatly. It's more about letting my mind
spining itself out than being holier than thou..lol
possition in careers..
Motivations ? ...not for me...I was just obsessed over my work.lol
My mo...why do something...if you're not going to do it right.
That in itself saved my ass when I got into recovery.
Any projects at work I got involed with. I saw it through and then some.
It can be a double edge sword. My boss didn't mind, but my family suffered.
It's intergrated...I'm also a recoverying perfectionist.
Details...details..details. I leave mis-spelled words on purpose sometimes.lol
I use to foam at the mouth if my files weren't orginized in a certain fashion.
It drove my secutary crazy. In electronics, you simply needed to
be aware of details. Millions of dollars at stake.
At home...It basically drove my gf crazy...She threaten to leave me
many times becase of it. Yes...all of my CDs were orginized and stacked
a certain way.lol
Make sense why I go to the codi section ?....I became obsessed into trying
to make a relationship work or see it through.
The traits of being an alki/codi/acoa...it's all intergrated and overlape
in my case. I don't belive everybody has the same degree of
obsessive or complusive behaviors as I do. Some has less, some has more.
The 12steps..baclance...yikes !!....There are salutions.lol
Apply the 12steps in all our affairs..make sense ?
My obsession to using alcohol and drugs was releaved in my first year
of recovery...but that didn't sovled all of my problems.
make sense, why a person like me has to step out of the mind, and
keep it very simple ? I need a HP or whatever you call it, so i can
just be still or sit still, while my mind is spining a hundred miles and
hour in an obsession so it can spin itself out or came to a rest and
I don't re-act.
Meditations has help me greatly. It's more about letting my mind
spining itself out than being holier than thou..lol
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Do you think about rice or chocolate mousse more than normal?
Somehow I CROSSED the boundaries of a happy go lucky drunk, to a miserable, angry, depressed drunk
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Join Date: Sep 2005
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I think we can all agree that these 3 things are bad:
-Mental Obsession
-Physicial Addiction
-Spiritual Malady
I suffered from all three before I quit drinking and started AA. If I knew someone who suffered from any or all of these 3 things, I'd suggest trying abstainence. Is having wine with dinner so important that one would need to put up with any/all of these 3 awful conditons? Just a thought...
In my life, at this time, I am dependent on AA. I could choose to feel funny about this. It's interesting that I need to go to 5-6 meetings a week. I see it as a positive thing because it keeps me from doing negative things. I am an obsessive person. I can choose my obsessions, and practice positive obsessions (ie recovery).
I guess I see AA as a healthy obsession. I am no longer obsessed with drinking, but I am obsessed with recovery. Isn't it better to be obsessed with recovery? Can we not have healthy obsessions that help us with our lives? Why would I feel bad about being dependent on a program that saves lives?
Overall, drinking has been a negative thing in my life. Recovery is a postive thing in my life. Every horrible thing I've done in my adult life has involved drinking. Why wouldn't I choose to abstain and become obsessed with a program of recovery? A strong focus on recovery keeps me from causing turmoil and grief in other people's lives.
Again, these are just my thoughts about my life.
peace,
chip
-Mental Obsession
-Physicial Addiction
-Spiritual Malady
I suffered from all three before I quit drinking and started AA. If I knew someone who suffered from any or all of these 3 things, I'd suggest trying abstainence. Is having wine with dinner so important that one would need to put up with any/all of these 3 awful conditons? Just a thought...
In my life, at this time, I am dependent on AA. I could choose to feel funny about this. It's interesting that I need to go to 5-6 meetings a week. I see it as a positive thing because it keeps me from doing negative things. I am an obsessive person. I can choose my obsessions, and practice positive obsessions (ie recovery).
I guess I see AA as a healthy obsession. I am no longer obsessed with drinking, but I am obsessed with recovery. Isn't it better to be obsessed with recovery? Can we not have healthy obsessions that help us with our lives? Why would I feel bad about being dependent on a program that saves lives?
Overall, drinking has been a negative thing in my life. Recovery is a postive thing in my life. Every horrible thing I've done in my adult life has involved drinking. Why wouldn't I choose to abstain and become obsessed with a program of recovery? A strong focus on recovery keeps me from causing turmoil and grief in other people's lives.
Again, these are just my thoughts about my life.
peace,
chip
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Join Date: Feb 2006
Location: Newark,DE
Posts: 404
Hi C'est,
Yes, I think about it more than many people I suppose. I think it's the mental connection to "feeling good" Kinda like when I come off Holiday, for the first few days, I just want to go back to the fun times in the fun places, but after a while, the thoughts diminish.
Something nice about SR, is there are so many different views, experiences and opinions to draw from, I think we each just have to find our own way. Thats about where I am right now. I keep trying different things, and learning more each day. There is certainly no "one size fits all" recovery program. Thats one reason I feel AA is not for me (Sorry Taz & all, I have the utmost respect for AA, and I know from SR the number of success stories) But I think I have to come to terms with this thing in my own way. And I'm not to proud to say that I could very well end up there, but not today.
Anyway, the weather is finally warm, and I am looking forward to getting my exercise program on track, and alcohol has no use when I'm trying to get fit. So, for now, plan is to keep it to a minimum, if at all. At least I can channel my "OC" personallity it other directions sometimes, thankfully!
Take Care,
S
Yes, I think about it more than many people I suppose. I think it's the mental connection to "feeling good" Kinda like when I come off Holiday, for the first few days, I just want to go back to the fun times in the fun places, but after a while, the thoughts diminish.
Something nice about SR, is there are so many different views, experiences and opinions to draw from, I think we each just have to find our own way. Thats about where I am right now. I keep trying different things, and learning more each day. There is certainly no "one size fits all" recovery program. Thats one reason I feel AA is not for me (Sorry Taz & all, I have the utmost respect for AA, and I know from SR the number of success stories) But I think I have to come to terms with this thing in my own way. And I'm not to proud to say that I could very well end up there, but not today.
Anyway, the weather is finally warm, and I am looking forward to getting my exercise program on track, and alcohol has no use when I'm trying to get fit. So, for now, plan is to keep it to a minimum, if at all. At least I can channel my "OC" personallity it other directions sometimes, thankfully!
Take Care,
S
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Join Date: Mar 2006
Location: anomaly
Posts: 2,180
When I work step #3.
A HP...anything that's not me...basically anything that's not in my head.
Be it a happy ball, a god can, or a doorknob.
It also ment that I had to stop wondering and worrying about whatever
probelms I have or had...obsession.
Holi schmoly....let go, let go..and not think about it anymore.
No rent in my head...becuase that gets into a metal obession
if I let someone pay rent in my head. Then it turns into a resentment
and off I go when I start reacting.
Why do my sponsor tell me to pray for the other person or forgive...so
I'll stop obsessing.lol
A HP...anything that's not me...basically anything that's not in my head.
Be it a happy ball, a god can, or a doorknob.
It also ment that I had to stop wondering and worrying about whatever
probelms I have or had...obsession.
Holi schmoly....let go, let go..and not think about it anymore.
No rent in my head...becuase that gets into a metal obession
if I let someone pay rent in my head. Then it turns into a resentment
and off I go when I start reacting.
Why do my sponsor tell me to pray for the other person or forgive...so
I'll stop obsessing.lol
Member
Join Date: Nov 2006
Location: Florham Park, NJ
Posts: 174
I believe that that alcohol addiction IS THE MIND which eventually effects the body. (whatever you choose to obey becomes your master)...The depth and length to which it effects the body is determined by how long and how much you drink. It is common sense the more your body becomes used to the alchohol you will evenutally go through withdrawals. In fact, withdrawals are not always the "taboo" shakes, detox phenomunum (spelling) most hear about. I never went through that but have forms of withdrawals even more baffling. Similar to people withdrawing from anti depressents. Weeks/months after being sober you can experience panic attacks (you may think it is unrelated), confused thinking, forgetfulness, insecurity, fear, instability emotionally and spiritually. These are all part of withdrawing from any drug and you, my friend, are not immune. Pending on how long you have been drinking you may not notice it. and/or it may not have effected you..."yet".
The mental obsession is NOT separate. It is the core. That is the bondage. That is (for me) the true hell of realizing you are powerless or alchohol or anthing else you are obsessed with. Your time is obsessed with whether or not you drink and how much and what to drink. You obsess how people SEE you as drinking or NOT drinking.
I can say (for me), that was my worst and most fatal obstacle. NOt the physical. Put them together though and you have addiction in its purest degree.
Now, for me, at 4+ months sober..the obsession has lifted. BUT that is in no way a ticket for me to drink again, it is by the grace of God a gift to remind me what not to go back too.
You need to be careful as you will learn in time, that it is much harder to stay sober than to not drink. Each time you test the boundaries the return is much harder and vast (IN YOUR MIND). But you can do it, you first need steps 1-3 to be revisited and much more believed in. Forget about 4-8..you need to own 1-3. Your are powerless (no going back)..don't mess with that brain.. (remember the commercial with the egg...)? There is a power greater than yourself...(God)..Give it to Him.
The addiction to meetings was you trying to stay in control. No meeting or step (IMO) should take the place of God. No wonder you felt exhausted. The only one that comes between you and that drink is God..so there is no excuse to drink over too many or not enough meetings (or steps). If you feel burdened by meetings then you are putting them in a place where they shouldnt be. Those tools are good and to help..but they are not the source. God is the source. May you find Him now...
The mental obsession is NOT separate. It is the core. That is the bondage. That is (for me) the true hell of realizing you are powerless or alchohol or anthing else you are obsessed with. Your time is obsessed with whether or not you drink and how much and what to drink. You obsess how people SEE you as drinking or NOT drinking.
I can say (for me), that was my worst and most fatal obstacle. NOt the physical. Put them together though and you have addiction in its purest degree.
Now, for me, at 4+ months sober..the obsession has lifted. BUT that is in no way a ticket for me to drink again, it is by the grace of God a gift to remind me what not to go back too.
You need to be careful as you will learn in time, that it is much harder to stay sober than to not drink. Each time you test the boundaries the return is much harder and vast (IN YOUR MIND). But you can do it, you first need steps 1-3 to be revisited and much more believed in. Forget about 4-8..you need to own 1-3. Your are powerless (no going back)..don't mess with that brain.. (remember the commercial with the egg...)? There is a power greater than yourself...(God)..Give it to Him.
The addiction to meetings was you trying to stay in control. No meeting or step (IMO) should take the place of God. No wonder you felt exhausted. The only one that comes between you and that drink is God..so there is no excuse to drink over too many or not enough meetings (or steps). If you feel burdened by meetings then you are putting them in a place where they shouldnt be. Those tools are good and to help..but they are not the source. God is the source. May you find Him now...
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Join Date: Mar 2007
Location: UK
Posts: 40
I got mentally addicted to alcohol several years before I became an alcoholic. I used it anytime I wanted to escape from my problems, but could stop providing things were going a little better. But somehow I always knew it would reach a point when I became physically addicted, and it did.
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Join Date: Jan 2007
Location: Lobstah Land
Posts: 1,122
My personal reccomendation to you would be to study alcoholism.
After all if I thought I might have a disease of some kind I would research the heck out of it and learn all that I could so that I could better deal with it.
Two must reads are, "Alcoholics Anomymous" (the 'big book' of AA) and ""Under the Influence". Both are available on amazon. I have also found "The Recovery Book" to be useful.
By coming here you have shown at least an interest in the subject and I think that this is a great place to learn from real people their experienceas and observations.
Oh, and by the wat I had a tremendous mental obsession concerning alcohol for most of my life. I still get cravings now, but they usually pass. If my cravings becomes too strong I will call a friend in AA for support.
Early in my drinking I often went for a spell between binges without trouble, but over the years I got worse and worse.
I wish you well, whatever will be,
Ted
P.S. now you've got that song playing in my head!
After all if I thought I might have a disease of some kind I would research the heck out of it and learn all that I could so that I could better deal with it.
Two must reads are, "Alcoholics Anomymous" (the 'big book' of AA) and ""Under the Influence". Both are available on amazon. I have also found "The Recovery Book" to be useful.
By coming here you have shown at least an interest in the subject and I think that this is a great place to learn from real people their experienceas and observations.
Oh, and by the wat I had a tremendous mental obsession concerning alcohol for most of my life. I still get cravings now, but they usually pass. If my cravings becomes too strong I will call a friend in AA for support.
Early in my drinking I often went for a spell between binges without trouble, but over the years I got worse and worse.
I wish you well, whatever will be,
Ted
P.S. now you've got that song playing in my head!
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Join Date: Nov 2006
Location: Florham Park, NJ
Posts: 174
I wanted to add my 2cents to Steve's comments.
The question is "managing" drinking vs. abstence. I found it interesting your comments concerning abstence was too overwhelming for you vs managing alchohol to some degree.
That was always big with me as well in the beginning. But that (for me) became my worst reasoning for post-poning my health, happiness and peace of mind. I'll tell you that it was not just my thinking like that but most others as well. How many times did I have people tell me (just one or two) will take the obession off none at all. Funny, how those same people are now congratulating me for not drinking at all (now). And the ones that don't, I don't care!
The bottom line my "overwhelmed" feeling of never drinking again was not resisting a "good" self indulgence. It was entertaining and lusting a unhealthy desire. Plain and simple. As my desire to drink was not to "manage" a couple drinks but to "manage life". THAT is the ticket to addiction.
That obsession to manage drink over absitence was really a sign I had an area of my life I didn't want to give to God. Selfish, pleasure, escape. Not deal with uncomfortable feelings. Emotions, my friends, are transient. When you try to manage with a substance you will never win. Interesting the reasons I started to drink over (which I thought were significant enough)...became less and less meaningful. Hense I drank over minor things in the end. ie. drinking because I am sad, drinking because I am happy, my daughter acted up, I have to do house cleaning..? BTW, this was not the case in the beginning but ended up the case in the end.
What I have gained from this "abstence" is nothing compared to what I thought it would be...I am not unhappy, unsatisfied, isolated, boring - living in constant torture of unfulfilled desire/s. The unfulfilled desires was lifted when i stopped entertaining the substance to fulfill it and relied on God instead.
What I have gained... self respect, self esteem, security, stability, courage, endurance, patience, insight, understanding...wisdom. In what I thought was losing myself, I have gained the me I thought I could never be.
The net is..it is a win/win to not drink. Its not what you are giving up it is what you are gaining. Funny, I look at "moderation" drinkers as missing out on a great gift...quick fixes in any form only lead up to dependence to them.
The question is "managing" drinking vs. abstence. I found it interesting your comments concerning abstence was too overwhelming for you vs managing alchohol to some degree.
That was always big with me as well in the beginning. But that (for me) became my worst reasoning for post-poning my health, happiness and peace of mind. I'll tell you that it was not just my thinking like that but most others as well. How many times did I have people tell me (just one or two) will take the obession off none at all. Funny, how those same people are now congratulating me for not drinking at all (now). And the ones that don't, I don't care!
The bottom line my "overwhelmed" feeling of never drinking again was not resisting a "good" self indulgence. It was entertaining and lusting a unhealthy desire. Plain and simple. As my desire to drink was not to "manage" a couple drinks but to "manage life". THAT is the ticket to addiction.
That obsession to manage drink over absitence was really a sign I had an area of my life I didn't want to give to God. Selfish, pleasure, escape. Not deal with uncomfortable feelings. Emotions, my friends, are transient. When you try to manage with a substance you will never win. Interesting the reasons I started to drink over (which I thought were significant enough)...became less and less meaningful. Hense I drank over minor things in the end. ie. drinking because I am sad, drinking because I am happy, my daughter acted up, I have to do house cleaning..? BTW, this was not the case in the beginning but ended up the case in the end.
What I have gained from this "abstence" is nothing compared to what I thought it would be...I am not unhappy, unsatisfied, isolated, boring - living in constant torture of unfulfilled desire/s. The unfulfilled desires was lifted when i stopped entertaining the substance to fulfill it and relied on God instead.
What I have gained... self respect, self esteem, security, stability, courage, endurance, patience, insight, understanding...wisdom. In what I thought was losing myself, I have gained the me I thought I could never be.
The net is..it is a win/win to not drink. Its not what you are giving up it is what you are gaining. Funny, I look at "moderation" drinkers as missing out on a great gift...quick fixes in any form only lead up to dependence to them.
Last edited by Mercedes1; 04-25-2007 at 07:24 AM.
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The net is..it is a win/win to not drink. Its not what you are giving up it is what you are gaining. Funny, I look at "moderation" drinkers as missing out on a great gift...quick fixes in any form only lead up to dependence to them.
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