23 days
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Oct 2005
Location: Richmond, VA
Posts: 76
23 days
I am maintaining my sobriety, but I am still so depressed that I don't know what to do. I have been going to AA meetings, talking to friends, seen my psychiatrist and talked to my therapist.
Nothing is really getting better though. I couldn't even work today. So maybe things are even a little worse.
My doc changed my meds, but that takes weeks to become effective. I am really feeling defeated.
I'm trying to hang in there but I'm slipping deeper into this depression. Does anyone have any suggestions?
Carol
Nothing is really getting better though. I couldn't even work today. So maybe things are even a little worse.
My doc changed my meds, but that takes weeks to become effective. I am really feeling defeated.
I'm trying to hang in there but I'm slipping deeper into this depression. Does anyone have any suggestions?
Carol
Member
Join Date: Aug 2005
Location: Santa Monica
Posts: 137
Originally Posted by Iwanttobe1 
Nothing is really getting better though. I couldn't even work today. So maybe things are even a little worse.
It was on my 21 / 22 / 23rd day of sobriety (today is a day # 43), so all this was happening only three weeks ago!!!
Now I am 1000x better. How?
By a FIRM belief it can, ought and should be better! In my case, understanding of how the life energy works, some ideas about the chemistry also helped. So many depressions are lifted after someone stops eating junk food for example.
You're on meds, no idea which ones, so a real "advice" would be pointless. My experience (and I am ALIVE and WELL today under the most unbearable circumstances in the "real" life; i.e. no job, money, days in front of the eviction, alone in this world on my birthday having none alive to wish me anything...) says that understanding of processes helps as the first step (Andrew Solomon: "The Noonday Demon", a compelling book on depression, "Beyond the Influence", probably the best on alcoholism). The next one would be awareness that it can be better and that it shall be if you wish to and do all that's possible to achieve that betterment. The third part would be to start doing - harness the energy, breathing exercises, concentration exercise... and forcing yourself to do something for yourself, even for five minutes a day. This is how I started, by five minutes a day...
Good luck. None deserves to suffer like you're suffering at the moment.
Member
Join Date: Mar 2007
Location: chicago, IL
Posts: 93
Carol,
I am new to this so take my advise with a grain of salt. Know that if you stay sober today it will get better. If you drink, it will not. I know it sounds simple especially when you are down. I stuggle with the ups (not often enough) and the downs also. It can be very overwheming at times. Peace be with you my friend. You are doing great!! I am very proud of your success. Keep reading the board here. One thing that has helped me is checking the old posts by more experienced members. It helps to see what they have gone through and how they have grown. YOU CAN DO THIS!!
I am new to this so take my advise with a grain of salt. Know that if you stay sober today it will get better. If you drink, it will not. I know it sounds simple especially when you are down. I stuggle with the ups (not often enough) and the downs also. It can be very overwheming at times. Peace be with you my friend. You are doing great!! I am very proud of your success. Keep reading the board here. One thing that has helped me is checking the old posts by more experienced members. It helps to see what they have gone through and how they have grown. YOU CAN DO THIS!!
Guest
Join Date: Dec 2006
Location: Canada
Posts: 4,580
Carol...I have a feeling and only a feeling that you are carrying something..something huge...something that needs release. Do you share at meetings...do you speak from your heart? Something within your darkness is all consuming and weighing heavily upon your soul.
It is a feeling I have...I'm no Dr. Phil...feel free to ignore or tell me to pound sand if you wish.
It is a feeling I have...I'm no Dr. Phil...feel free to ignore or tell me to pound sand if you wish.
Administrator
Join Date: Aug 2003
Location: Dancing in the Light
Posts: 61,512
Hi Carol,
I'm glad you're hanging in.
It took me a long time to get the meds for depression figured out. I had to try 3 different meds and then 3 different doses before it worked for me. Don't give up. There is lots of hope. Keep seeking help and it will work out for you.
I'm glad you're hanging in.
It took me a long time to get the meds for depression figured out. I had to try 3 different meds and then 3 different doses before it worked for me. Don't give up. There is lots of hope. Keep seeking help and it will work out for you.
Member
Join Date: Sep 2004
Location: California
Posts: 972
(( carol ))
You are still detoxing. Detox comes with a huge range of emotions but mostly we all get either anxious or depressed or both. 23 days is fantastic! You have to remember you didn't get in the shape you're in in only 23 days and it's gonna take more than that to get your emotions to level out.
There is no quick fix. Exercise does help. If you can only just hang in there.. endure.. white knuckle.. distract yourself enough to get out of your own head and play the most important waiting game of your entire life, you will get the crap out of your body and your mind will be able to put a smile on your face again.
The really important thing for you to remember is that these feelings you're having now are temporary and a definite product of your body detoxing. We all think the torture is going to last forever but please KNOW it doesn't. It takes all of us longer than we want to be able to deal with experiencing feelings again... as we remain sober we naturally regain our coping skills.
Watch out for the 3-4 month PAWS anxiety/blues and you'll be amazed at how good sobriety really feels if you just give it the time you need to have those tenacious chemicals out of you. You can do it!
You are still detoxing. Detox comes with a huge range of emotions but mostly we all get either anxious or depressed or both. 23 days is fantastic! You have to remember you didn't get in the shape you're in in only 23 days and it's gonna take more than that to get your emotions to level out.
There is no quick fix. Exercise does help. If you can only just hang in there.. endure.. white knuckle.. distract yourself enough to get out of your own head and play the most important waiting game of your entire life, you will get the crap out of your body and your mind will be able to put a smile on your face again.
The really important thing for you to remember is that these feelings you're having now are temporary and a definite product of your body detoxing. We all think the torture is going to last forever but please KNOW it doesn't. It takes all of us longer than we want to be able to deal with experiencing feelings again... as we remain sober we naturally regain our coping skills.
Watch out for the 3-4 month PAWS anxiety/blues and you'll be amazed at how good sobriety really feels if you just give it the time you need to have those tenacious chemicals out of you. You can do it!
let it grow!
Join Date: Oct 2006
Location: USA
Posts: 15,540
oh carol, i'm sorry that you are struggling. you're doing the right things. i pray you can find the strength and patience to get through this time. do some simple things that you enjoy, stay busy and focused on your recovery. and keep reaching out - we're listening over here! blessings, k
Follow Directions!
Join Date: Nov 2006
Location: Fredericksburg, Va.
Posts: 9,730
Carol my dear, this probably is the last bit of the alcohol in your brain screaming at you to drink, this is probably the toughest part you will go through hon.
Carol please keep in mind that if you drink now you will one day have to go through this again. Drinking will not make it better, it will always make it worse.
I very well could be wrong.... but I have a feeling that Nuudawn may be on to something. Hon if she is right then you need to get it out into the open, once it is out the worst of it is over.
Call your sponsor and some of the other numbers you have as soon as you can. What you are going through right now is perfectly normal whether you are clinically depressed or not. I was at a meeting today at noon.... (I have been sick and stayed home from work), aguy picked up his 30 day chip and he described exactly what you are going through right now at his 3 week point, he said it took every bit of help he could get to help him through it, but he made just like I made it and so many others.
Carol pick up that phone hon and call some of the numbers you have, you know the help is there, ask for it. You get over this hump and it is onward and upward.
Congrats on 23 days hon, pick up the phone, get to a meeting, do anything except pick up today!
Carol please keep in mind that if you drink now you will one day have to go through this again. Drinking will not make it better, it will always make it worse.
I very well could be wrong.... but I have a feeling that Nuudawn may be on to something. Hon if she is right then you need to get it out into the open, once it is out the worst of it is over.
Call your sponsor and some of the other numbers you have as soon as you can. What you are going through right now is perfectly normal whether you are clinically depressed or not. I was at a meeting today at noon.... (I have been sick and stayed home from work), aguy picked up his 30 day chip and he described exactly what you are going through right now at his 3 week point, he said it took every bit of help he could get to help him through it, but he made just like I made it and so many others.
Carol pick up that phone hon and call some of the numbers you have, you know the help is there, ask for it. You get over this hump and it is onward and upward.
Congrats on 23 days hon, pick up the phone, get to a meeting, do anything except pick up today!
Member
Join Date: Dec 2003
Posts: 12,136
Carol,
You can do this. Hang in there. You have been given a lot of great suggestions. I am so glad you are posting here reaching out, and not reaching for something else.
When I struggle with depression (and it's been a lifelong burden) I try to make myself do one hard thing every day to get moving. I was told that if the mind is making you crazy, do something with the body. So yesterday I swept the basement which was making me nuts. It got me moving at least. Then I baked banana bread. The smell of it cooking lifted my spirits.
And this morning I just didn't want to get out of bed even after a four day weekend. But I promised myself that even when it hurts, to suit up and show up, and to be accountable. So I made it to work and while I'm not the happiest to be around, I'm here. I used to skip work all the time due to crippling depression, but I really think it's better to come to work and keep my mind occupied on something other than my life and it's inherent struggles.
Please keep posting, and you are welcome to PM me anytime. I'll check back often.
Rowan
You can do this. Hang in there. You have been given a lot of great suggestions. I am so glad you are posting here reaching out, and not reaching for something else.
When I struggle with depression (and it's been a lifelong burden) I try to make myself do one hard thing every day to get moving. I was told that if the mind is making you crazy, do something with the body. So yesterday I swept the basement which was making me nuts. It got me moving at least. Then I baked banana bread. The smell of it cooking lifted my spirits.
And this morning I just didn't want to get out of bed even after a four day weekend. But I promised myself that even when it hurts, to suit up and show up, and to be accountable. So I made it to work and while I'm not the happiest to be around, I'm here. I used to skip work all the time due to crippling depression, but I really think it's better to come to work and keep my mind occupied on something other than my life and it's inherent struggles.
Please keep posting, and you are welcome to PM me anytime. I'll check back often.
Rowan
Follow Directions!
Join Date: Nov 2006
Location: Fredericksburg, Va.
Posts: 9,730
Carol if you have not heard this in the rooms yet, when things are really going bad, no matter what it is, keep in mind "This to shall pass". Another one of those corny silly statements that has kept me and thousands of other alcoholics sober "One day at a time".
Glad to hear things are going better hon, chin up...... oh yea by the way if no one has told you they love you today...... I do. One of the biggest burliest guys I know in AA always ends his shares with that and it always makes me and many others feel good.
Glad to hear things are going better hon, chin up...... oh yea by the way if no one has told you they love you today...... I do. One of the biggest burliest guys I know in AA always ends his shares with that and it always makes me and many others feel good.
Guest
Join Date: Dec 2006
Location: Canada
Posts: 4,580
Glad to hear your feeling better Carol. Taz's post reminded me of painful time I endured around 2 1/2 months sober. Over and over and over in my head, the phrase "It's always darkest before the dawn" kept repeating. That sentiment...alone with some very desperate pleas "Please Help me God" got me thru a period of a few days where I was actually beginning to question my sanity. Shortly thereafter, the sun indeed shone...rather brightly in fact.
Currently Active Users Viewing this Thread: 1 (0 members and 1 guests)
