karlee

I know that it is not uncommon for men to drink and get into fight. How about women? It seems whenever I drink. I end up in arguments and fights with others. I got into trouble with trhe police and got into a big argumnet with one of the cops this weekend. The cop was being a jerk because of past issues that had nothing to do with this weekend. This made me angry and started me off. However, just the same it wouldn't of happen if I was sober. i am just wondering if I am the only woman that acts like this. i know this behavior is stupid and would never ever happen when I am sober. It makes me feel so ashamed and embarrassed. It just seems that when I get drunk that I get very angry at times.

CarolD

hmmmm...I did argue often but violence was not
my deal.
I turned out to be a crying depressed drunk.

I am so glad to have recovery!

chip

Welcome to the forum, Karlee.

It sounds like drinking is causing problems in your life. Many of us have found that alcohol = problems. I didn't get in trouble everytime I drank, but everytime I got in trouble, I was drinking.

Alcoholism is a disease. We end up doing things that we wouldn't do sober, we feel ashamed, but we're addicted. It's a horrible cycle. I know what it's like because I've been there. My drinking problem was the major cause of my personal destruction. I couldn't stop. Denial clouded my vision of the problem, and my addiction caused me to blame others. My addicition didn't want me to stop drinking....but stopping drinking would solve many of my problems.

I'm glad I'm sober today. Coming here, to SR was the beginning of my recovery. Eventually I was able to stop drinking. I joined AA, and my life is much better now. I don't do the things I used to do, and I don't get into much trouble anymore.

Welcome, and I hope you find peace.
chip

Astro

"Life which includes deep resentment leads only to futility and unhappiness. If we are to live, we must be free of anger."

How free do you want to be karlee?

My amends to my ex wife went horribly wrong. Her boyfriend was there, a fight ensued, and I walked away with an assault charge and a restraining order. Every day since then I start my day asking myself how free I'd like to be, and asking my higher power for the chance to do his will for me.

symposium

Karlee,

You are definitely not the only one.

I can remember getting drunk and wanting to fight. My boyfriend and I used to box in our backyard and I would get more and more drunk until I was in a rage and I would throw off the gloves and go at it bare fist.

Of course, being that drunk, I couldn't actually hit anyone, but still.

I don't believe I've ever gotten into a physical brawl with a stranger. I don't *think*. For the most part my fights were verbal, and extremely abusive, especially if I would black out.

I know that shame you're feeling. It's a horrible feeling, and one that has inspired many people to quit drinking. Good luck to you.

Heather

Nuudawn

I think I sobered up in the end because my life was "emotionally unmanageable" ..more than just unmanageable in general..I still had a job, my license, etc and some "semblance" of normalcy. Emotionally I was a complete and total trainwreck. Often I was a depressed and crying drunk but I could turn on a dime...I could get extremely surly and angry as well...I was criminally charged for throwing rocks thru a window and kicking in a door...only by the grace of God did I not physically assault the victim of the mischief...cuz I really, really, really, really wanted to.

SaTiT

My gf at a certain piont of the progression of her alocholism
became a very violent drunk. She's not like that when she's sober.
And she dosen't recall being violence in her drunkness.

I had an opportunity to read about how alcohol affect humans or our brain in
general. At a certain threshold, alcohol will make everybody violent.
Our body chemistery are differnet and we all reach this threashold
at different time.

So..it's not really a moral issue of wheather you're a good person
or a bad person. It's just the affects of alcohol.

If you're angery to begin with, alcohol simply amplifies you're anger.

Everybody has anger. Anger is a natural emotion. But our soceity
deem it taboo ,so we havn't learn to deal with anger very will.
As a woman if you were taught not to express your anger, and
told that you were a bad person or a a bad little girl. You stuff
your anger, which feed your depression even more, beucase
surpression of our emotion just leads to depression and
wa...la. You numb yourself through drugs and alcohol to surpress
your anger. and alcohol is a depressent..see how the progression goes.

So first things first ...I don't drink no matter what.
Drugs and alcohol abuse cuase a lot more wreackage aside from my anger.

Now that I'm clean and sober. I can start addressing issues
such as anger. To me anger is just energy, built up energy
due to living in general. Such as exhuast being generated
in an engine...it has to be release.

All i have to do is fine non destrutive ways of releasing that energy.
But if i get creative with it...I can harness that engery and
tranform that energy into posistive actions.
I just play my guitar like a mad man to release energy.
This is how I rid my anger, i need not be so spiritaully enlighten.
I heard on a tape of Dr. Bob...a spiritaul awakening is just plain old common sense.

It is not a moral issue. It's changing my ways of thinking about
anger. Yes...a mental shift, as some would say.

PineappleTea

I didn't get into altercations every time I drank. But just about every time I got involved in altercations, there was alcohol involved. Probably not a coincidence.

fraankie

".........This made me angry ..................."

now, a lot of good rsvp's
and
i don't post this lightly
but
do some research
wikipedia is neat

i don't know you
but
stop drinking
i get angry still

the only problem is
when donald trump flips
he's doing it because he's a good business man
when a drinker flips
it's alcoholic rage
so
cops, etc are only going to egg you on
and
then curse you for being an alcoholic


best
fraankie

laurie6781

Welcome to SR. You have found a site with great Experience, Strength and Hope!

I was a mean, angry, vicious drunk for many years before I found sobriety. I won't wish that on my worst enemy.

As said above, sounds like alcohol has become a problem for you.

Stick around, read the 'sticky's' at the tops of the different forums.

Keep posting and let us know how you are doing, we do care.

Love and hugs,

Sugah

http://www.soberrecovery.com/forums/...ets-sober.html

You're not alone. Violence was the first, second and third reasons (probably more...I lost track) I "put the plug in the jug." The last time....I turned all my violence towards myself.

Peace & Love,
Sugah

chip

Welcome to the forum, Pineappletea & Symposium.

Thanks for sharing with us. We've all done much damage to ourselves and others with our drinking. Thankfully, there are answers. I hope everyone finds the answers they need today.
chip

citychick

Hi Karlee,
Alcohol had that effect on me. I'd start out happily enough, but always ended with anger and tears.I drank on a daily basis, tormented my husband and kids and myself. Eventually, there was no joy at all.
I thank God every day for A.A and the Steps.

parentrecovers

hello karlee, my daughter got into fights when she was drinking and using - both verbal and physical. she's in early recovery now, and much more patient. before recovery, there were times when there was just reasoning with her - her judgment and values so tainted by her addiction. today, she is more compassionate, practices better manners, and feels more confident in social and work situations. that's a plus in her recovery. we like to call it "being classy and fabulous"..

blessings, k

Missymae737

Welcome Karlee,

Oh yes, my drunks turn me into a monster...In my fogged thinking, I have no fear and can take on the world. I noticed I became a angry drunk towards the end of my drinking career...

I do not like "THAT" drunk person...

Sober, I am not a violent person, just the opposite.

fraankie

Drinking and Fighting

go together like a horse and carriage
go to AA


best
fraankie

ay100

I sometimes get very violent when I drinkl. It totally depends on my mood. I spent most of my teen years in fighting. I had troublew with the law because of that. I even attempted to kill my wife once.

BUT

THANK GOD and AA nd to the wonderful people here: I AM SOBER.

Peter

Still not sure what used to trigger my anger and fighting.

There was a time when I was proud of my battle scars from bar brawls but besides that I believe it came from unresolved rage.