anewday2day

Hmmm I thinking right now aobut beign powerles.. for along time i always thought powerless meant only being powerless once I took a drink but the more honest wiht myself that I am powerless from not drinkng when it is in front of me ...or when I am depressed....Or whatever i am POWERLESS to not picking up. Unmangeable.. Hell yeah.. I havent been married but manged to screw up every relationship I ever have... Its funny cuz.. I am So phony when I am drinking. denial .. I fool myslef into thinking I am this fun party girl and I actually fool everyone else too. It feels safer to be in that denial place... then to admit I am screwd when it comes to boos. the illusion only last so long though.. I always ended up doing something tragic. Last week i fell on a table and broke it, was not let into a club forr being wasted, and had the cops shw up at my house cuz of suicide threat.. really unmangeable.
I rember one time walking my dog in this trredy neighborhhod and thought.. Hey i will just have one beer. the next thing I knew I was blacked out and woke up at a stangers house with my dog (he was not on his leash) and lost purse and everything...OMG.. Powerless.
Hey i got 3 days today and have sober plan for tonight...yay.

CarolD

3 days! Super!

Kristen E.

Right on I am glad you have 3 days. You are not screwed up. It is the booze telling you that. It has to do with the dieseae.

Have you been to a AA meeting yet?

We have all been there so you are not alone.

I woke up one morning with a brusie on the side of my face and had no idea how the hell it got there. I ask my kids they did not know to this day I have no idea.

I went to my first meeting a year and a half ago. The fellowship in those rooms has kept me sober.

Please look for a meeting, call a local office, don't try to white knuckle it alone.

I am so glad that you came to this forum!!!! Keep coming back and let us know how you are doing.

Paulos

Well anew, I'm on day 2 so you ain't alone, may sound like the same talk here and there but there's plenty of people worse off than us.

Nuudawn

Hey Hon,
Your choices and consequences read much like mine. I hid behind booze for 20 years. I didn't quit being the "party girl" until just over 3 months ago. It's hideously pathetic at 40... hell, it's always pathetic. It's a fraud identity and a prison. My mask was a lie..so I often attracted cheaters and liars into my life. A dishonest life is fraught with pain. I have been beating myself up all day about the choices I've made in adulthood. There is only one person who can take care of me...one person who can keep the hounds of hell at bay...one person who can protect me from abusive men and situations...one person who can make the choices in life that will determine the quality of my life..that person is me...and that person has been drunk and absent for years. I threw myself to the wolves over and over again because I was too wasted, to willing to give over control in every given situation. Hard to look after one's self in a black out. Hard to look after yourself if you're never in your right mind. Give your self a fighting chance to look after your self.

leeside

Powerless means alcohol has all the power if you get too close to it. In other words you are powerless where alcohol is concerned. If you are powerless over alcohol you have to staaaaaaaay awaaaaaaaaay from it.

Golfman

"no mental defense against the first drink."

Fluttering

"...all we really have is a daily reprieve...." Fantastic you found us..!!
I alond cannot heal or cure myself...but together, as we share, ask questions, learn from our mistakes....after total and utter defeat do we.begin to look around and see others before us, others walking beside us..it is then recovery begins..one person--reaching out ot another

We are here for you ,.Please don't quit before the miracle happens...

anewday2day

yep lack of power is our dilema... that power must come frim something greater then ourselves.I have relying on the HP all day and it has help despite some bad craving I had today.. day 3 yoo hoo.