My Brother Needs Help
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Thread Starter
Join Date: Jan 2007
Location: MA
Posts: 3
My Brother Needs Help
Yes, this is really about my brother. He's had a problem with alcohol for about 5 years now and is nearing the bottom. It seems that every couple of weeks now, he gets sent to the hospital by ambulance and gets put in a temporary detox ward or psych ward depending on where he ends up.
He isn't working and very depressed. He has pills for the depression, but drinks with them (which you're not supposed to do). The more he drinks, the more depressed he gets...it seems to be an endless cycle.
He's been to AA meetings and the last try at getting sober lasted about 30 days. Now his landlord is going through eviction proceedings. Wefare is dropping him (not sure why). Again, he has no job, no income,, no insurance. The family is all tapped out as well (both financially and mentally) trying to help him.
He lives in central Massachusetts (right near the CT border). He's about to be homeless and I'm worried he may do something to hurt himself or worse.
Is there any kind of help, like detox, in Massachusetts for people like him with no money and no resources? We are all at wits end and don't know what to do. I think he needs to detox for a few months, not week at a time which doesn't help.
I've searched around on the internet from work and can't find anything. That's when I ran across this forum. Any help out there???
He isn't working and very depressed. He has pills for the depression, but drinks with them (which you're not supposed to do). The more he drinks, the more depressed he gets...it seems to be an endless cycle.
He's been to AA meetings and the last try at getting sober lasted about 30 days. Now his landlord is going through eviction proceedings. Wefare is dropping him (not sure why). Again, he has no job, no income,, no insurance. The family is all tapped out as well (both financially and mentally) trying to help him.
He lives in central Massachusetts (right near the CT border). He's about to be homeless and I'm worried he may do something to hurt himself or worse.
Is there any kind of help, like detox, in Massachusetts for people like him with no money and no resources? We are all at wits end and don't know what to do. I think he needs to detox for a few months, not week at a time which doesn't help.
I've searched around on the internet from work and can't find anything. That's when I ran across this forum. Any help out there???
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Join Date: Nov 2006
Location: Fredericksburg, Va.
Posts: 9,730
Maverick my heart goes out to you, does your brother want to quit?
Carol's suggestions are excellent, but until your brother wants it, he may not get it.
You may actually be able to get him commited if he reaches the point of being totally out of control.
Carol's suggestions are excellent, but until your brother wants it, he may not get it.
You may actually be able to get him commited if he reaches the point of being totally out of control.
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Join Date: Jan 2007
Posts: 1,002
I know this must be hard but, there is a point where you must let go. Helping him constently is merely enabling him, and feeding the disease. I know this sounds terrible to do, there is no really easy way. Check out al anon for you and your family. He will be in my prayers.
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Thread Starter
Join Date: Jan 2007
Location: MA
Posts: 3
Update
I appreciate the replies from you all, but after doing some research, I cannot find out who to contact from the Salvation Army in Massachusetts...maybe I'm not searching correctly.
Just an update too....My brother called 911 last weekend again and they took him into the psych ward at our local hospital (seems to be the normal routine). This time, however, they filed a section 35 which, as part of MA law, allows them to committ him for a period not to exceed 30 days.
They told him that this would allow them to send him to a rehab center. What the law reads is that yes, the "could", but if there are no beds available, the court sends him to Bridgewater PRISON in Massachsetts for a period not to exceed 30 days.
The section of the prison is separate from the criminal section, but he was not allowed to bring anything with him, they took him to court in chains, booked him at the police station and took him to the prison in chains. He finally got a chance to call our mother almost a week later and he told her all of the above. He doesn't get to work with a psychiatrist or any kind of group. He says they go twice a day to listen to people talk about alcoholism and that's it.
As I stated before, he is indigent (he's now been evicted from his apratment, no job, etc.) and the familiy doesn't have the money to get him into a private rehab. While he's at Bridgewater, I need to try and get some kind of way he can get help in his current financial condition. We are all at wits end here......
Just an update too....My brother called 911 last weekend again and they took him into the psych ward at our local hospital (seems to be the normal routine). This time, however, they filed a section 35 which, as part of MA law, allows them to committ him for a period not to exceed 30 days.
They told him that this would allow them to send him to a rehab center. What the law reads is that yes, the "could", but if there are no beds available, the court sends him to Bridgewater PRISON in Massachsetts for a period not to exceed 30 days.
The section of the prison is separate from the criminal section, but he was not allowed to bring anything with him, they took him to court in chains, booked him at the police station and took him to the prison in chains. He finally got a chance to call our mother almost a week later and he told her all of the above. He doesn't get to work with a psychiatrist or any kind of group. He says they go twice a day to listen to people talk about alcoholism and that's it.
As I stated before, he is indigent (he's now been evicted from his apratment, no job, etc.) and the familiy doesn't have the money to get him into a private rehab. While he's at Bridgewater, I need to try and get some kind of way he can get help in his current financial condition. We are all at wits end here......
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Join Date: Nov 2006
Location: Fredericksburg, Va.
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Maverick grab the phone book, call the Salvation Army, after you get off the phone with them call Social Services, I have money that says you will find something for him..... but the question is, does he want to get and stay sober? We all know what others want for him, but until he really wants it and is willing to do anything to get it, all of it is a waste of time.
Alcoholism is a heart breaking disease.
Alcoholism is a heart breaking disease.
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Thread Starter
Join Date: Jan 2007
Location: MA
Posts: 3
Thanks Tazman. You're right about the heartbreaking part. I went through this with my dad more than 20 years ago. He was 46 when he died from this. I know this is my brother, but after trying the advice route and other methods of help, I've tried to keep my distance because I don't want to go through this again (self preservation??).
Anyway, I think this stint at Bridgewater is opening his eyes. I would think he has to be getting near the bottom, but you never know. He says he wants to quit, but actions speak a different story. It's hard not to get involved. I'll make some calls today and see what I can find. Thanks again
Anyway, I think this stint at Bridgewater is opening his eyes. I would think he has to be getting near the bottom, but you never know. He says he wants to quit, but actions speak a different story. It's hard not to get involved. I'll make some calls today and see what I can find. Thanks again
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Join Date: Nov 2006
Location: Fredericksburg, Va.
Posts: 9,730
Maverick a smart move detaching, nothing wrong with doing some research and giving him the opportunity to take advantage of it.
He is the only one who can get himself sober and stay sober. If he is going to take his life down the tiolet there is no reason in the world for you to go with him.
Love him and pray for him, that is the best advice I can think of.
He is the only one who can get himself sober and stay sober. If he is going to take his life down the tiolet there is no reason in the world for you to go with him.
Love him and pray for him, that is the best advice I can think of.
let it grow!
Join Date: Oct 2006
Location: USA
Posts: 15,540
hello maverick, and welcome -
your brother is lucky to have such a caring sister. please remember to take good care of yourself - alanon is a great step in your own recovery. about your brother's addiction - you didn't cause it, you can't cure it, and you cannot control it.
sending prayers to you and your family, k
your brother is lucky to have such a caring sister. please remember to take good care of yourself - alanon is a great step in your own recovery. about your brother's addiction - you didn't cause it, you can't cure it, and you cannot control it.
sending prayers to you and your family, k
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