Time2Surrender

If I let one meeting or one group in particular run me off, I would have been done with 12 step programs years ago. Thank God I kept coming back. Find another group. Or, go back just to **** them off if anything. But dont let anyone deprive you of your recovery. Its yours. You earned it. **** them.

I'mready99

Don't throw the whole bushel out because you found one rotten apple...

Like Time2 Surrender said, its your recovery, don't let anybody gamble with something that important!!!

One day at a time.

Steve

zoomer

I remember being cut off from my old sponcer at a meeting right when I was saying something. How she humiliated me. I ran from the room and got my new sponcer. He told me to get my ass back in there because I earned my seat. I went back in there and told her she was not going to run me off sat down and kept going back. I still see this person at meetings,but i think she has more respect for me for going back and not letting anyone get in the way of my recovery. I also know too that I new again and had to earn respect because I had a big mouth and I was still sick in the mind. AA is not a cure all for all our problems. I'v learned too to sit back and really listion perhaps there are the words that I needed to hear right at the moment. Right now I'm going through some heavy life stuff, I talk to my sponcer and try not to let it all hang out at meetings. I guess it's learning self control. Carol asked if you are still drinking,perhaps that is why people did not come forward,but then again they just might all be ass holes. I know though your actions afterwards where not proper. I'd be too scard to come up to you after a rant like that. Hope you can calm down some and get back to a meeting. You earned your seat thats for sure

Brookie

Yup. You've got to reach out a little. Find someone who doesn't look like a total **** to you, and ask them how it's going. If you don't like that meeting, try a different one. There are about 2000 meetings a week near me, and there's only a couple I like enough to go regularly. I'm guessing Hartford's the same way, and there are plenty of choices.

That said, get to know some of the people who push your buttons. If they're pissing you off, it may be something you need to hear.

Much luck Patrick. We've been hanging around these boards for about the same length of time, and I've got less than 90 days. I'd like to see you succeed.

Best,
Joe

chris k

Like so many of us, I came in and out of the fellowship for years, and I kept getting loaded. When I got my 2nd to the last desire chip, nobody clapped, what was the point, I wasnt gonna do anything different and they knew it. Yes I needed to stop, yes I wanted to stop, but I was not yet willing to do what it took to stay stopped.
When I came back this last time, I walked in sat down and kept my mouth shut and my eyes and ears open. I didnt take another chip because it wasnt important. What was important was that I was willing to go to any lengths to stay sober.
for my first 2 weeks I listened and watched. The guy who was to be my first sponsor came over and started talking to me after a day or 2. We started on the steps. 1,2,and 3 took about 10 or 15 minutes, then I stared writing a 4th step. at about 45 days we did my 5th step, that nite after the meeting when nobody was looking I got a desire chip out of the basket, went home did 6 &7 out of the big book. I had a good start on my 8th step list from 4th step and began making amends the next day. Ive been sober ever since, 8-2-92was the day my grandsponsor picked for me to use as a sobriety date.
I hated everyone at that group and they still saved my life, for that I am truly greatful.
I say all that to say this, I didnt have to like them, I didnt have to think what they told me to do was a good idea, but I did have to take the action and trust the process. Yes it hurt and was unpleasant at first, but I have a great life today because of AA.

IMHomerSimpson

i will keep this short,1st thanks to evbody here,evbody had good advice and i only wish you ppl were there the other night,im def NOT bashing all aa just this meeting and the na meeting there too.if i had blls i would go back to the same meeting and when they ask if any body new i stand up and remind them who i am and how i felt upon walking out that night,man that one guy who tried to help was sincere but i already snapped and was near out of control(smacked the antenna of my car) and after that the guy slowly backed away so i prob owe him apology but i never looked at his face cuz i was in a breakdown mode.im not throwing in the towel on my quest for peace,sobriety.

frstnm

Homer you are in the right place to talk.
Let it rip ! Feel free to ask me questions - Im reasonably new but I wont BS you or cover it in sugar - I cant speak for all the others here @ SR but many Im sure would say the same......
Not all meetings and the people in them are like that !
You should always feel welcome - if you were to go back and they were the same way I might find a new meeting if it were me.
I am fortunate to hae some really good ones w great people in them, but
not everyone is good for me so I take what I need and leave the rest.

carol - that was freakin funny "at least they will remember you" roflmfao

mikel60

Hey Homer,
Sorry about your experience. When I first got sober, back in 96, I couldn't go to meetings in my own neighborhood because I had no use for any of the people there. I had come to a few meetings brand new and shaking and they wouldn't give me the time of day. A couple of guys came up to me with the "Are you done yet? Had enough?" and I was like "Screw you, you were two beers and a hotdog when you were out there and you're gonna bully me into sobriety? Your last drink was Bailey's Irish Creme tough guy!" That was my attitude. I was ready to ditch AA.

God had other plans. I went across town to a meeting in South Boston the next day. The first person to walk through the door was my old favorite bartender. No lie. He was a young guy that I thought had it going on. One day at the bar he told me he was leaving to go on a trip. He said I was a good guy and he wished me well.

The trip he was going on was AA. He walked straight across the room that morning in Southie, shook my hand and said he knew he'd see me some day. He introduced me to a bunch of guys. We went out for breakfast right across the street from the bar where they filmed Good Will Hunting.

These guys didn't give me the tough guy routine. They talked to me... "Hey Mike, where do you live... What do you do for work...Did you see the Bruins last night...?" They treated me like a human being, in the process saving my life. This was the first time I had felt like a person in a long time.

I met these guys every week for quite a while, and still see some of them. They were (are) lawyers, actors, custodians, musicians, carpenters, bus drivers, but mostly they were friends. That for me is AA and that can save your life.

Hang in there, Homer. These guys are out there and I hope you an find them.

Mike in Boston

Nuudawn

I'm not sure if I have my information right. This was your first meeting? If so, I"m glad you are not giving up on the whole deal. I have found such peace there. My first meeting (not even a month ago)...well, I walked in pretty broken. I was late cuz I got time wrong from internet..and kinda slunked to the side of the room. Someone handed me a piece of paper with some topics on it. I thought "Wow, how nice ..they are letting me know what they're all talking about". I looked up and everybody was looking at me. Anybody whose been to AA probably knows what that paper was about... was expected to talk. I was frozen. Someone realized I was new..and just took the paper from me. Then an older fella reached in his pocked and gave me some sort of coin...I was pretty dumbfounded at that meeting..but people reached out.
People..whether AA or not...can't help but be afraid of anger and lack of emotional control. And you're size,...yep intimidating. You say that someone indeed reached out...so that's awesome.
Hopefully you will return, perhaps not in quite a state....

Don't all of us alkies have real difficulty with an absence of immediate self gratification? That's what got us here. I truly hope ya hang in there Homer. Truly.

GlassPrisoner

Yup.

And expecting things to go our way, expecting people to drop everything for our needs, we tend to be a "bit" sensative, to name a few

Find another meeting Homer. I was warmly welcomed and embraced at my 2nd meeting. Been there (and others) ever since.

leviathon

wow, feel for ya, I am a large man too... what I have learned is that I have to ask for help and not be angry or at least appearing angry... 225 lbs at 6' is intimidating especially when a lot of that is muscle. I also look scary when I am mad... I had to learn to actually openly ask. Not easy for me. But I did learn.

Peace, Levi