Attitude Change
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Dec 2006
Location: asia
Posts: 45
Attitude Change
Hi,
I have been reading a lot of the postings here and have been struck bythe degree of gratitude expressed by many of you who seem to be working your programs in sobriety. Previously, I had noted that the active alcoholics are very much stuck in self pity -the world is out to get them!
So assuming many of you made a transition from the 'poor-me attitude' to a more optimistic one, I would like to know if the attitude change preceded you finding a program (or choosing to go after sobriety) or did it come after you had become sober? Apologies for my clumsy sentence structure!
I am also wondering how much of the gratitude is cultural -seeing as from my very scientific study :-) I have concluded that Americans are among the most (generally) optimistic people. I would be very interested to hear from the other nationalities represented on this board as well.
Thanks & wishing you the best, Minah.
I have been reading a lot of the postings here and have been struck bythe degree of gratitude expressed by many of you who seem to be working your programs in sobriety. Previously, I had noted that the active alcoholics are very much stuck in self pity -the world is out to get them!
So assuming many of you made a transition from the 'poor-me attitude' to a more optimistic one, I would like to know if the attitude change preceded you finding a program (or choosing to go after sobriety) or did it come after you had become sober? Apologies for my clumsy sentence structure!
I am also wondering how much of the gratitude is cultural -seeing as from my very scientific study :-) I have concluded that Americans are among the most (generally) optimistic people. I would be very interested to hear from the other nationalities represented on this board as well.
Thanks & wishing you the best, Minah.
Member
Join Date: Nov 2006
Location: Murrieta, Ca
Posts: 2,683
I had noted that the active alcoholics are very much stuck in self pity -the world is out to get them!
My gratitude started immediately after I took the 3rd step. That is where I turned over my will and life over to God as I understand him.
The very next day, small miracles started happening in my life, and continue to happen.
I also think the experience of hitting rock bottom allows us to see what is really important in life. Once you've lost a few things that you used to take for granted, simple things become a blessing. For example, comfortably falling asleep in a nice warm bed. As opposed to passing out and waking in the early morning with the sweats and shakes. Or having to sleep in prison or jail....
Another example would be having an appetite, and enjoying food. As opposed to choking down what little solid food you can manage (Most alcoholics get a lot of calories from the booze)
Member
Join Date: Jun 2006
Location: UK
Posts: 1,415
Morning Minah!
The attitude change came after I stopped drinking. You're right - this was as a result of entering a programme of recovery, in my case the programme of AA. I don't know how cultural it is, AA has been around for a long time, maybe that's a bit of a chicken and egg question! I live in the UK.
The programme of recovery detailed in AA seems to be geared towards addressing the particular shortcomings that a lot of alcoholics seem to have - all of which are summarised in the Big Book as "self-centred". Self-pity is of course one of those shortcomings. By firstly behaving in different ways, and secondly by cultivating different attitudes towards others and the universe, we can prevent these shortcomings continuing to have such negative affects on our lives. One of the different attitudes is gratitude. Practicing it not only "makes" me more optimistic, it seems to have a genuinely healthy effect on me.
So thanks for bringing this topic up!
The attitude change came after I stopped drinking. You're right - this was as a result of entering a programme of recovery, in my case the programme of AA. I don't know how cultural it is, AA has been around for a long time, maybe that's a bit of a chicken and egg question! I live in the UK.
The programme of recovery detailed in AA seems to be geared towards addressing the particular shortcomings that a lot of alcoholics seem to have - all of which are summarised in the Big Book as "self-centred". Self-pity is of course one of those shortcomings. By firstly behaving in different ways, and secondly by cultivating different attitudes towards others and the universe, we can prevent these shortcomings continuing to have such negative affects on our lives. One of the different attitudes is gratitude. Practicing it not only "makes" me more optimistic, it seems to have a genuinely healthy effect on me.
So thanks for bringing this topic up!
Guest
Join Date: Dec 2006
Location: Canada
Posts: 4,580
I am Canadian..but I imagine that is still "North American". Our culture and lifestyle is much dictated by our American cousins. I think I found gratitude the moment I went to my first AA meeting...when someone extended their hand and looked me in the eye with understanding. You are right..I had a definite 360 from self pity to gratitude. I think I have always felt a connection with my HP/God but I have come to understand that my relationship with God was like all my other relationships...self serving. My conversations with my HP were always about the things I wanted (or to **** and moan). There was a lot of begging really...lol...but I wanted a God who gave me the things I asked for rather than a God who gave me the things I needed. I think (again, like all my other relationships) I figured I "knew best" with Him too. I laugh at my arrogance now. Words do not express the humility I know understand...the gratitude for the many, many, many blessings in my life I always overlooked. I am grateful each day and in many moments throughout each day. Last night I got a call from my sister telling me that my parents, herself and my nephew had been involved in a terrible car accident on the way home from Christmas. They hit black ice and the vehicle skidded and flipped and is totalled. Apart from some bruises and scratches..ALL are fine. I tell ya...I dropped to my knees for that miracle in my world. I can't imagine how horrible it could have been. Gratitude has definitely replaced self pity in my life.
HopeInFaith
Join Date: Sep 2004
Location: Austin, TX
Posts: 62
Hi Minah: I would say my gratitude started to develop after I truly embraced my powerlessness. After I stopped fighting and accepted myself for what I am, an alcoholic, it was like a weight was lifted off me. And I'm grateful to God for not giving up on me and I'm grateful to my free will for finally accepting.
Member
Join Date: Nov 2003
Location: Boston MA
Posts: 666
Hi Minah,
When I came into recovery (AA) I was still very much self-absorbed and full of self-pity. Part of my recovery process has been learning that the world does not revolve around my supposed needs. As things became clearer I began to see how fortunate I really am, how life is full of opportunity, and that self pity can be self-defeating. Now I feel blessed. Mike
When I came into recovery (AA) I was still very much self-absorbed and full of self-pity. Part of my recovery process has been learning that the world does not revolve around my supposed needs. As things became clearer I began to see how fortunate I really am, how life is full of opportunity, and that self pity can be self-defeating. Now I feel blessed. Mike
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