Blackmage092

I have been divorced for 3 years,and had completely forgotten about alcohol,about 2 months ago i started talking to my x-wife and we are now in a relationship,anyway she has brought feelings into my life that scare me, i'm not so sure about staying sober anymore,it's not that i don't want it,but i think she may have brought the past back.

Grasshopper

in AA,we have a saying.And that is that we dont wish to shut the doors of the past.Today i use my painful past as a tool to help others.
Are you going to any recovery program?it was also when i did my 4-9 step that i was free emotinally from my past.It all happened,and i cannot change my past,.No amount of guilt,pain,sorrow will ever change my past.its over.I can make amends to those i have hurt,and pray for their healing.I can change,through working recovery-.Once i got to the root and causes of the why i did or said things,i then am able to see where i need to change.Thats all i can do.
Face those scary feelings.Go through them.Work on solutions,.And make new memories one day at a time.There is noting in my life today,that would ever lead me to drink again.I have tools to use,if ever i felt like drinking,to take action---one day at a time.Drinking only makes me worse,things worse,than they are,and doesnt change the past.My prayers are with you.

michski

Hey, of course you're gonna have some intense feelings and an xwife's return has gotta to have some major ones attached!

Don't be foolish and pick up.. use SR as a release to express those feelings. It sounds to me like you're happy (are you?) about this and maybe feelings of joy are a trigger for you. I know they were and still are for me.

Take care and please, don't let your past become your future!

miss communicat

Hi,

Having the feelings and feeling them fully in sobriety is really when the rubber meets the road.

Think that thought about drinking, ALL the way through, to the end. Do not romanticize it. Its not a pretty picture.

You may have the opportunity for deep healing within yourself and your relationship with your exwife. Dont be attached to the outcome, and hold to the highest potential for both of you, while remaining sober and realistic about the risks you face.

Stay here at SR and consider getting to meetings for yourself.

Good luck!

CarolD

Hello and Welcome!

For me to stay in the joy of recovery...
I choose to avoid toxic people.

Take care

Baritone

There's a saying in AA, "the same person will drink again". And what that refers to, to me, is my thinking and means of acting. If i get into the same situation as i was in before i got sober, and i go back to thinking and acting the way i did then, i'm liable to start drinking again. If i have changed my way of thinking and acting, i'll be able to make a clear choice as to whether or not i want to return to an old situation, and be able to deal with it appropriately if i decide to do so.

- Jim

Blackmage092

Thanks for the replies,i don't have any support staying sober, i am currently using willpower,i definetly don't think the same way, i am scared to death of alcohol now that i know it is progressive, it took the pain of a divorce to finally see the damage i was doing to my life,well hopefully these feelings will fade over time if not i will get out of that situation and move on.