Ozark

I'm a hypocrite. I'm sitting here on my 4th glass of wine, with no real intention, or even desire right now, in quitting. What BS we tell ourselves mentally, but in reality, I am weaker than s*it.

I won't post again til I have somthing positive to report. I'll still lurk, But I don't feel I am one to give advice, albeit the following may look like it.

Rest assured I'm not looking for any sympathy here...I know the reality of things and I have to learn to do something about it, or just live with the lousiness of it.

To the earlier poster today who really seems to be at dangerous rock bottom....man, listen to Tazman, unlike me, you seemed to have bottommed out....get help to get thru detox....I will pray for you .....Hang in there...at least you have recognized it before it is really too late....I hope I can

CarolD

Mega Hugs Ozark..

You do what you think best..but
.we have no rules that drinkers
can't post!!

I do hope you find answers that work for you.
Prayers and Blessings

Sugah

Ozark, to thine ownself be true. I know where you are. Hang in there with us, and when you're ready, grab onto one of the many hands reaching your way. We'll hoist you up.

Peace & Love,
Sugah

miss communicat

Ozark,

I'm sorry you are still struggling tonight. I really am.

Don't be so hard on yurself. You are not a hypocrite. You are struggling with alcoholism and today is an important part of your process.

Tomorrow we will still be ready to greet you with open hearts and minds, and the next day and the next day.

gypsytears

The forum will be here waiting patiently. You can count on that.

karrotop

hi ozark.....you may not feel you have anything to offer to anyone else now,but keep reading the posts.....i am struggling too.....and i feel better just knowing we are not alone in this struggle called LIFE

Tazman53

Ozark, do not feel you are a hypocrite, you are not. I have an incurable disease, I went through what you are going through now, I promised myself and everyone else in the world it was time for me to quit, yet I failed time and time again.

Talking to people is a way of getting headed in the right direction, maybe picking up the phone book and giving your local AA hotline a call would not be a bad idea. AA hotline could care less if you are drinking when you call or not. There are people out there just like us. They know our struggles, our pain. They have walked the path, they have lied to theirselves just like I have, they have sat and drank all the while hating them selfs just like I used to do.

I sat in my garage drinking every day all by myself wallowing in my own misery. By posting and reading here you know you are not alone, we care about you, there are others right near you as I type that love you also, they will meet you where ever you wish and simply sit down and talk with you as long as you like about anything you like.

Brother do not be down on your self, it is the disease, as already said, now is the time to be true to yourself. Once I was true to myself I was able to get help, my help was but a phone call away.

hope3

Hello Ozark, thank you for your honesty, however
you and you alone can tell you what to do, so I'm
hoping whatever your decision, you are happy with it.
The best wishes for you, Hope3

Grasshopper

To thine own self be true.
A little about myself if i may.
When i came into recovery rooms,and for me it was AA/Al-anon,but in AA i did not have the desire to quit drinking.I didnt have it.I came orginally to the rooms to find out how to help another.That was it.But through exposer to meetings,and listening to others share,eventually i put the focu onto my own recovery,and had that desire to quit.it was a process for me.Part of recovery requires that one is honest,and you have been.Looks to me your on the road to recovery,in process also,just like me.

Anna

Ozark, I hope you take care of yourself. We will be here waiting for you when you are ready to return.

Steve58

Hi Ozark,

Some things take time. You came here and you talked to us, so you know somewhere deep inside of you there is a bit of a problem you would like to address. Someone here said something about it taking as long to walk out of the forest as it did to walk in. This didn't happen overnight to most of us, it took us years to get where we are, so making and breaking a few promises to yourself is not failing, you just trying to find what right for you. This I understand, I am the same way. I have total admiration for those that went the full route, and got it right the first time. Most here did not do that, at least the first few times. I know, I'm one of them. But even though the beast keeps telling me, give up, your doing fine with it (holding job, wife, house, kids, blah, blah, blah) I know better. I know what he wants me to do, give in, but I'm not going to do it. I have too much left undone in my life to waste away the years. So I'll keep at it. With the support here, and the support at home, I'm doing better. Not cured, but heading in the right direction.

I've often thought the hardest part of many tasks is getting started. You have started. Even if your not ready to put down the wine today, stay with us, keep reading, know your not alone, and know you can get through this.

Hugs & prayers,
Steve

Tazman53

Ozark I was over in the "Alcoholism-12 Step Support" forum and read a thread that brought back some memories that made me cry.

The thread was someone asking if it was acceptable for someone who was drunk to attend an AA meeting.

The reason I cried was the first AA meeting I went to I was drunk on my arse!! Yet I was welcomed, I was not thrown out! The only real memory I had was I was drunk and yet I was welcome and could tell that they cared for me. If they had thrown me out I doubt very seriously if I would be here now, because once I left detox the only place I had to go to help me was AA, the arms were still open to this old drunk even though the first meeting I had gone to drunk was 3 years before.

Ozark hang out, we do care, you are not alone.

Astro

Ozark, keep lurking and know that you're in our prayers. Maybe you're not done drinking yet? Just remember that the door to sobriety is always open, but only you can make the decision to walk in and reach your hand out.

I'll never forget my fifth month of sobriety when I looked up, smiled, and stuck my hand out. It felt like there were hundreds of people waiting to pull me in and help me. And they're all still there, helping me every day.

PaperDolls

I used to go to AA meetings after downing a couple (or a few, or whatever) of beers.

Carol87

There will always be a chair for you and we will keep the lights on ...

mthhilly

just remember this my friend "never give up givein up" i hope u get bk on the program dude ive only gone 11 days and allredy feel like a new man maybe im just lucky??? or mabye im not an alcoholic but i know this ill never put myself in a position 2 find out its not easy i wont lie but it takes gut,determination,will power and heart anyway man take it easy


mick

I'mready99

Ozark...

Like others have said, you are NO hypocrite. You are being honest...

I am feeling antsy this afternoon myself. Weekends are not the most favorable time for my sobriety. Right now I am working "One minute at a time"...

Hang tough and post anytime you feel the need, using or not...

Best to you friend...

One day at a time.

Steve

brians

Just post a hello so we know you are alive and here.

Ozark

BrianS....hello to you....still here, and still reading posts here daily.....still chasing the wagon.....just reading here has at least lifted my mood in knowing that others are like me who have no idea why they just can't quit....I'm still at a stage where I'm not sure I want to, yet I DO want to.
Drank 4 or 5 glasses of wine last night, woke up this morning feeling fine, and will going to my oart time job at a retail fly fishing store soon. Just another damn day of no progress.

Steve58

Good to hear from you, I'm in much the same boat as you, Stick around, we'll get it right soon!

Steve