findingout

Hey warrencburton,

Glad you are here

For a lot of years I was a "functional" alcoholic (although a pretty dysfunctional human being when you get right down to it) and then it got to the point I wasn't even a "functional" alcoholic anymore. And then a crisis point arrived: I was told I had a choice between going to rehab or losing my job.

So I stopped drinking and went to rehab. At first, I had no intention of really stopping drinking. I was just going to get my certificate of sobriety and then go back to the only life I'd known for close to 25 years. Something happened during those 6 weeks of outpatient rehab.

I came to believe a couple of things:

I came to believe that I really was an alcoholic.
I came to believe that things were never going to get better as long as I continued to drink.
I came to believe that I didn't, all by myself, without any help, have what I needed to stay sober.

And also, I became willing to believe a couple of things:

I became willing to believe that N.A. and A.A. could help me get sober and stay sober.
I became willing to believe that my life was getting a little bit better each day.
I became willing to believe that every clean day is a successful day no matter what else happens.

And, I didn't pick up no matter what.

Just because you tried to get sober in the past and didn't, doesn't mean that you won't succeed this time if you are willing to do what it takes to keep you sober. And part of that is finding out just what the heck it does take to keep you sober. For sure, that includes not picking up no matter what.

You can do this thing.
Tony

earlybird

Id like you to re-read your post. You call THIS FUNCTIONAL??? Being on the verge of being fired due to your drinking is NOT functional. Being on the verge of losing a wife or girlfriend due to drinking is NOT functional. Too many addicts believe that simply because they are still ALIVE means they are functional. GO TO AA. This time,...GET A SPONSOR. AA only works if you do what is suggested.

Nuudawn

I guess I too consider myself a "functional alcoholic"..cuz ya I still have a job and a driver's license, no criminal history and I wait until after 5:00 before I start drinking. Like your girlfriend, it's a bottle of wine a night during weekdays usually and at least one huge drunk up on the weekend. That amount of booze was killing me. A woman can't drink a bottle of wine a night. I'm 39 years old now and a few years ago I was a lot more active amidst my nightly drinking. I even managed to get myself to the gym 4-5 times a week. I ate quite healthy etc. I still had some fire in my belly and could still pull myself up by my boot straps on my own for the most part...but I was sliding into the deep dark depressive abysss my life has become over past year or two...which culminated in a relationship with someone who drank as much as I. I felt normal with him for first time in years. But it wasn't a relationship he was just a real fine drinking buddy. We split for 2nd time last weekend and I decided to go to AA. I quit drinking after our last breakup...and my "cure" to stop drinking was self education and isolation...which ended up being real lonely and I started drinking again just to socialize. I have tried to quit drinking at least a half dozen times ALWAYS resisting AA. I was too tough, too smart, too cool for that route....those AA'er were a bunch of cultish weakinglings...ya RIGHT.

I finally broke last weekend. I was finally humbled and in too much pain to bear another second of my life. I dragged my sorry self to a meeting. I've only been to 4 meetings..and so far..it feels like the greatest thing that has ever happened to me.

So in short, your girlfriend has a problem..she is sliding I would assume. A bottle of wine a night is a problem...and way too much for a woman. My two pennies anyway.

CarolD

Hmmm..
CDC.... Moderate Drinking...

What is a Standard Drink?

A standard drink is one 12 ounce beer, one 5 ounce glass of wine, or one 1.5 ounce shot of distilled spirits. Each of these drinks contains about half an ounce of alcohol.

Is beer or wine safer to drink than hard liquor?

No. One 12 ounce beer has about the same amount of alcohol as one 5 ounce glass of wine, or one 1.5 ounce shot of liquor.

What is moderate drinking?

Based on current dietary guidelines, moderate drinking for women is defined as an average of 1 drink or less per day. Moderate drinking for men is defined as an average of 2 drinks or less per day USDA

moresome

I quit being a "functional" alcoholic when I got to the point where, if I wasn't drinking, then all I was doing was thinking about when I could drink again.

CarolD

moresome...Welcome to the Alcoholism Forum!

brians

What great feedback on this page!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!1

IMHomerSimpson

i will be brief here,i thought i was functional cuz no major negative stuff but i was playing a game to keep functioning,go to work come home at around 1 pm and drink at least 12 bud lights(pints) smoke a joint and puff down 2 pckf smokes in about 3-4 hours,eat,then get to sleep by 8 pm,no hangover to mess up the start of the next pre-planned day of my routine ive been doing for years.missed so much over these years,17 year old son lost respect for me,10 yr old just scared of and for me,wife just being enabler to keep me from being ass,not as functional as i thought.very sad situation,hope i can get some happy back in my life.

overcomer32

I am kinda in this "functional" category but the weird thing is, I was way worse, in the PAST. Its like....and I know this doesnt sound right... I have gotten better with my drinking over time....

I never miss work, am never late (always early in fact). I returned to school last year after 15 years out and have maintainted a 4.0 GPA. I drink 3-6 beers about 4-5 nights, compared to 5-10 beers, daily, about 4 and 5 years ago, and total drunk-fests on weekends/days off.
I used to take a day or 2 off work (4 years ago) just so I could drink all day and night. I would never even consider such a thing now.

I seem to be losing interest in the "buzz" more and more. I feel like alcohol has fallen severely down ladder rungs for me in terms of how much I like or want it. Its odd... but I also think its wonderful!

Total absteinence is my goal, and I no longer think its impossible. I think if I went to AA at least once a week, and got a sponsor, I could quit altogether. But sometimes I struggle with the wanting to part....

Just my little note here.

Peace,

overcomer

overcomer32

I need to change my tagline.... I drank last night. Was so bored with it, and totally not enjoying it, that i dumped all the rest of the booze out down the drain this morning. Im drinking some lemonade drink right now, and not even thinking of beer (my alkie drink of choice). The one thing, I have gained a lot of weight due to drinking in the last year, because even just a couple beers really charges up my appetite plus i have a food binging/addiction prob as well.

I remember when on some really 'special' occasion, I would drink 6 or more beers, maybe 10 (ice beers, stronger), then a bottle-1 1/2 of champagne. That would get me drunk. I wish the tolerance thing went away, I think I could drink more than most men twice my size, and I wish that werent true (I am a female).

earlybird

I still dont think people "get" it. There IS NO such thing as a functional alcoholic. EVERY alcoholic goes through a span where they think they are functional. "Thank God Im not a "loser"-alcoholic or a homeless one.......Thank GOD I happen to be one of those functional ones". We all thought that. We think that we are lucky in that respect. Like we will be like that for the rest of our lives or drinking careers. You dont pick up drinking,..and immediately behave as a 3rd stage alcoholic. We all get to work early,...for many, many years. All of us had a point in our lives where we were drinking and could still say that we havent had any DUI's or lost a relationship or a job and had no legal trouble. We had none of that..................until we did. Only then do we begin to realize that this thing is NOT at all functional,...but, progressive. Social,...functional,...problem,....abuse. Its in that order. Before we admit we have even a small problem,...we tell ourselves and others we are only "social" drinkers. Then when we have had obvious issues with it,...instead of admitting we need to stop,...we say "Fine,...Im an alcoholic,...but, atleast Im a functional one".......then,...we slip into that middle to last stage where lives fall apart. People leave us. Jobs slip away...and then health goes...and possibly our lives. So the label of "functional Alcoholic" is a myth. Its only a, sometimes very long, PHASE of our drinking careers. The length of it is what makes us believe that we are of the functional "type" of alcoholics. But,...any alcoholic who takes it to term and finds recovery will tell you that it being a label is just not true.

findingout

Yes, that is truth. And, for me at least, the line that separated me from alcoholism moved. Behavior that would have seemed outrageous at one time became the norm and didn't count any longer. I adapted my life and my expectations and my beliefs to keep me on the drinking side of the line as my alcoholism progressed.

Today when I read one of those "are you an alcoholic" tests, I can see that I qualified at least 10 years before I ended up in rehab but back then I had reasons and explanations why I was the exception to every yes answer, why I was the different one. And if I couldn't justify or rationalize, there was always plain old denial. Anything to protect my drinking.