Have been away
body ~ mind ~ spirit
Thread Starter
Join Date: Oct 2005
Location: Geelong, Australia
Posts: 582
Have been away
Hi all, I have been away. Had a really busy time moving after my marriage break up and then I have been settling in home and trying to keep up with work and uni.
Some interesting things have happened over the last few months. Firstly, I somehow got in touch with a past friend and we are now seeing each other. When I say somehow, I mean my phone strangely sent his a couple of messages and I swear that I did nothing. Also it was strange because I had consciously thought that a relationship was not anywhere near the top of my list of important things to worry about right now in my life. So I had really given that over to the universe to concern itself about.
Secondly, my kids and I have just continued to grow closer, without much effort on my part, just a letting go sort of thing and we are all getting along really well.
Thirdly, I have found ways to cope without my partner of 10 years in the areas where I thought it might be hard. He had always been there when I was in drinking situations and I was worried about not having him. I have been ok, it has been rather comfortable for me. For that I thank SR for the opportunity to work through a number of issues and scenarios, plus the fact that I always know that I am not the only person dealing with not drinking in a drinking world.
Also, my ex husband and I were able to see each other last night as friends, I wanted that for us from the start of breaking up, just knew it would not be something that I could force and now it is starting to happen. I am over the moon, he means a lot to me and I really did not like that he was going off the deep end after we split up. Now he seems to have settled down somewhat and we were actually able to talk to each other, yay!!!
All in all, life is great and there are some fantastically good things that happen without my input. If there is anything that the last few months have taught me it is to "let go", to allow the positives to show through and to not try to control things, just to look after me.
love and peace,
Brigid
Some interesting things have happened over the last few months. Firstly, I somehow got in touch with a past friend and we are now seeing each other. When I say somehow, I mean my phone strangely sent his a couple of messages and I swear that I did nothing. Also it was strange because I had consciously thought that a relationship was not anywhere near the top of my list of important things to worry about right now in my life. So I had really given that over to the universe to concern itself about.
Secondly, my kids and I have just continued to grow closer, without much effort on my part, just a letting go sort of thing and we are all getting along really well.
Thirdly, I have found ways to cope without my partner of 10 years in the areas where I thought it might be hard. He had always been there when I was in drinking situations and I was worried about not having him. I have been ok, it has been rather comfortable for me. For that I thank SR for the opportunity to work through a number of issues and scenarios, plus the fact that I always know that I am not the only person dealing with not drinking in a drinking world.
Also, my ex husband and I were able to see each other last night as friends, I wanted that for us from the start of breaking up, just knew it would not be something that I could force and now it is starting to happen. I am over the moon, he means a lot to me and I really did not like that he was going off the deep end after we split up. Now he seems to have settled down somewhat and we were actually able to talk to each other, yay!!!
All in all, life is great and there are some fantastically good things that happen without my input. If there is anything that the last few months have taught me it is to "let go", to allow the positives to show through and to not try to control things, just to look after me.
love and peace,
Brigid
body ~ mind ~ spirit
Thread Starter
Join Date: Oct 2005
Location: Geelong, Australia
Posts: 582
So nice to see lots of familiar people still here and lots of newbies!!! Thanks Phinneas and c'est ... my sobriety has been good. I must admit though that it has been tried fully!!
One of the first nights that Gary and I went out, he really wanted me to join him in a glass of red wine. He had never ever known me to drink when we just knew each other before, in fact a lot of the time at the pub we would talk together because everyone else was drinking and we weren't. He does drink though.
Anyway it was one of those moments where it was a reminiscent thing, maybe I could drink again (it has been 9 years) without harm. Maybe it would be good fun with Gary. Maybe it would relax me in this situation. He asked me if I would join him, I said no, he bought the bottle and 2 glasses to the table just in case. Well I just didn't, I must admit that I have been in a lot of pressing situations and not drunk and this was just another tester. Another one where I had to remember that my life is more important now than alcohol.
Since then I have told Gary that I am an alcoholic, which he didn't realise, and all is good. He will not press me to drink ever again, and he just didn't know.
One of the first nights that Gary and I went out, he really wanted me to join him in a glass of red wine. He had never ever known me to drink when we just knew each other before, in fact a lot of the time at the pub we would talk together because everyone else was drinking and we weren't. He does drink though.
Anyway it was one of those moments where it was a reminiscent thing, maybe I could drink again (it has been 9 years) without harm. Maybe it would be good fun with Gary. Maybe it would relax me in this situation. He asked me if I would join him, I said no, he bought the bottle and 2 glasses to the table just in case. Well I just didn't, I must admit that I have been in a lot of pressing situations and not drunk and this was just another tester. Another one where I had to remember that my life is more important now than alcohol.
Since then I have told Gary that I am an alcoholic, which he didn't realise, and all is good. He will not press me to drink ever again, and he just didn't know.
body ~ mind ~ spirit
Thread Starter
Join Date: Oct 2005
Location: Geelong, Australia
Posts: 582
Thanks CarolD and miss communicat!
Gary is my bf now I guess, yes, he is supportive. I would not put myself in a relationship where the other person wasn't for long. I found it a bit of a turn off initially that I was pressed even a little to have a glass of wine. If Gary had not accepted my not drinking easily no relationship could have happened.
And I don't know how healthy my life is, I am guzzling the coffee (although trying to stop), not jogging nearly enough and have had the occassional ciggie, although not too many.
It is a journey. I still find I go one step forward and then life puts me in a spin because I have to deal with yet another change. They are good changes but still they are scary and they are not instant!! So .... I have to let go and enjoy the ride, hehe.
peace and love!!!
Gary is my bf now I guess, yes, he is supportive. I would not put myself in a relationship where the other person wasn't for long. I found it a bit of a turn off initially that I was pressed even a little to have a glass of wine. If Gary had not accepted my not drinking easily no relationship could have happened.
And I don't know how healthy my life is, I am guzzling the coffee (although trying to stop), not jogging nearly enough and have had the occassional ciggie, although not too many.
It is a journey. I still find I go one step forward and then life puts me in a spin because I have to deal with yet another change. They are good changes but still they are scary and they are not instant!! So .... I have to let go and enjoy the ride, hehe.
peace and love!!!
Follow Directions!
Join Date: Nov 2006
Location: Fredericksburg, Va.
Posts: 9,730
Brigid I am one of the newbies you spoke of, glad to see you come back, the more years of sobriety around the better. It sounds to me like you have the first line in the Serenity prayer nailed right now, accepting those things you can not change.
Glad to hear that the new b/f is a good guy and is accepting of you being an alcoholic, so many alcoholics feel ashamed telling some one they are an alcoholic. To me it is an opportunity to educate those who are unaware that alcoholism is a disease like diabetes and not some sort of moral lacking.
Glad to hear that the new b/f is a good guy and is accepting of you being an alcoholic, so many alcoholics feel ashamed telling some one they are an alcoholic. To me it is an opportunity to educate those who are unaware that alcoholism is a disease like diabetes and not some sort of moral lacking.
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