Do I have a problem?
Member
Join Date: Nov 2006
Location: Ontario, Canada
Posts: 32
I spent my early adult life drinking heavily. At the bar, Thursday, Friday, Saturday and Sunday and home from Mon-Wed. I would show up at peoples houses and expect them to party with me...they usually did. I heard the whispers of "Dawns an alcoholic".
I met my husband a few years ago and he was in recovery when I met him. Not for long though as I was actively drinking. After seeing the destruction of our drinking..I quit...he didnt and still struggles.
My alanon sponsor told me I needed to start AA too. Why? Im not sure. I dont drink anymore. But I listened to her and went. My husband flipped out and says I dont have a drinking problem. So I quit AA and Alanon now.
I still dont drink...but my head is pretty messed up right now.
Im not sure what advice to give you. If people start questioning your drinking and you are too...why not give AA a try? See if you can relate. I know I could when I was there.
Dawn
I met my husband a few years ago and he was in recovery when I met him. Not for long though as I was actively drinking. After seeing the destruction of our drinking..I quit...he didnt and still struggles.
My alanon sponsor told me I needed to start AA too. Why? Im not sure. I dont drink anymore. But I listened to her and went. My husband flipped out and says I dont have a drinking problem. So I quit AA and Alanon now.
I still dont drink...but my head is pretty messed up right now.
Im not sure what advice to give you. If people start questioning your drinking and you are too...why not give AA a try? See if you can relate. I know I could when I was there.
Dawn
Still Faking It!
Join Date: Oct 2006
Location: Concord, CA
Posts: 55
Rationalization and justification are the stuff I lived on ... that and alcohol!!! Try visiting the Alcoholics Anonymous web site and answer the 20 questions. This may enlighten you on your status as an alcoholic.
Oh, only you can decide you have and problem. And, only you can decide to work on it!
Keep coming back! You never have to drink again if you don't want to!
Good Luck,
Di
Oh, only you can decide you have and problem. And, only you can decide to work on it!
Keep coming back! You never have to drink again if you don't want to!
Good Luck,
Di
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Nov 2006
Location: Here
Posts: 8
Originally Posted by earlybird
Unemployment checks arent supposed to support a drinking problem.
Originally Posted by o2bserene
Try visiting the Alcoholics Anonymous web site and answer the 20 questions.
Thx for all the extra replies. I am feeling a hell of alot more guilty since posting here
, which can only be a good thing.
Member
Join Date: Jul 2006
Location: road to recovery
Posts: 1,689
i drank because i was bored. i drank because i was lonely. soon, i just drank.
which came first? i think it's the chicken and egg theory.
consider that you are not looking outside a bottle to get rid of your boredom. (at least i was, although i didn't see it at the time, it's so obvious now that there were many things i could have done to help with the boredom and loneliness. )
boredom and loneliness don't go away if you get a job. boredom and loneliness don't go away even if you stop drinking. the cure for boredom and loneliness lies within you. you will know the truth and you are doing the right thing already by beginning your search.
keep coming back!
which came first? i think it's the chicken and egg theory.
consider that you are not looking outside a bottle to get rid of your boredom. (at least i was, although i didn't see it at the time, it's so obvious now that there were many things i could have done to help with the boredom and loneliness. )
boredom and loneliness don't go away if you get a job. boredom and loneliness don't go away even if you stop drinking. the cure for boredom and loneliness lies within you. you will know the truth and you are doing the right thing already by beginning your search.
keep coming back!
Member
Join Date: Dec 2004
Location: Livonia, MI
Posts: 675
Originally Posted by ShellFly
This sort of thing seems to have appeared a bit in the thread, that I am unemployed because I drink and that I am stupid for thinking it was the other way round. Fact is, I live in a high unemployment area where there are not enough jobs to go around tbh. I apply to around 5/6 jobs per week.
Off to try that now.
Thx for all the extra replies. I am feeling a hell of alot more guilty since posting here
, which can only be a good thing.
Off to try that now.
Thx for all the extra replies. I am feeling a hell of alot more guilty since posting here
, which can only be a good thing.Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Nov 2006
Location: Here
Posts: 8
I have never got as far as a job interview, dispite the hundreds of applications and spec letters I have sent, I have only ever even had replies from 2 companies. I have a decent education and a good CV, so I don't see the problem being drink.
From what I see, your posts are just trying to make me look like an idiot, and thats not what I came here for...
From what I see, your posts are just trying to make me look like an idiot, and thats not what I came here for...
Forward we go...side by side-Rest In Peace
Join Date: Jun 2002
Location: Serene In Dixie
Posts: 36,740
Hmm...forget the job situation.
Sometimes members get carried off the subject.
The topic is do you have a drinking problem.
We all think yes.
What do you think?
Sometimes members get carried off the subject.
The topic is do you have a drinking problem.
We all think yes.
What do you think?
Member
Join Date: Jun 2005
Location: New Orleans, LA/Charlotte, NC
Posts: 78
I agree with Carol...I don't think your unemployment is the issue here. I know very few 19 year olds with jobs, anyway...so maybe it's a side effect, maybe not...whatever...the issue is do you have a drinking problem. I'm always told if you have to ask, the answer is probably yes. Regardless, you have support here!
Member
Join Date: Nov 2003
Location: Boston MA
Posts: 666
Actually not having a job could work to your advantage here. If you're willing, see if there are any daytime AA meetings where you live. That might help with the boredom. Some of those meetings can be pretty interesting - they might help with your drinking, too.
Think hard on your situation and please consider what people have said. It might have been to Unholy Mess that i wrote a few days ago that if you get sober at your age - oh boy! What a life you can have. You can do anything you want. Anything...You have the keys to the kingdom... the winning lottery ticket... go for it... or at least give it a shot. You are worth it. Mike in Boston
Think hard on your situation and please consider what people have said. It might have been to Unholy Mess that i wrote a few days ago that if you get sober at your age - oh boy! What a life you can have. You can do anything you want. Anything...You have the keys to the kingdom... the winning lottery ticket... go for it... or at least give it a shot. You are worth it. Mike in Boston
Member
Join Date: Dec 2004
Location: Livonia, MI
Posts: 675
Originally Posted by THE KING
do you have a drinking problem?
no not YET
but you are on the verge of a VERY SERIOUS drinking problem
right now it sounds like your on the edge, you just havent fallen over yet
no not YET
but you are on the verge of a VERY SERIOUS drinking problem
right now it sounds like your on the edge, you just havent fallen over yet
I think its very irresponsible to tell this person,...a person who admits to drinking 4 days a week,...all day long,.....who is already obviously concerned about his own drinking, and has been unemployed for over 2 years and is denying that his drinking has anything to do with that, that he doesnt have a drinking problem. How can you say that? And being on the verge of a serious drinking problem doesnt exist. Either you are or you arent. You dont go from zero to 60 in this disease. You should know as well as anyone that when an alcoholic is on the verge of maybe finding some recovery, it is soooo easy for them to pull their head back into their turtleshell with the first "You're not an alcoholic" opinion. Very irresponsible in my opinion.
Member
Join Date: Sep 2005
Location: some where / no where
Posts: 1,019
Welcome Shellfly!
I hope you find some answers here. This is turning into a really good thread, and I hope it continues.
My name is chip, and I am an alcoholic. I drank heavily for many years, and I am now %100 alcohol free. It turned out the be the best lifestyle change I could have made, and my life is so much better for it.
I have some advice for you: First, I suggest that you do the AA 20 questions. Answer those questions honestly. Secondly, keep an open mind to the possibility that you might be an alcoholic. Abstaining from alcohol isn't bad, and it doesn't have to "suck". Realizing that one is an alcoholic is the first step towards freedom. You might be tangled in the chains of a nasty progressive disease. My third suggestion is that you try to abstain for 30 days.
If you do the 20 questions, abstain for 30 days, and keep an open mind...I'm confident that it will be enlightening for you.
Also, keep posting on SR. Remember that you are not alone. Alcoholism is the only disease which will tell you that every thing is alright, even when your world is crumbling down around you. Listen to those who are close to you. Their view is different from yours. Remember that if you are addicted to alcohol, that addiction will affect your thinking. There are many of us who stuggle with alcohol. We can all help each other.
peace out,
chip
I hope you find some answers here. This is turning into a really good thread, and I hope it continues.
My name is chip, and I am an alcoholic. I drank heavily for many years, and I am now %100 alcohol free. It turned out the be the best lifestyle change I could have made, and my life is so much better for it.
I have some advice for you: First, I suggest that you do the AA 20 questions. Answer those questions honestly. Secondly, keep an open mind to the possibility that you might be an alcoholic. Abstaining from alcohol isn't bad, and it doesn't have to "suck". Realizing that one is an alcoholic is the first step towards freedom. You might be tangled in the chains of a nasty progressive disease. My third suggestion is that you try to abstain for 30 days.
If you do the 20 questions, abstain for 30 days, and keep an open mind...I'm confident that it will be enlightening for you.
Also, keep posting on SR. Remember that you are not alone. Alcoholism is the only disease which will tell you that every thing is alright, even when your world is crumbling down around you. Listen to those who are close to you. Their view is different from yours. Remember that if you are addicted to alcohol, that addiction will affect your thinking. There are many of us who stuggle with alcohol. We can all help each other.
peace out,
chip
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Nov 2006
Location: Here
Posts: 8
Hey,
My last post was my first time posting here sober. I was seriously expecting that to be my last post here... I don't appriciate comments such as "Unemployment checks arent supposed to support a drinking problem" when i'm here trying my best to get a job.
I took the AA Quiz and only scored the 4/20. Although I felt alot of the questions were for people who really got drunk, such as "Do you envy people who can drink without getting into trouble?". I've never been in trouble in my life due to drink, or otherwise for that matter. But, still, I was in the 4 or over bracket....
I am drinking today, which is the first time since the 24th. Not much you might say, but considering I had alcohol in my fridge. Its pretty good.
To put things straight on the topic, I don't think I have a problem. My friends seem to think I do. My main objective in this topic was to test THEIR theory.
I am drinking today to get rid of the current alcohol I have (not a good start I know)
My last post was my first time posting here sober. I was seriously expecting that to be my last post here... I don't appriciate comments such as "Unemployment checks arent supposed to support a drinking problem" when i'm here trying my best to get a job.
I took the AA Quiz and only scored the 4/20. Although I felt alot of the questions were for people who really got drunk, such as "Do you envy people who can drink without getting into trouble?". I've never been in trouble in my life due to drink, or otherwise for that matter. But, still, I was in the 4 or over bracket....
I am drinking today, which is the first time since the 24th. Not much you might say, but considering I had alcohol in my fridge. Its pretty good.
To put things straight on the topic, I don't think I have a problem. My friends seem to think I do. My main objective in this topic was to test THEIR theory.
I am drinking today to get rid of the current alcohol I have (not a good start I know)
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Nov 2006
Location: Here
Posts: 8
Once my drink has gone from today I will be attempting to stop completly. (I don't see there being any problems with that, but I will post here with details when they arrive)
P.S. I don't appriciate your posts "earlybird". But I can see you've built up a big post count and obviously your a valued member here, maybe its just the way you come across to me.
P.S. I don't appriciate your posts "earlybird". But I can see you've built up a big post count and obviously your a valued member here, maybe its just the way you come across to me.
Forward we go...side by side-Rest In Peace
Join Date: Jun 2002
Location: Serene In Dixie
Posts: 36,740
I am glad to see you are working towards a better way
of living!
And...each member here is of value..regardles of the number of post.
If you find a members share offensive,
you can contact me or any other mod.
Simply hit the button on the bottom left to report a post.
You can also block another member from your view by
using the ignore member feature.
Look under the members profile for the Buddy/Ignore line.
Keep in focus...
of living!
And...each member here is of value..regardles of the number of post.
If you find a members share offensive,
you can contact me or any other mod.
Simply hit the button on the bottom left to report a post.
You can also block another member from your view by
using the ignore member feature.
Look under the members profile for the Buddy/Ignore line.
Keep in focus...
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Nov 2006
Location: Here
Posts: 8
Originally Posted by CarolD
If you find a members share offensive,
you can contact me or any other mod.
you can contact me or any other mod.
Member
Join Date: Nov 2006
Location: Toronto, Canada
Posts: 257
Originally Posted by earlybird
I think its very irresponsible to tell this person,...a person who admits to drinking 4 days a week,...all day long,.....who is already obviously concerned about his own drinking, and has been unemployed for over 2 years and is denying that his drinking has anything to do with that, that he doesnt have a drinking problem. How can you say that? And being on the verge of a serious drinking problem doesnt exist. Either you are or you arent. You dont go from zero to 60 in this disease. You should know as well as anyone that when an alcoholic is on the verge of maybe finding some recovery, it is soooo easy for them to pull their head back into their turtleshell with the first "You're not an alcoholic" opinion. Very irresponsible in my opinion.
if you dont like what I have to say, DONT respond to my posts, because quite frankly what you "think" means NOTHING to me
it is a free country and I will say what I want, when I want, to who I want and however I want and there is NOTHING you can do about it.
noone is forcing him to drink or not drink with their opinions, and just because I may have a different opinion does not give you the right to junp on me
so why dont you get off my back alright?
Forward we go...side by side-Rest In Peace
Join Date: Jun 2002
Location: Serene In Dixie
Posts: 36,740
If you find a members share offensive,
you can contact me or any other mod.
Simply hit the button on the bottom left to report a post.
You can also block another member from your view by
using the ignore member feature.
Look under the members profile for the Buddy/Ignore line.
you can contact me or any other mod.
Simply hit the button on the bottom left to report a post.
You can also block another member from your view by
using the ignore member feature.
Look under the members profile for the Buddy/Ignore line.
Thanks!
Follow Directions!
Join Date: Nov 2006
Location: Fredericksburg, Va.
Posts: 9,730
shellfly I can save you a lot of trouble in determining if you are an alcoholic or not.
Here is the test, when you drink your last drink of the day only drink half of it, do not throw it away or pour it out untli the next morning. If you do this successfully for a week straight then IMO you probably are not an alcoholic.
I am an alcoholic, and I can tell you right now that if I decided to have a drink this very second it would be finished, why not finish it, I have thrown my sobriety away along with my happiness.
When I was drinking I was always amazed to see people get up and leave with a half a drink still on the bar, what a waste!!!!! If I was drinking beer the mug was dry, if I was drinking Jack on the rocks even the rocks were gone.
When you drink do you ever leave any in the bottle/glass?
A good alcoholic never does unless he is dared to!
You know no one ever has said when they are little "I want to grow up and be an alcoholic!", yet here I am, a 53 year old alcoholic who has been sober less then a year since I turned 13. Please think now and give your self a better life then I have had.
Here is the test, when you drink your last drink of the day only drink half of it, do not throw it away or pour it out untli the next morning. If you do this successfully for a week straight then IMO you probably are not an alcoholic.
I am an alcoholic, and I can tell you right now that if I decided to have a drink this very second it would be finished, why not finish it, I have thrown my sobriety away along with my happiness.
When I was drinking I was always amazed to see people get up and leave with a half a drink still on the bar, what a waste!!!!! If I was drinking beer the mug was dry, if I was drinking Jack on the rocks even the rocks were gone.
When you drink do you ever leave any in the bottle/glass?
A good alcoholic never does unless he is dared to!
You know no one ever has said when they are little "I want to grow up and be an alcoholic!", yet here I am, a 53 year old alcoholic who has been sober less then a year since I turned 13. Please think now and give your self a better life then I have had.
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