Steve58

I dont know why, maybe its the weather, maybe its the guilt of knowing I have not been doing a real good job of staying away from alcohol, I dont know. Feel very sad and depressed, like I just want to cry. I feel like drinking, but I cant today, due to work, so I'm good til at least tonight. I have a date to go running tomorrow, that usually keeps be strait the night before.

I see a lot of us talk about lonely, I guess thats what it is, I feel very alone. 9 out of 10 times, thats when I fall, when I feel suddenly empty and alone. I really shouldnt feel this way, I have a wonderful wife, we just dont see enought of each other, or maybe it's that she doesnt know about my struggle with the beast. I would like to see more of my boys, it makes me sad to know they are growing up without me in their life on a daily basis.

I know I cant keep doing this, even though the last few nights were only a few drinks, there it is, hanging over my head, only a matter of time before I go off the deep end again.

Sorry to ramble at ya'll, I feel better now that I have shared. I'll try to hold it together today, and hope for a better tomorrow.

Thanks for listening!

S

CarolD

Just don't drink today Steve

And you know AA is my solution
for sobriety and support.

HopeInFaith

I feel you Steve. I have been thinking today (probably because I got drunk last night) about why I drink. And usually it's because I'm out of town on business - away from my husband - working late - and lonely. It seems that is what it boils down to. I like to escape - and as much as I try to tell myself that I'm going to keep it under control, and only have a drink with dinner...it ends up being too many drinks ...too late...and too much guilt...and like you - I keep wondering when will it end - and what is that bottom going to look like...and how is it possible that the choices I've made so far haven't been enough of a bottom for me?

Mercedes1

Steve, I feel the same way. When I feel lonely, empty is when I ALWAYS fall. Problem is now it is more that then not. I asked this on another thread when this ends.

Steve58

Feeling a little better, I may make it through, the urges have passed, at least for the moment. Dont know where all that stuff came from earlier in the day, but I hope it stays away.

I hope you all have a wonderful evening!

S