Sponsor
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Aug 2017
Location: Scotland
Posts: 3,837
Hi Folks.
I just wanted to quickly update you all on how things have progressed. I had a bit of a difficult time on Saturday, deciding not to go to a f to f AA meeting in my town ( I wrote quite a lot about this on another thread.) I really struggled with the decision as I wasn't sure if I was doing the right thing.
I definitely feel more comfortable with it now. I have joined an AA online meeting and have my next one tonight. I really enjoyed it and was surprised by how easy it was to do. We talked about Step 3 and personal understandings of HP, which I found really interesting. I'm going to carry on with this and possibly start some online addictions counselling too.
Some one on SR has also very kindly offered to help me start working through the steps, so we have arranged to talk weekly as I work through the material and the process. I feel really positve and excited by having a program in place and I think it's the making of a good recovery plan. I just need to add to exercising and well-being stuff as I know I'm lacking in that.
Any advice on getting started is always much appreciated and I'm just really happy to come and share how things are going with you all. Rachel xx
I just wanted to quickly update you all on how things have progressed. I had a bit of a difficult time on Saturday, deciding not to go to a f to f AA meeting in my town ( I wrote quite a lot about this on another thread.) I really struggled with the decision as I wasn't sure if I was doing the right thing.
I definitely feel more comfortable with it now. I have joined an AA online meeting and have my next one tonight. I really enjoyed it and was surprised by how easy it was to do. We talked about Step 3 and personal understandings of HP, which I found really interesting. I'm going to carry on with this and possibly start some online addictions counselling too.
Some one on SR has also very kindly offered to help me start working through the steps, so we have arranged to talk weekly as I work through the material and the process. I feel really positve and excited by having a program in place and I think it's the making of a good recovery plan. I just need to add to exercising and well-being stuff as I know I'm lacking in that.
Any advice on getting started is always much appreciated and I'm just really happy to come and share how things are going with you all. Rachel xx
Guest
Join Date: Aug 2015
Location: Atlanta
Posts: 8,674
Glad you are starting in some fashion...I would gently suggest that Step one is really where to start. My mind wanted to jump ahead to but it is essential to truly accept the very first premise of AA before going any further.
If they are available, Newcomers Meetings and 12 Step meetings are great places many of us start with IRL.
A suggestion Your SR friend may have that I definitely make is to read and gain understanding of the first 164 pg of the B.B. There is a lot of context and even historical info (like the actual names of people beyond the "titles" or characters, if you will). And, you will find the meat of the program. A sponsor ideally has knowledge of all this, sufficient to lead you through. I have kept that foundation as part of my daily routine- for example, I read p84-88(as well as 417-418) every morning.
Also...there is a lot of "AA terminology" and many acronyms and sayings. I certainly didn't get hem all at first and even still hear new ones. Ask what someone means on here or after a mtg and someone will probably be happy to explain.
Keep us posted!
If they are available, Newcomers Meetings and 12 Step meetings are great places many of us start with IRL.
A suggestion Your SR friend may have that I definitely make is to read and gain understanding of the first 164 pg of the B.B. There is a lot of context and even historical info (like the actual names of people beyond the "titles" or characters, if you will). And, you will find the meat of the program. A sponsor ideally has knowledge of all this, sufficient to lead you through. I have kept that foundation as part of my daily routine- for example, I read p84-88(as well as 417-418) every morning.
Also...there is a lot of "AA terminology" and many acronyms and sayings. I certainly didn't get hem all at first and even still hear new ones. Ask what someone means on here or after a mtg and someone will probably be happy to explain.
Keep us posted!
Member
Join Date: Apr 2012
Location: northern michigan. not the U.P.
Posts: 15,281
good on ya, rachel!
Any advice on getting started
welp, im certain whoever is helpin guide ya will start where we all should- at the beginning.
things could be confusing and ya may get boggled up with it all. if that is happening i find it is actually a good thing in that it shows you wanting to learn and understand. sometimes the stuff just has to come when we are ready to "get it."
ask questions- make whoever is helpin earn combat pay.
and dont drink even if your ass falls off.
Any advice on getting started
welp, im certain whoever is helpin guide ya will start where we all should- at the beginning.
things could be confusing and ya may get boggled up with it all. if that is happening i find it is actually a good thing in that it shows you wanting to learn and understand. sometimes the stuff just has to come when we are ready to "get it."
ask questions- make whoever is helpin earn combat pay.
and dont drink even if your ass falls off.
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Aug 2017
Location: Scotland
Posts: 3,837
Originally Posted by August252015 
Glad you are starting in some fashion...I would gently suggest that Step one is really where to start. My mind wanted to jump ahead to but it is essential to truly accept the very first premise of AA before going any further.
If they are available, Newcomers Meetings and 12 Step meetings are great places many of us start with IRL.
A suggestion Your SR friend may have that I definitely make is to read and gain understanding of the first 164 pg of the B.B. There is a lot of context and even historical info (like the actual names of people beyond the "titles" or characters, if you will). And, you will find the meat of the program. A sponsor ideally has knowledge of all this, sufficient to lead you through. I have kept that foundation as part of my daily routine- for example, I read p84-88(as well as 417-418) every morning.
Also...there is a lot of "AA terminology" and many acronyms and sayings. I certainly didn't get hem all at first and even still hear new ones. Ask what someone means on here or after a mtg and someone will probably be happy to explain.
Keep us posted!
If they are available, Newcomers Meetings and 12 Step meetings are great places many of us start with IRL.
A suggestion Your SR friend may have that I definitely make is to read and gain understanding of the first 164 pg of the B.B. There is a lot of context and even historical info (like the actual names of people beyond the "titles" or characters, if you will). And, you will find the meat of the program. A sponsor ideally has knowledge of all this, sufficient to lead you through. I have kept that foundation as part of my daily routine- for example, I read p84-88(as well as 417-418) every morning.
Also...there is a lot of "AA terminology" and many acronyms and sayings. I certainly didn't get hem all at first and even still hear new ones. Ask what someone means on here or after a mtg and someone will probably be happy to explain.
Keep us posted!
We have our first meeting about step 1 on Monday and I want to take it slow, so I understand to the best of my ability. I'll have a look around the online meeting to see if there are meetings specifically for newcomers too. Thanks for the tips on reading. I had read some of the BB but I'm starting everything from scratch and I like the idea of daily re-reading too xx
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Aug 2017
Location: Scotland
Posts: 3,837
Originally Posted by tomsteve
good on ya, rachel!
Any advice on getting started
welp, im certain whoever is helpin guide ya will start where we all should- at the beginning.
things could be confusing and ya may get boggled up with it all. if that is happening i find it is actually a good thing in that it shows you wanting to learn and understand. sometimes the stuff just has to come when we are ready to "get it."
ask questions- make whoever is helpin earn combat pay.
and dont drink even if your ass falls off.
Any advice on getting started
welp, im certain whoever is helpin guide ya will start where we all should- at the beginning.
things could be confusing and ya may get boggled up with it all. if that is happening i find it is actually a good thing in that it shows you wanting to learn and understand. sometimes the stuff just has to come when we are ready to "get it."
ask questions- make whoever is helpin earn combat pay.
and dont drink even if your ass falls off.
Thanks TS. I am trusting the process, cause at this stage is a scary prospect to creep towards those challenging steps ahead. I'm done trying to figure it all out and I'm taking that as the best sign that I'm actually ready to start learning......and I love to learn! Shame I didn't learn that I needed to stop drinking sooner, but hey ho! We all have our time 
Member
Join Date: Apr 2012
Location: northern michigan. not the U.P.
Posts: 15,281
We all have our time
amen to that!!
i had to go through what i had to go through to get to where i am.
my past has a lot of valuable lessons in it- lessons of what DOESNT work for the majority. at least before i got sober. still have some lessons of what doesnt work since i got sober because, believe it or not, im still human.
amen to that!!
i had to go through what i had to go through to get to where i am.
my past has a lot of valuable lessons in it- lessons of what DOESNT work for the majority.
at least before i got sober. still have some lessons of what doesnt work since i got sober because, believe it or not, im still human. Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Aug 2017
Location: Scotland
Posts: 3,837
Originally Posted by tomsteve
We all have our time
amen to that!!
i had to go through what i had to go through to get to where i am.
my past has a lot of valuable lessons in it- lessons of what DOESNT work for the majority. at least before i got sober. still have some lessons of what doesnt work since i got sober because, believe it or not, im still human.
amen to that!!
i had to go through what i had to go through to get to where i am.
my past has a lot of valuable lessons in it- lessons of what DOESNT work for the majority.
at least before i got sober. still have some lessons of what doesnt work since i got sober because, believe it or not, im still human. sorry, I missed this! Please don't destroy my illusion of you being perfect TS. My reality will never be the same! Yep, I'm doing a lot of finding out what doesn't work too. There is a lot to tick off that list but it's definitely getting shorter now. xx
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Aug 2017
Location: Scotland
Posts: 3,837
So.....I had a bit of a moment at my work and decided to take a few days off. Having a bit of time has helped me realise a few things:
1) Not attending f to f meetings has been the product of my ego making me feel like I'm too unique to go and ask for help. I was so relived last week to get supportive comments about not needing to go ( and I really appreciate the comments and the support!) but there was a niggling feeling that I'm full of ****. I'm still scared but I'm gonna give it a go.
2) Online isn't gonna work for me because a big part of my issues is things remaining hidden. Compartmenalising my addiction as separate from the 'real' me but that it just bare faced denial and I don't want to be in denial anymore. The biggest step I can take in my Step 1 work is seeing that for what it is and choosing for my choices to be based on what will help me progress in recovery, no support my self-deception. Plus, I need to meet some new, sober real-life people to talk too, in person!
I've had mental health issues and eating disorders that have also been part of that remaining hidden. I don't want to be hidden anymore.
I have also decided to reduce my work hours to support my recovery. Money is just money. I can't invest what I need to while I'm working so much and exhausted all the time. It has just felt like a catalogue of failure and I'm done with that. If it doesn't support my health then it's out. I'm done with being like this.
Thank you for all your continued support. The 12-step group has been so helpful in really understanding what can be achieved through the steps, the spiritual transformation, but it won't happen unless I up my game. Rach xxx
1) Not attending f to f meetings has been the product of my ego making me feel like I'm too unique to go and ask for help. I was so relived last week to get supportive comments about not needing to go ( and I really appreciate the comments and the support!) but there was a niggling feeling that I'm full of ****. I'm still scared but I'm gonna give it a go.
2) Online isn't gonna work for me because a big part of my issues is things remaining hidden. Compartmenalising my addiction as separate from the 'real' me but that it just bare faced denial and I don't want to be in denial anymore. The biggest step I can take in my Step 1 work is seeing that for what it is and choosing for my choices to be based on what will help me progress in recovery, no support my self-deception. Plus, I need to meet some new, sober real-life people to talk too, in person!
I've had mental health issues and eating disorders that have also been part of that remaining hidden. I don't want to be hidden anymore.
I have also decided to reduce my work hours to support my recovery. Money is just money. I can't invest what I need to while I'm working so much and exhausted all the time. It has just felt like a catalogue of failure and I'm done with that. If it doesn't support my health then it's out. I'm done with being like this.
Thank you for all your continued support. The 12-step group has been so helpful in really understanding what can be achieved through the steps, the spiritual transformation, but it won't happen unless I up my game. Rach xxx
Member
Join Date: May 2012
Location: canada
Posts: 7,242
wow, Rachel, sounds like great clarity there on your motives for doing /not doing.
that kind of honest appraisal has always been a relief to me to acknowledge, and esp. to share with a trusted person...my sponsor person in situations like this.
yes, you go!
that kind of honest appraisal has always been a relief to me to acknowledge, and esp. to share with a trusted person...my sponsor person in situations like this.
yes, you go!
Guest
Join Date: Aug 2015
Location: Atlanta
Posts: 8,674
Rachel, love to hear all that and I a man proud of you. Hiding and isolationism as well as eating disorders are all familiar to me.
You also explicitly addressed something I believe is critical- the willingness to go any lengths to get and stay sober, putting recovery first. Real life choices about things like work can seem "impossible" to change but IME it is crucial not to rule out anything we think or try to con ourselves into believing is a can't.
Stay with us and keep going. You have he makings of a strong recovery program in you.
You also explicitly addressed something I believe is critical- the willingness to go any lengths to get and stay sober, putting recovery first. Real life choices about things like work can seem "impossible" to change but IME it is crucial not to rule out anything we think or try to con ourselves into believing is a can't.
Stay with us and keep going. You have he makings of a strong recovery program in you.
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Aug 2017
Location: Scotland
Posts: 3,837
Originally Posted by fini
wow, Rachel, sounds like great clarity there on your motives for doing /not doing.
that kind of honest appraisal has always been a relief to me to acknowledge, and esp. to share with a trusted person...my sponsor person in situations like this.
yes, you go!
that kind of honest appraisal has always been a relief to me to acknowledge, and esp. to share with a trusted person...my sponsor person in situations like this.
yes, you go!
Just need a big dose of courage now! Speaking to my manager on Tuesday and then meeting on Wednesday.
Whew.....changes are a foot
It's like breaking through a psychological dam xx
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Aug 2017
Location: Scotland
Posts: 3,837
Originally Posted by August252015
Rachel, love to hear all that and I a man proud of you. Hiding and isolationism as well as eating disorders are all familiar to me.
You also explicitly addressed something I believe is critical- the willingness to go any lengths to get and stay sober, putting recovery first. Real life choices about things like work can seem "impossible" to change but IME it is crucial not to rule out anything we think or try to con ourselves into believing is a can't.
Stay with us and keep going. You have he makings of a strong recovery program in you.
You also explicitly addressed something I believe is critical- the willingness to go any lengths to get and stay sober, putting recovery first. Real life choices about things like work can seem "impossible" to change but IME it is crucial not to rule out anything we think or try to con ourselves into believing is a can't.
Stay with us and keep going. You have he makings of a strong recovery program in you.
It's typical really, lots of wanting with little sacrifice! I'm hoping this might actually turn into a far more pleasurable day to day life. I need to work on just being really honest, with myself and others. I'm just done pretending everything is ok. I hope you have had a great Sunday
Guest
Join Date: Aug 2015
Location: Atlanta
Posts: 8,674
Making the change is hard and weird and lots of things all at once, and at first. Gradually, my life has become one with a backdrop of recovery. It is my way of life and is he most rewarding, real, exceptional one I can imagine. And you are spot on with the honesty- it is key to acceptance and this whole sobriety and recovery thing.
Just remember that if you ever wonder if you could use IRL, you can find it (and IME it never hurts to have a sounding board, sober Friends, good therapist, yoga teacher...).
Take care.
Just remember that if you ever wonder if you could use IRL, you can find it (and IME it never hurts to have a sounding board, sober Friends, good therapist, yoga teacher...).
Take care.
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Aug 2017
Location: Scotland
Posts: 3,837
Originally Posted by August252015
Making the change is hard and weird and lots of things all at once, and at first. Gradually, my life has become one with a backdrop of recovery. It is my way of life and is he most rewarding, real, exceptional one I can imagine. And you are spot on with the honesty- it is key to acceptance and this whole sobriety and recovery thing.
Just remember that if you ever wonder if you could use IRL, you can find it (and IME it never hurts to have a sounding board, sober Friends, good therapist, yoga teacher...).
Take care.
Just remember that if you ever wonder if you could use IRL, you can find it (and IME it never hurts to have a sounding board, sober Friends, good therapist, yoga teacher...).
Take care.
Currently Active Users Viewing this Thread: 1 (0 members and 1 guests)
