Tommyh

locally we had a 31 year old gal od and die last thursday
this week,one of my friends step daughter od`ed twice and nearly died both times.She is currently in the hospital under lockdown

they got to drinking which,in their case lead to drugging too
people are dying all around us

carry the message!

sugarbear1

Funerals around me, too. Sad.

My alcoholism wants me dead, too. I work the steps.

August252015

Oh yes indeed. In addition to my own absolutely dedicated AA program, and being in the restaurant business, I also lead a non-AA, non-NA recovery program for folks struggling in F&B - from famous folks like Anthony Bourdain to local bartenders here in Atlanta....there is a movement towards recovery, mental health awareness, etc, but there are so many people we are losing.

In AA as well, at just my 28 mo and change, I have seen plenty of folks lost - either going back out for more research or ODing.

Gottalife

A huge number of alcoholics die from misadventure. 7 out of my rehab group all died that way. Fights, fires, crashes. It doesn’t always get put down to alcoholism either. I spent time with a man who had relapsed after many years sober. He crashed his car while intoxicated. Took him three months to die. Cause of death, broken neck, lung infection, thrombosis of the legs, brain damage. Not a word about alcoholism. None of these folks intentionally took their own lives.

Yet I also have seen terribly sad instances where sober alcoholics have intentionally taken their own lives. Shot themselves, hung themselves, old and young. A terrible illness, alcoholism. We sometimes have a moment of silence at the start of the meeting for the alcoholic who still suffers. Sometimes it might just be the person standing next to you. Alcoholism kills, sober and drunk.

August252015

One thing I hope to see more of is obituaries being more than beyond vague when it is well known that the deceased was an alcoholic or addict. Telling the truth is really important as far as fighting addiction goes.

SoberCAH

Alcoholism yields a dichotomy of results.

Miracles on one hand, tragedies on the other, and very little in between.

I really like Sugarbear1's comment that "my alcoholism wants me dead."

That's a great reminder for me.

Grungehead

I just found out a couple of days ago that a good friend I used to party a lot with prior to getting sober died in 2014. I got sober in 2013 and hadn't been in touch with him since then. I'm not sure how he died exactly, but he was only 50 and the obituary said that he had passed away "tragically". It was kind of a shock to me at first but then the reality hit that more than likely the disease had taken him too.

Me and his older brother were best friends from high school up until I got sober for the first time in 1990 when I was 29. We drifted apart after that and I hadn't heard from him until his brother called me out of the blue one day in 2002 to let me know he had passed away. He also passed away "tragically" when he drowned while out fishing.

ScottFromWI

I don't think a weekend passes around here where there isn't at least one death due to alcohol just from traffic accidents alone. "Speed and alcohol were probable factors" is written far to often.

Pathwaytofree

This is so well said, and I agree with it 100%.

It'll help to fight the stigma if people were just honest, and stopped all the secrets. We need to bring it out into the light.

Pathwaytofree

People don't realize that this disease is ruthless.

Beautifully and simply stated.
I remember hearing early on in AA "My alcoholism wants me dead, but it'll settle for me drunk".

Pathwaytofree

Thanks Tommy. It's a sad and unfortunate reminder to stay vigilant about the thinking before the first drink....that strange mental blank spot gets us all the time.

tomsteve

i personally dont think that would help anything. yes, they died from alcoholism. however, respect for the dead is a good thing.
how many alcoholics read the obits, anyways.

https://www.soberrecovery.com/forums...bit-angry.html (sad news that has me a wee bit angry)

i would have been disgusted if his family decided to say in his obit how he died.

Pathwaytofree

Tomsteve,

I reread your post. :-( I hope you go on rides to honor Thom's memory.

You're right about the obituary. Thanks for helping me see it in a different light.

But I still wonder if there was an empathetic way the OB's could be written. To show the world that alcoholism & addiction are real illnesses that are truly hard to fight. Write them in some way to fight the stigma.

August252015

I can see different sides to the obit thing - personally, I have read ones done by parents here (Atlanta) that were indeed well written, respectful...and honest. This can be worded in a way that doesn't misrepresent what really happened nor the person or family.

I work in the restaurant industry and I lead the Atlanta chapter of our recovery group, which is just for F&B folks. Our industry is simply rife with alcoholism and addiction. One thing we think is important is disclosure. Examples - a very well known bartender was found dead in his apt one morning about a year ago - it was broadly known he was well-liked, and direly addicted - and it was a disservice to have such a blatant omission of anything connected to it in his obit.

Also, popular food and drink festivals around the SE are ones like Charleston Food & Wine, Atlanta Food & Wine etc....two years ago there was a huge article in the Atlanta paper, Sun morning after the AFW wrapped up. The lead and bulk of the piece (front page after the fold then continued) focused on the whiskey tasting ....no mention of the FOUR chefs/F&B folks who died from alcohol related things that night.

I feel strongly that honesty is the best policy. This disease kills. And any family or group or friend or compassionate reporter or....that can use a loss to shed light on our disease in hopes of helping others....is brave, and doing the exact right thing.

A lot of alcoholics I know definitely read obits, even if its because someone - probably like me, who has a decently prominent role in working for recovery in the restaurant world - shared it via our social media, PM, whatever.

My public sharing of my recovery - and things like our founder's (and owner of the prominent SE restaurant group I work for) being featured in pubs from local and regional magazines, podcasts, online news sources....to CNN.com ... keep the reality of what addiction does in the public eye. His approach, mine, the other two board members of Ben's Friends, our group, isn't for everyone, but I have no doubt that people are helped by the fact that it is for us.

Milo09116

And the message that will produce real recovery and real peace is that God loves you and through His Son, He wants to free you (John 8:36). The goal of recovery is to thrive OUTSIDE of the rooms, not just in them. And for me, living a Christian life is far more encompassing than living just a sober life and far more rewarding. The aa program talks of a higher power that in many cases bears no resemblance to the God of the Scriptures and that's both unfurtunate and a real problem. Folks are putting restraints on their higher power because so many know nothing about Him and frankly most of those don't bother trying. Pick up the biggest book and learn who God is. John

SoberCAH

Where I live, we have a lot of lakes and rivers, which can be quite unforgiving for drunks.

We have a staggering amount of drownings.

Several in the last week alone.

Plenty of late night boat wrecks also.

I suspect that alcohol plays a role in many of these tragic instances.

daredevil

People are dying from all sorts of things, self-induced and otherwise. In other countries, where survival itself is paramount, our disease would be considered, at best, a luxury.