Gottalife

The term drug of choice never sounded quite right to me, something of an oxymoron. Then I was listening to a speaker recording today and realised I have quite a few drugs of choice. He mentioned a lot of stuff I hadn't heard of, but a few came to mind as my "drugs of choice".

There was Ativan, LSD, daytura, cannibis, amytryptiline, horse tranquilizer, and probably one or two others I cant remember.
The reason I list them as drugs of choice is that I had the power of choice over them. One or two I tried or was prescribed, and I chose not to continue, and all the others I chose not to even try.

On the otherhand, Alcohol was my drug of "NO" choice. I chose on many occasions not to drink it, but ended up drunk anyway. My choices and desires in this regard were ineffectual. I made the right choice but lacked the power to carry it out. The problem was solved via the AA program where I found the power to live sober and the drink problem was removed. The concept of choice became redundant.

SoberCAH

Well put, Gotta.

Sometime early on, I certainly lost the power to choose to not drink alcohol.

Tommyh

I am powerless over alcohol,but I did do many drugs
lsd which we called acid,pot,Valiums,Quaaludes, those old 714`s,animal tranquilizers,speed,downers,coke,and anything else I could get.Shot up a lot of cocaine too
but I choose to do that and I could choose to not do it
not so with alcohol,I choose to not drink many times and drank anyway

I am not a addict,just a alcoholic.The drugs was part of my alcoholism as I see it.

jrspinks

It's all an addiction like anything else, it's just being ok and happy with you're Sober self. I do think it's difficult, was always more entertaining or to just escape into something else and or ignore reality stuff.

Ken33xx

It didn't matter I abused both alcohol as well as drugs.

Alcohol brought me down but it could have just as easily been drugs if I had the money.

Booze was always readily available and socially acceptable and I could easily afford to get smashed.

paulokes

I always think having addiction to various different substances makes the problem, and definition of the problem much harder for some folks.

If Coke is as destructive in your life as booze...does that make you less of an alcoholic? If booze is at the centre, but there are several other substances in the mix how do you make sense of that and share your experience in am AA or N.A. meeting?

Luckily these are outside my experience...booze was the problem and my relationship with AA is pretty uncomplicated. I think I have some sympathy thigh for why people would describe themselves as Addicts, people with addictive personalities, or that they had several problems with one main 'Drug of Choice.

On that note...I think I'll slowly back away from the rest of the conversation

P

CAPTAINZING2000

I was completely powerless over my drinking .
I abused all forms of drugs but, I never actually felt I was addicted.
Living at a time when most of us did in late 60’s and 70’s if drugs were involved, alcohol was there as well.

The effects from drinking for me personally was worse then any drug. There wasn’t anything worse then the blackouts from my drinking. At least when using drugs, I still had a sense of reality. It frightens me today of the fact, I was the walking dead during many of my drinking binges

dwtbd

I used to love , l-o-v-e, getting intoxicated, booze was always easiest . Using most all intoxicating substances comes with their own ‘unique’ conditions and circumstances. Intoxication is corrosive mentally, spiritually and physically.
Eschewing self intoxication is possible and necessary to stop the corrosion, the pain of never getting a buzz , ever again , is illusory, there is no actual pain of stopping the corrosion.
Addiction is insidious but can be temporary and finite, it can be ended, kudos to everyone who has Quit.

Ken33xx

The two vices I had no problem quitting were gambling and smoking. Lost money early in life while gambling and never did it again.

Smoking? I got tired of waking up to the smell of tobacco in my apartment and on my clothes. So one day I just stopped.

MindfulMan

I dislike that AA is solely about alcohol. Alcohol is a drug. Addiction is addiction. I think the separation is arbitrary and archaic. CA accepts all addictions, including the behavioral ones.

There was nothing quite like that perfect storm of misery that is coke, vodka and cigarettes.

Gottalife

Yup, it has been an issue for me too, for different reasons. I am an alcoholic, not an addict, I suffered from alcoholism, not addiction. In my experience the two things are very different.

I respect the AA tradition because all this has been tried by groups before and they have always failed. Today, the AA door is not shut to everyone. Open meetings abound and all are welcome, however AA is very clear that AA membership cannot be offered to non-alcoholics. The AA program on the other hand, has been made freely available to any who want it.

Through the open meetings I got to meet a lot of addicts who come to AA because they didn't like the way NA was running. They like the relative stability and experience that can be found more readily in an AA meeting. We talked about working the steps together, which is fairly common ground after we get past identification.

I even looked into starting All Addictions Anonymous, which is probably even broader than CA's "mind altering subtances" third tradition restriction. In the end it came down to the fact that my DONC was different to theirs, in fact the whole culture was different, my world was entirely different and when I hear addicts identifying, and identification is absolutely fundamental to 12 step success, they might as well be speaking chinese. They use different substances for different reasons and none of it makes any sense to me. Hence I am absolutely useless when it comes to the very first fundamental element of winning a person's confidence, identification.

Like the hard drinker in AA who gets up in the morning and chooses not to drink, I have the power of choice in all these other substances, and I chose not to take them. I never had that choice with alcohol.

EliL

If it hadn't have been alcohol it would have been something else. Difference is i would have made the post in the NA part of the site, or maybe OA, or maybe GA. Then come over to the AA part. Then who knows.

DayTrader

I hear ya Gotta -

I did a fair amount of coke and a lot of extasy........not to mention just about any Rx drug I could get my hands on that I thought would make me feel better. Did a lot of drinking too. At a point though, I figured I should stop the coke - and I stopped. Figured it was time to chill on the X..... and I did. Then thought the drinking should be in my past but I couldn't walk away from it, not for long anyway. Stuck with the anti depressants too but, and it was tough, but I gave em up.......but kept on drinking - almost seemed like it was against my will at times.

Drug user, sure... I was. I'm not a real addict though.
Drinker, yup... sure was. That I almost always had the compulsion to drink more once I started AND that I couldn't walk away from it on my own no matter what I tried qualifies me as an alcoholic.

There's as big a difference between someone with a drinking problem and an alcoholic as the is between me (a drug user/abuser) and a real addict. I don't even entertain the use of the word "choice" when it comes to booze. There's no choice TO drink nor is there a choice NOT to drink.

Gottalife

Same experience here. I lost the power of choice in drink and I never got it back - either way. The Big Book of AA is full of promises, yet regaining the power of choice is not one of them.

tomsteve

must be a whole lot of other places ya dislike,too.

tire stores dont repair tv's
jewelers dont repair roofs.
computer techs dont do brakes.
oncologists dont treat heart problems.
dentists dont treat back problems.
neurologists dont treat skin conditions.
psychologists dont treat liver conditions.


shoemaker, stick to thy last.

Alcohol is a drug. Addiction is addiction.
seems NA would be a good fit for ya.

a simple solution for people that complain about how AA is:
put pen to paper,write a book, start a new recovery program.
theres room for it and its needed.

or

start an all addictions anonymous meeting in your area.

http://www.alladdictionsanonymous.org

DayTrader

lmao. it seems youve had a glimpse into how i think from time to time.

don't those places know if they ran things they way I know they should, everyone would be happier?

DayTrader

Someone reminded me once -

Even IF I think I get the choice back after really taking the first step, there's that pesky 3rd step where I turn my will (and what is my will, if not my choices) over to the care of God because my management of it (them - will and choice) has proved to be disastrous in the long haul.

Pagekeeper

There's a certain old timer in my home group who finds it necessary to remind me that we have a choice in whether we drink or not. Every time I share my experience with having lost the power of choice in drinking, he is sure to share right after me and correct me on it. I'd be lying if I said it didn't annoy me. I know my reaction is my responsibility, but sometimes I'd really like to tell him to shut up.

Gottalife

Hi Pagekeeper. He might have a choice, he may be different to you or me. Perhaps he would like to exercise that choice in a way different to how he has so far. If he is like me, he may find that choice is an illusion. in reality, no choice at all, because there may very likely be no opportunity to reverse a wrong choice.

I have been meaning to say how much I like your avatar. Anonymous, mysterious and beautiful.

CAPTAINZING2000

Perhaps, we did have a choice on the first drink but, all bets were off after the first drink.

I even tried going to the bars with enough money for one or two drinks on me. Next thing I knew, old friends would magically appear and I’d find myself leaving at closing time