CaiHong

I
Currently I am staying in a beautiful rehab Centre in the countryside as a volunteer. I adore this place and the people here and have decided to stay on indefinitely, I have also been offered paid work in the future when there are more guests.
I have never been in a rehab myself and I am certain if I had had the money I certainly would have booked into one early in sobriety.
AA got me sober and for that I will be forever grateful.
Now they have a program here that believes once you get to the psychological cause of your drinking all will be well. That may be, I can only speak from my own experience. Yesterday after talking with one of the sets here who has attended AA meetings we decided to have a meeting with the approval of the psychologist another guest also attended.
OK finally to my dilemma, I found myself getting very angry with one of the residents as he explained step four, this guy has never done the steps neither has he any understanding of them, I pointed this out to him and after the meeting told him I felt angry during the meeting and left it at that.
I am reluctant to participate in another meeting as I feel there is not a level playing field as they are paying guests, I am a volunteer who hopes to be employed here. They go on a bit about other people's addictions and I feel should concentrate on their own and realize the seriousness of alcoholism.
Should I challenge them during meetings and stress the importance of the steps and the program or just let it go.
Any advice would be appreciated
CaiHong

tomsteve

good on ya for doing what your doing!

as for this
Any advice would be appreciated

couple things come to mind, one being
-wouldnt have gotten far if people didnt care enough to call me on my BS, usually done after a meeting
-challenging them....hhmmmmm. im not sure what is meant by that, but maybe more of trying to get them to question their own opinions and thoughts?
-i am thinking about the preamble- Alcoholics Anonymous is a fellowship of men and women who share their experience, strength and hope with each other that they may solve their common problem and help others to recover from alcoholism.
-what would your higher power want you to do?
- 10th step- check the motives.

ive known a couple people that worked at rehabs. something common amongst them is they all had to get to a point of accepting many people in rehab arent truly ready-yet.
if anything, a seed can be planted.

SoberCAH

"Now they have a program here that believes once you get to the psychological cause of your drinking all will be well."

I just pursue a daily relationship with God all day long and work the steps each day, go to meetings, read our literature, etc.

And all is well with me.

Some days are considerably more challenging than others, but i follow the above regimen, so I am okay.

I don't know much about working in treatment centers, but i admire your efforts.

So i wouldn't know how hard you should push in excess of sharing your own ESH and letting them see the successful results in your life.

Please keep us updated on this effort.

You are certainly doing important work.

Gottalife

Rehabs seem to have their own vibe. Probably people are there for all sorts of reasons. Some might even want to get sober. And they may have their own ideas on how that can be accomplished.

Ou big book is pretty clear on this. If someone thinks they can do it a different way, we encourage them to follow their conscience. I wasn't too well when they locked me up in rehab. Delusions of grandeur, an ego the size of a house, and opinion on everything, yet I knew nothing about anything. Just ask me, I have the answer for everything, except how to keep myself sober of course.

I kept my mouth shut in my early meetings. On the rare occasions I did speak, I shudder to think what garbage spewed forth. But the group was tolerant.

As far as you situation goes CaiHong, I have no doubt your motives are good, and that you carry a powerful message. There will be one or two in the rehab seriously interested in recovery. They will be very interested in your example. It won't take them long to work our for themselves who has walked the walk and who is full of it.

When I spouted forth garbage, I remember the older members just nodded and smiled and then got on with the business of carrying the message. I don't remember them ever correcting me though I am sure I must have looked like I needed a good talking to on many occasions.

All the best in your new circumstances. God put you there for a reason, and I have a feeling you can do a lot of good.

Dave42001

Sending Prayers your way!! You will figure this out!! Thinking of you today!!

Ken33xx

Simply put it depends on how much you want or need the job. Make too many waves or upset too many guests and you're out. Rehab is a business and without paying customers the doors close.

paulokes

The only way you find out what is really involved in working these steps...is by working these steps right? A strong meeting with a few recovered members works because the solution attracts people. People decide they want to opt in instead of being the odd one out.

Sounds like you are the odd one out in this situation...that's gotta be tough!
P

CaiHong

Thanks everyone for your considered replies, internet here is not as accessible as in the city, delay in replying.
The reason I am volunteering here is I like the environment and the work. If I am of help to someone on their way to living clean and sober that is great.
I have decided not to hold another meeting unless one of the guests initiates it, it has also been suggested to check out local AA meetings and I can drive interested guests there.

CaiHong

I am still at the rehab and read over my thread and the replies have proved to be very apt.
I tend to be outspoken and I am learning not to be as I see this is not helpful and people need to learn things from their own experience, I am mainly talking about management in this instance.
On a positive note AA meetings have been added to the weekly schedule.

I have settled down quite a bit and am in the process of going on staff. I don't push my ideas but tell guests early on that I am a recovering alcoholic coming up to 7 years and got sober through AA and SR. When it comes up and feels as natural as talking about the weather.
I do believe that this is a "spiritual malady ", more than ever.
As Dave pointed out it is a bit quiet around here and I would ask members if they would like to share their experiences of rehabs, if any, what worked for them.

CaiHong

fini

CaiHong,

i was never in rehab, but i did get sober without the AA program, so am familiar with some other methods.i did later join AA , when i understood what my problem really was.

and i think this is where the crux of the dilemma is/was: when you are dealing with people who believe once you get to the "psychological root" all will be well, or that once you make up your mind, all will be well, or that once xyz comes to pass all will be well: you don't have the "common problem" the BB speaks of, and therefore you do not agree on the solution.

there may in fact be the common problem, but if A is convinced her problem is x, and B is certain their problem is f, and K is sure his problem is r, then....they will not agree on a common solution.

so much depends on what we perceive the problem to be.

oops...sounds like you have figured out what your approach will be and have solved your dilemma, so i'm just sharing my musings as i read your thread.

Gottalife

Fini, I think that was true of my rehab experience, though it was a while ago. We had one AA meeting a week, always at a time when something good was on TV. Attendance was made up of two dedicated AAers who drove a long way to help us. There were about 40 or 50 Korsakovs, and about 10 or 12 end stagers close to their last chance at recovery. The two AAer's spoke, and that was it. No one else said a word.

I don't think there was anything wrong with their message. 2 or my group got the message and obviously could see the common ground. They went to AA when they left, and stayed sober.

I couldn't see it. I was 21, the old boys were 50-65. Whatever they talked about went right over my head. I completely missed the point. Didn't have the common problem sussed, so the common solution had no attraction for me. It all looked a bit mysterious actually. So I went off chasing other solutions, without any real success, though I did manage a couple of dry spells.

Later, John Barleycorn himself convinced me of the common problem, and enough of what those old boys had been saying came back to me, prompting me to try AA and the common solution. It was the answer.

SoberCAH

I went through treatment back in 1988.

I did a 28 day program in 35 days.

They must have really liked me a lot since they invited me to stay an extra week (laugh).

I was terrified when i left treatment, because my drug of choice is alcohol and it is ubiquitous.

But i followed the directions they hammered into me and have been sober ever since.

I got to go to the Betty Ford Center for a week in 2000 or 2001, because they offered to send all of the people who served on my profession's assistance program to their treatment center as guests for a week.

It was excellent.

They enthusiasm their staff demonstrated was palpable.

I spent the days participating in treatment and got to spend the nights in a nearby hotel.

It was a great mirror-imaging tune-up for me.

I have also represented an outstanding (and very ethical and honorable) local treatment center for many years.

In doing so, I have vicariously kept active in the treatment field.

I hope you find fulfillment and continued sobriety in your new job.

Congratulations on landing the job and on your sobriety.

I know you're helping a lot of people like us.

CaiHong

Thanks for your replies, this is a new rehab and and Fini described their approach to a T, if you get to the root cause the problem will disappear.
SoberCAH, I would love to know how an ethical and honourable treatment centre is run and guidelines for its implementation of a working program.
If you could perhaps steer me in the direction of treatment centres and their literature by PM I would be most grateful.
The thing is something seems not right and a number of the guests have commented on lack of a program and it seems such a patchwork of ideas hastily put together in reaction to guests complaints.
I suppose what I am looking for is to know how a successful rehab is run and is their such a thing.
Gottalife there is one young woman here and this is her 8th rehab and I get a strong feeling if she doesn't make it it could be her last chance. She attended AA before this rehab and says she loves it but I sense that she hasn't really got the program or the seriousness of her situation.
What I am also asking how can I be more effective, my duties don't involve direct activities with the guests, I feel such empathy and enjoy our interactions and doing small things for them. It's very rewarding.
thanks again for your input
CaiHong

icewater1961

The best experience I ever had was the Farley Center rehab in Williamsburg Virginia. You may want to google them. They're not hideously expensive but it is pretty fancy and they are adjacent to a psychiatric hospital. Inpatients that do not apply to the rules will be asked to leave. Food is great

Gottalife

Hi Cai Hong. Her experience is not that unusual. When I helped start a big book study meeting, some of our first customers were folk who loved the fellowship, but didn't understand why they were not getting better even after several years of meetings. Some where about to leave.

Maybe see if she wants to sit down and find out what it is she has been missing about AA. Sooner or later she will have to leave the rehab and, as you say, this may be her last chance to find out what she has to do.

MindfulMan

Inpatient rehab saved my life. I will be eternally grateful for being my first step.

I had never seriously tried to get sober before, just kind of drifted in and out of heavy drinking and drugging. In my end stage it became clear as day to me that I was an addict and I needed to stop. For a time. Rehab made me realize how bad it was and that I needed to just take alcohol and drugs off the table completely.

I got Step 1 within the first week or so. Or it got me. More like it knocked me over with a sledgehammer.

This was my first experience with rehab, and hopefully my last. Not that I didn't find the experience fascinating, it's just not one that I care to repeat. What I expected was a bunch of alcoholics that realized they needed extra help and would work it and get better. The reality was people with all sorts of addictions, including opiates, meth, cocaine, PCP etc., most of whom had been in multiple rehabs.

This facility is very 12 Step based. I had never been to a meeting before. The first night there that I actually clearly remember I went to this group and suddenly realized I was in an AA meeting.

Most of the staff were sober and had gone through some sort of 12 Step program. I ended up not finding a 12 Step fellowship my path, but I'm extremely glad that I had such an exposure to the process and was able to truly investigate. I followed inpatient rehab with an IOP that was based on cognitive group therapy. Outside 12 Step meetings were encouraged but not required. It was nicely integrated and a good way to get us back into the world. Step 2. I was very glad that I got the 12 Step approach first, I needed the humility and a true understanding of the Serenity Prayer, which is a cornerstone to my recovery, even if AA meetings are not.

Understanding the psychological causes of our drinking is but one tool in recovery. Without some sort of experiential component it is merely just an intellectual exercise. I believe in using every approach to sobriety and emphasizing the ones that work. I like rehabs that use any tool available to the addict/alcoholic. Everyone is different and everyone has a different road to recovery. The relapse rate from rehab is huge, and it's not a cure. I also like rehabs that strongly suggest and help with coming out with a specific recovery plan, whatever it is.

SoberCAH

Let me get together with you via PM later this week.

Glad you're interested.

Jim6253

I heard in a meeting "Take what you need and leave the rest." I have since applied this general principle to my interactions with other people in virtually every area of my life!

In a non selfish way of course.

CaiHong

Thankyou mindful man for sharing your experience of rehabs, I found it very useful, I spoke to the owner yesterday about this thread and the very insightful responses I have received, he said he would be very interested to read them.

Would you say that people who have gone through addiction and are in recovery are more effective that people who haven't ?
Thanks SoberCAH,
Look forward to that and thanks for taking the time.
JIm I am in the process of doing just that focusing more on the positive aspects , my personality flaws certainly get in the way of that but I practice awareness of these aspects of myself usually before I react to them.
Thanks everyone
CaiHong

CAPTAINZING2000

Trying to skim through all the posts!

I’m confused as to are there regular meetings in this rehab prior to you starting one?
In other words, is this a non AA/NA recovery rehab?

We do have to always remember it’s princ before personalities.
Through the years, there have been countless people in the past I’ve not liked personally. By the same token, I’m pretty sure there are those that haven’t cared for me as well.

There are numerous people I’ve encountered in rehabs that could parrot the big book almost word for word. Knowing the AA program and living however, is two different things.

It’s admirable for you to be devoting your life to helping others in recovery. Hopefully, you will be a positive influence on them.
Moreover through the years, many people I’ve helped never achieved sobriety. I remained sober that’s what’s important. We carry the message and not the alcoholic.

Wishing you well in your endeavors..