getting more and more nervous
Paused
Join Date: Jun 2004
Location: Washington
Posts: 5,093
Skunk suits, orange fish suits, spinach stories? I'm really confused now. 
I feel another serenity prayer coming on. I want to wish you courage and luck on Friday the 15th Moot. You'll do great. A spinach salad sounds good right about now, or does it? I haven't heard the story yet. Good luck...
I feel another serenity prayer coming on. I want to wish you courage and luck on Friday the 15th Moot. You'll do great. A spinach salad sounds good right about now, or does it? I haven't heard the story yet. Good luck...
Member
Join Date: Dec 2003
Location: Syracuse, NY
Posts: 110
Not a contest - this is a meeting for the folks inside the rehab where outsiders come to speak - they call it a "How it works" panel. I don't remember exactly how many have been on the panel, but it's been in the 7 or 8 range.
I've done it twice so far - a woman that I know primarily from Alanon conned me into it. We were talking after a meeting and I said something about needing to be up early because I was going to start morning meetings again, and she said "I've got a meeting for you - 7:30 at *". I agreed to go before understanding that it was a speaker panel and ***I*** had just agreed to be on the panel.
I was really nervous before the first time, mostly from being so high bottom and speaking to a pretty low bottom crowd. Not an issue - I've found enough in my story that resonates to speak for about 5 minutes twice now (and nothing repeated - two separate parts of my story). I'm not sure if I'm going to do it this week though - it will probably get stale if I do it every week.
The one thing that may get me back there this week is that it just feels so good - it's just like that talking to a newcomer high. Given how low I've been feeling lately, I need as much of that feeling as I can get.
I've done it twice so far - a woman that I know primarily from Alanon conned me into it. We were talking after a meeting and I said something about needing to be up early because I was going to start morning meetings again, and she said "I've got a meeting for you - 7:30 at *". I agreed to go before understanding that it was a speaker panel and ***I*** had just agreed to be on the panel.
I was really nervous before the first time, mostly from being so high bottom and speaking to a pretty low bottom crowd. Not an issue - I've found enough in my story that resonates to speak for about 5 minutes twice now (and nothing repeated - two separate parts of my story). I'm not sure if I'm going to do it this week though - it will probably get stale if I do it every week.
The one thing that may get me back there this week is that it just feels so good - it's just like that talking to a newcomer high. Given how low I've been feeling lately, I need as much of that feeling as I can get.
Member
Join Date: Jul 2004
Location: Beaver, WA
Posts: 1,346
((((((((((MootPoint :rose )))))))))
The year mark is very special time! Congrats and remember to keep breathing. LOL it sure beats the alternative. Then think about who controls your breath while sleeping.
((((((MootPoint)))))))))
Kiss Heart of Spirit In Love & Service,
Three Legs
:tri
The year mark is very special time! Congrats and remember to keep breathing. LOL it sure beats the alternative. Then think about who controls your breath while sleeping.
((((((MootPoint)))))))))
Kiss Heart of Spirit In Love & Service,
Three Legs
:tri
we're all mad here!
Thread Starter
Join Date: Apr 2003
Location: a padded room with bars
Posts: 1,681
Yeah, breathing is a GOOD thing 3legs! The first time I spoke, I didn't do that till I ran out of air 
That time, my first, was actually OK...... I spoke at a rehab. Somehow it felt OK even though I was scared to death. I'll probably be willing to speak at the rehab again.
Talia, I'm betting that there wasn't enough spinach left to make a salad
That time, my first, was actually OK...... I spoke at a rehab. Somehow it felt OK even though I was scared to death. I'll probably be willing to speak at the rehab again.
Talia, I'm betting that there wasn't enough spinach left to make a salad
Not the center of the Universe
Join Date: Jun 2004
Location: Orchard Lake, Michigan
Posts: 974
MootPoint,
First major big ups on your first birthday! I have a question: it sounds like meetings are run differently in your area. Here in Michigan, "chairing the meeting" means presiding over the opening rituals (starting the serenity prayer, announcing the readings, asking if anyone is there for their very first meeting, etc). What you are getting your courage up to do, we call an "open talk." Is this correct? I haven't been to a meeting outside of Michigan yet and I
am just curious.
Jah Bless
First major big ups on your first birthday! I have a question: it sounds like meetings are run differently in your area. Here in Michigan, "chairing the meeting" means presiding over the opening rituals (starting the serenity prayer, announcing the readings, asking if anyone is there for their very first meeting, etc). What you are getting your courage up to do, we call an "open talk." Is this correct? I haven't been to a meeting outside of Michigan yet and I
am just curious.
Jah Bless
Member
Join Date: Sep 2004
Location: Upstate New York
Posts: 46
You keep going. I think all of us have a little apprehension (or down right terror) about this sometimes. Ya know what? I came to realize that the rooms were the safest place I could talk and be me. I would NEVER mention that bottle of BV and Xanax incident out in the real world, but will always mention it to a newcomer so as to say, hey we've all done messed up things---thats why we're here. I too was sick and tired of being sick and tired. We're putting it behind us now, and all will be well if we follow some simple suggestions.
I love you posts
Meg
I love you posts
Meg
we're all mad here!
Thread Starter
Join Date: Apr 2003
Location: a padded room with bars
Posts: 1,681
finding...
during speaker/discussion meetings, and anninersaries are always speaker/discussion meetings, the secretary opens the meeting, the speaker talks, then the rest of the meeting discusses. I'll be screwing up my courage while the secretary is doing her thing. Ugh.
Meg.....
I'm going to be talking mainly to the newcomers. They need to know that you can survive and prosper after that bottle of BV or that Xanax episode.
hehehehee Yep 
during speaker/discussion meetings, and anninersaries are always speaker/discussion meetings, the secretary opens the meeting, the speaker talks, then the rest of the meeting discusses. I'll be screwing up my courage while the secretary is doing her thing. Ugh.
Meg.....
I'm going to be talking mainly to the newcomers. They need to know that you can survive and prosper after that bottle of BV or that Xanax episode.
all of us have a little apprehension (or down right terror) about this
It is what it is!!!
Join Date: Feb 2002
Location: Sobriety
Posts: 5,767
I am sure you understand this Moot. After being blessed to be around the program for a while you know the sequence of readings and stuff. Well I do mostly NA, but as the readings are being read, I get more and more nervous knowing which one is the last one before I speak. LOL
I was thinking last night about the first time I spoke, I had 6 months clean, almost to the day if I remember right. And I talked and rambled about I don't know what, but the group, my friends, the other members of the program didnt' judge me just hugged me after words and encouraged me to do it again. That is what the fellowship is all about. Sometimes I still just ramble leaving the meeting and saying to myself "that was ridiculous" LOL, and sometimes I leave the meeting and really feel like I had a message to share. It is what it is. Just remember, everyone there cares about you.
I can't wait to hear all about it.
I was thinking last night about the first time I spoke, I had 6 months clean, almost to the day if I remember right. And I talked and rambled about I don't know what, but the group, my friends, the other members of the program didnt' judge me just hugged me after words and encouraged me to do it again. That is what the fellowship is all about. Sometimes I still just ramble leaving the meeting and saying to myself "that was ridiculous" LOL, and sometimes I leave the meeting and really feel like I had a message to share. It is what it is. Just remember, everyone there cares about you.
I can't wait to hear all about it.
Member
Join Date: Dec 2003
Posts: 12,136
Hi MP
Congratulations on your time in!
I spoke earlier this month for the first time, in front of nearly 200 people. Terrifying!
But, I listened to my sponsor and just let it flow from the heart. I remember being
scared up there, and crying a bit, but seeing nothing but love and understanding in
the faces of my fellow alcoholics. I spoke for 40 minutes and couldn't tell you what I
said, but the support and love afterwards was overwhelming. Hugs and hugs and more
hugs, and people saying they loved me. I was a wreck, went home and cried! People love me, I thought! I wouldn't have missed this experience for the world. Speak from the heart and trust in your Good Orderly Direction to guide you. You'll be fine.
GB
Love Rowan
Congratulations on your time in!
I spoke earlier this month for the first time, in front of nearly 200 people. Terrifying!
But, I listened to my sponsor and just let it flow from the heart. I remember being
scared up there, and crying a bit, but seeing nothing but love and understanding in
the faces of my fellow alcoholics. I spoke for 40 minutes and couldn't tell you what I
said, but the support and love afterwards was overwhelming. Hugs and hugs and more
hugs, and people saying they loved me. I was a wreck, went home and cried! People love me, I thought! I wouldn't have missed this experience for the world. Speak from the heart and trust in your Good Orderly Direction to guide you. You'll be fine.
GB
Love Rowan
we're all mad here!
Thread Starter
Join Date: Apr 2003
Location: a padded room with bars
Posts: 1,681
Paulie,
our NA follows pretty much the same format as our AA...... I go to both. When I spoke in AA, I, too, followed the readings and got really scared when the Promises hit. That's the last reading.
This sharing was at the local rehab and I got a great reception. Some of the ppl came up and said I helped them. I have to remember this during my share on the 15th. I tried to get out of celebrating my anniversary, but my sponsor isn't letting me slide!
Rowan...
200 ppl???? YIKES!!!! I can't even imagine it. When I shared at the rehab, I kinda went numb. I think it was numb from fear cuz I was munching on altoids the whole time. And drinking lots of soda (no coffee at the rehab)
This time I'm going to pick a couple topics to talk about when I share my Hope (of ESH). So maybe I'll be able to talk for more than 10 mins! LOL
our NA follows pretty much the same format as our AA...... I go to both. When I spoke in AA, I, too, followed the readings and got really scared when the Promises hit. That's the last reading.
This sharing was at the local rehab and I got a great reception. Some of the ppl came up and said I helped them. I have to remember this during my share on the 15th. I tried to get out of celebrating my anniversary, but my sponsor isn't letting me slide!
Rowan...
200 ppl???? YIKES!!!! I can't even imagine it. When I shared at the rehab, I kinda went numb. I think it was numb from fear cuz I was munching on altoids the whole time. And drinking lots of soda (no coffee at the rehab)
This time I'm going to pick a couple topics to talk about when I share my Hope (of ESH). So maybe I'll be able to talk for more than 10 mins! LOL
It is what it is!!!
Join Date: Feb 2002
Location: Sobriety
Posts: 5,767
No coffee at a rehab OMG. That is hysterical!!! we would have gone nuts without our coffee in rehab.
Our AA and NA are slightly different formats.
You will do great Mooty, wish I could be there.
Our AA and NA are slightly different formats.
You will do great Mooty, wish I could be there.
and join the rest on the 15th Member
Join Date: Jul 2004
Location: Beaver, WA
Posts: 1,346
Bummer man........ NO CAFFEINATED Beverages ? ? ?
My Home Group(Freedom Seekers) in the Prison Work Camp has High Octane Coffee!
Anyone interested in some Service Work on the Corrections Committee?
This Group would take your breath away MootPoint
, but you would have a great time and love the opportunity to give your lead at our Group I am certain. Whiskey Bill will be speaking there this Friday night at our Birthday night and hopefully sticking around to visit at our 12 Annual Come Camp-In as well.
Let me know when you want to speak and we will get you some clearance and see about travel expenses. These guys are self supporting! They invite, they cover the costs!
Three Legs
:tri
My Home Group(Freedom Seekers) in the Prison Work Camp has High Octane Coffee!
Anyone interested in some Service Work on the Corrections Committee?
This Group would take your breath away MootPoint
, but you would have a great time and love the opportunity to give your lead at our Group I am certain. Whiskey Bill will be speaking there this Friday night at our Birthday night and hopefully sticking around to visit at our 12 Annual Come Camp-In as well.Let me know when you want to speak and we will get you some clearance and see about travel expenses. These guys are self supporting! They invite, they cover the costs!
Three Legs
:tri
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