legna

An member of AA had this to share tonight and I'd like to know your thoughts on the subject:

Veritas1

Well, of course the first thing I would say is that anyone can say anything in a meeting of Alcoholics Anonymous.

My opinion is that people should not grandstand and make open declarations at group level.

We realize people are spiritually sick...they,... like ourselves...

Forgive and let it go.

~

" This was our course: We realized that the people who wronged us were perhaps spiritually sick.

We avoid retaliation or argument. We wouldn’t treat sick people that way. If we do, we destroy our chance of being helpful. We cannot be helpful to all people, but at least God will show us how to take a kindly and tolerant view of each and every one."

How It Works

Bubovski

I see that as an over simplification of things.
AA in my opinion is a great way of staying sober and becoming a better person.
This does not mean that we are going to be happy all the time, far from it.
We also gain a lot of inner strength by handling advresity well.

Johno1967

"Accepting hardship as the pathways to peace"
Serenity Prayer.

StevenT

*prepares to get things thrown at me*

I agree. With a meager 6 months experience. Well, two years, but six continuous months right now.

It makes sense, really. AA's 9th step promises state many things about life improving. The 10th step promises state several things about our attitudes with fighting anyone or anything improving. So, I believe it can be safely said that working the program of AA produces quality results in the person working the program, and their life improves.

AA is a spiritual program. The most common prayer is the serenity. Serenity means, to me, accepting life as it is, exactly as it is, and as a result of that acceptance finding contentment. Serenity is granted by God, or your HP. So, in short, in my experience, close contact with my HP grants me serenity, working the program makes my life and attitude better.... so if I'm not happy I'm doing something wrong, or haven't been here long enough to experience the full journey.

I know the journey is just beginning for me, but I'm happy with my life. I drive a beater car with bad tags, don't have anything to put my clothes in except a blue trash bag, live away from family, just started a job so I'm broke still..... Yet none of this really matters in the reality of life. I've accepted it. I'm in action to change that which I do not like. I am not only happy with my life, I'm joyous. The circumstances that surround me are not entirely to my liking, but so what? It's not the end. It won't define the direction I head in.

I'm also not the same person I was before I worked the 12 Steps of AA. I am no longer a slave to my petty resentments, to the bottle and pipe, to others expectations of me, to my expectations on everything.... The list goes on and on. I am someone I never thought I could be, and I'm not done changing. Life is amazing, it truly is. Where I came from to where I am now is a miracle.

yeahgr8

makes sense in a way i guess...i would say it would be because one is not doing the suggested program of recovery that is hanging on the wall?

tomsteve

its his opinion.
some of us suffer from grave emotional and mental disorders that require outside help, help that some say isn't needed.

grammydeb

Steven T
great that you are so happy right now
it really does have a lot to do with how I look at things

as far as what was said at the meeting
I was not there so just making an assumption on one quote would be silly
I know for me if I can not come into a meeting and dump something I am in a world of trouble I am not always happy 24/7
that is not even realistic
some days I bitch
what AA has done is give me a solution I can stay miserable or do something
and I can quote the big book all day long
I used to do that and I was more like a walking quote
no action to back it up
I have to take action
as far as the promises they are with every step not just the ones read
I used to think that was all of them and I wondered why I had not gotten them then my sponsor told me
I am not a spiritual giant don't care to try and be one
I have learned to be comfortable with me, my past and how to live in today
for the most part that is
there was an old timer years ago that used to say
" God kept part of his brain scrambled, so he would not get poofed up" I have come to believe the wisdom in that lol
deb

muvinon

Well, these pity comments are usually rooted in commonsense, and then there is ALWAYS the authentic exception....such as someone who just lost a spouse.

For me, God is in my commonsense, which I seem to have when I am spiritually rooted and not flying all over the map due to some perceived whatever. When I'm centered, then these sayings are taken so literally.

Now, on a grumpy day, I'd have sat there and argued with that share. lol

zbear23

I think that I have heard a lot of clever advice and sayings in AA. Over time, I realized that smart and clever don't have much to do with my recovery. Here's something that always helps me, per Dr. Paul O. in the BB: "Acceptance is the answer." I can be happy, sad, glad,, mad, depressed, joyous......and if I simply accept what is and stop fighting, what I get is serenity. Here's a saying that I like: "What I resist persists." Most of my difficulties have resulted from a failure to practice acceptance.

grammydeb

self pity used to be my favorite
I was such a victim! especially where it came to relationships
one day my sponsor stopped me when I was pissing and moaning about my live in boyfriend I had told her how mistreated I have always been
she said
"what is the common denominator in all of your relationships" I said
:they were all assholes!"
NO! she said
"you are!!""
well!! the nerve!! I fired her
she can't talk talk me like that!!
so I went along my sick path and as I got sicker in that area the relationships got worse
until my last one was an active, violent alcoholic
was I sober??
heck no not in the sense that I was of sound mind
I finally went back out after 13 years and while I was drunk I got honest
I saw that it did not matter much what "they did" it was what
I did not do that was
it took 2 years out there before I finally got sick enough to surrender
it was on July 14, 1998 upstairs in my house that I met the God of grace
I have not had a drink since and am relationship free by choice
I am no longer a victim and self pity is repulsive to me
does not mean I am incapable of it not rearing up but I know what to do about it
I am not interested in the perfect program I am interested in seeking God on a daily basis and doing the best I can
do I fall short
oh yes!! but I can not live in self inflicted pain for long at all and that is a miracle
I am so grateful there are solutions today!
it is up to me to do them
but I am going to be honest
it is easy to be well for an hour in a meting how do I live the other 23 hours??
deb

Mark75

There is some truth in that, IMO... problem is knowing WHAT your doing wrong and WHY your doing it wrong and HOW to do it right.

You may need a sponsor, you may need more open mindedness or willingness, you may need outside help.

Statements like that are why non AAs get so bent out of shape over the twelve step program. They easily are misunderstood and on the surface they appear arrogant.

It is a simple, amazingly simple, program... it's just hard to do at first, it goes against the grain and it requires some daily attention and prayer. Meetings are important because as we hear others experience with working the program in our daily lives, we can apply it to our own.

grammydeb

I agree
I am so glad I lived through that relapse and my recovery today is much different
I am happy I have become willing a real key to recovery

Threshold

My issue with that statement is the word YOU

I can listen with open ears, mind and heart when people share their experience, and I accept that they are telling me the truth and perhaps mine will be similar to theirs.

When they start telling me what my experience should be, will be, etc...my ears clog up with "now wait a minute there...'

and if they do it with a wink wink, nudge nudge, condescending tone etc...I go beyond clogged ears to the resentment zone, even the PO'd rebellious zone.

I think that people have different experiences in recovery, and they may well be different manifestations of the same sort of underlying growth. We all have our own pace and different parts of the program that do the deepest change on us, due to what we come in with. Some people feel their relief at step 2, others at 5, for some it's at 9. Not all our pipes are clogged at the same places.

Sometimes when people's deep experience is distilled into a sort of canned slogan though, it can lose it's effectiveness and comes across trite or demeaning. I don't think it's meant to...and old timers often like to say "that's what I needed, to be kicked in the gut and get real mad over something like that" etc etc.

Only time will tell. lol.

Db1105

When I Came into Alcoholics Anonymous, happiness was the furthest thing in my mind. I just wanted to get through the day without drinking. AA taught me how to live life on life's term without drinking. I strive daily to accept the will of my a higher Power. Bouts of unhappiness in my daily journey is not because I'm doing something wrong. Saying that it is definitely is wrong.

Boleo

IMNSHO "Happiness" is not the goal of recovery. Equanimity is. If my sobriety were dependent on me being happy all of the time, I would not stand a snowballs chance in he!!

What does keep me going is being able to stay on course even when the weather is bad. I have found that being more or less neutral in my emotional nature is far more reliable than thinking/feeling/expecting positive emotions.

"It is a design for living that works in rough going."
(page 15)

Threshold

Yup, I think it's serenity that is the miracle, not happiness.

tomsteve

if recovery was all happy, I don't think we would have to trudge the road to happy destiny.

if recovery was all happy...I think id be in denial!
but getting through situations with serenity...well... I still gota lotta work to do.
but only today.

Boleo

Yup! Specially "the things I can not change" part. IMO serenity is comparable to what Meister Eckhart called Spiritual Detachment.

I do my part - step up to the plate - provide the action of swinging at the ball - let the Universe take the ball where ever it wants to.

Alraihani

"we are going to know a new happiness and we will know peace"

Just because I'm not happy twenty four seven doesn't mean i don't have a new happiness compared to when i was drinking.