nfijules

I apologize if I am in the wrong area here.........I have a sponsee that is in the process of getting her children back and also in the next month. She is being released from long term treatment today and her child caseworker contacted me and wants to run a backround check on me. I didn't have a problem with that until he stated he needed $45.00 to run the check. I told him, I am a sponsor and not a babysitter for her children. He still stated that since I was her sponsor, he needs to run a check on me. He said, no check is needed as long as I am not around her kids until she gets her custody in one month.
I told him, I will think about it and will call him back either today or tomorrow and am asking around. Im a little confused on this one. I was to take my sponsee and her girls to the zoo tomorrow and now, not sure on what to do!
I want to make a positive example to my sponsee on following rules and guidelines even though we don't like them....and I am having a hard time with this one! Thanks for listening!!

laurie6781

Hmmmmm I do think this is a personal decision for you. It will depend on how much you are around her and the children.

I do wonder though about the requirement and the 1 month of no contact with the kids. I wonder what they would do if she had to take them with her to a meeting? Are they going to require a back ground check on everyone at the AA meetings?

If it were me, I do believe that I would call back and ask to speak to the supervisor and manager of that department to get a clearer reason or not for this 'background check'. Sheesh it was okay that you have been sponsoring her for however many months to help her become a responsible citizen and mom, but now all of a sudden they need a 'background check'?

I too, would be upset and want more information, but if I could not get 'around' it, then it would depend on if I needed to be with her and her children for the next month, or just her.

J M H O

Love and hugs,

tomsteve

wow!!! thatsa new one!!!
i could see it being a concern for the kids' safety, but it sure seems lie havin you pay for the background check they want is a lil crazy.

he needs a background check because you are the sponsor??? thats just crazy.

Carlotta

Sounds like a scam to me. Government agencies should be able to run background checks for free. I never heard of one charging $$. Definitely contact the supervisor and see what it is all about.

nfijules

Thanks for some input.....!!

BadCompany

Yeah, that sounds like a scam. Call the police.

miamifella

Why would a sponsor need to be around a sponsee's children? I have never heard of a sponsor getting so close as to go to take a sponsee and his or her family to the zoo.

I do not mean to be snarky, but I thought that it was a general practice that sponsors never met any family or non-program friends of their sponsee.

PaperDolls

My first thought was 'scam' too.

I bet he wants you to pay the fee with your credit card. Right?

fraankie

wow, that is a tough one
i wouldn't have no one run a background check on me
i would do the fellowship thing
meet my sponsee at a meeting
end of story


fraankie

UncleMeat69

Does he want your social security number and date of birth? DCS does
not incur any carges by the local PD to run a background check in any
state or municipality I know of in the USA.

First question I would ask is "What makes you think I would be involved
with the children? That is not what sponsors do.... The mother will be their
legal custodian and that would be her decision." Tell him you would like to speak to his supervisor and want his full name and work phone #.
Report it to your local PD if he does not cooperate and advise you
believe you are being scammed....

Tommyh

I would not do it.
somethings fishy here

laurie6781

Happens a lot more often than you think. Sponsor and sponsee also can and many times do become friends. Heck, I was very close to my sponsor and her hubby. One long weekend they and my husband and myself went down to San Diego. We spent the first do going to Sea World.

The next 2 days were spent at the San Diego Zoo as there was just too too much to see in one day, and we all had a blast, laugh like I hadn't laughed in years.

And, after Hugh passed in '92, and I was already divorced, I would make a point of flying into L.A.X. at least twice a year, taking the bus out to the Van Nuys airport and Bev would either pick me up if she felt well enough to drive or I would take a taxi to her house. Each trip I would stay at least 10 days to 2 weeks at her insistence. And she gave me free use of either of her vehicles to use while I was there.

One trip out there I was invited to a birthday party at my grand sponsor's house for another member in AA. I told Bev and made sure she felt well enough to go. We went and it was wonderful!!! My double winner alanon sponsor was there also. A great afternoon into early evening was had by all. And Doris's hubby had made homemade ice cream the day before, lots of it, lol

Then as it got dark, and since it was the saturday closest to the full moon we ended up having an impromptu Moonlight Madness Meeting around the fire in the fire pit. Some folks got on their phones and called others and it was quite a large aa/alanon meeting, lasted for about 2 hours! IT was great!

Sponsors and sponsees do take the relationship further into friendship and that is great for those that do. Several years ago I got a sponsee that had small children, two of them, and each was the age of one of my grandchildren. As we went through the steps and became closer we did do some things together, like the WETLANDS water park, and the El Paso Zoo, etc and birthday parties at my grandchildren's home and swim parties at their home. It is great.

My oldest granddaughter and her oldest daughter are in the same high school and the same grade and have become great friends and study partners. My sponsee is now a member of my S-I-L's and daughter's church and it has helped her in living a spiritual way of life. Wonderful things happen in sobriety, and I think it is wonderful that (((((Julie))))) has this type of relationship with her sponsee.

the more I have thought about this, I too think this is a SCAM.

Love and hugs,

Threshold

People can run their sponsor/sponsee relationships any way they choose but heck, for anonymity's sake...nope, nope, and nope.

I also think it's fishy one, that they know your name and number, and two that they want you to pay, etc etc. The whole thing sounds odd.

GracieLou

I found this...

http://www.naccrra.org/sites/default...nal_july_6.pdf

If you scroll to page ten it shows Nebraska. The only check for that state is in the Child abuse registry.

The paper is dated July 2012.

I personally would not do it.

I know you stated about following rules when we don't like them but they are imposing rules on you that do not apply to you, they really apply to her/her kids. It is only a month. It can also teach that sometimes we have to wait and to be patient. One day at a time.

ElegantlyWasted

To me the key is " wants to run a backround check on me". So... The follow up question is; is it required by law and are you breaking a law by not complying and continuing to be her sponsor and see her kids. Is the person an actual case worker? I would ask for the specific state statute the they were referring to with " no check is needed as long as I am not around her kids until she gets her custody in one month". Hopefully just a well intentioned person over reaching their duties.

paul99

The only time I had a background check for what we call the "vulnerable sector" (ex. children) was when I volunteered at my child's preschool. I volunteered twice a month for several months. So in that case, I get it. And they didn't ask me for money. I am with the chorus here and saying it's a bit dodgy. Where do they draw the line on who and who counts as a caregiver or a bystander?

muvinon

I absolutely would not allow this. I would not give my name. I would actually report this offense up the line to the proper agency.

It is WAY out of line.

tate9685

I had to have one of these background checks once and it did cost 45.00, but why should you have to pay it. Have your sponsee pay.

LadyinBC

Actually I'm not surprised the case worker has asked you to do this. These children are in care of the government and it is up to them to ensure the safety and well being of the children. That really is the bottom line, so they will ask anyone who will be around the children to have one done. I know some won't agree with me and I understand, but I know that his happens here in BC and I don't see the problem with it.

artsoul

I'd definitely ask for more information.... It just seems questionable that you would need a background check as long as the mother is present with the kids (i.e. unless the children are left in your care).

Found a government link that might help:
Criminal Background Checks | Child Care Aware