Quit or be quiet in AA meeting
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Thread Starter
Join Date: Mar 2012
Location: Caribbean
Posts: 2
Quit or be quiet in AA meeting
HI there, I am from Aruba and I attended AA meeting for 12 months. Today I decided that I no longer wish to be a fellow and like to share why.
AA in Aruba is very diverse, every day different tourists come to the meeting and share their stories, this makes the meeting interesting and gives a broad view regarding the AA in general. When joining the AA I was felt very home and found great support with the local members, read much of the literature and intended to follow the spiritual line to recovery.
However along the way I came more and more to believe that my additional problem and related symptoms (depressions) were not solely related to my personality defects or a lack of a higher power. For example I figured out that there are at least two different kinds of depressions, one event related (lost of a job, divorce), one bio-chemical related(mal-nutrition due extensive alc. consumption). It doesn’t make sense to threat the bio-chemical related depression with talk therapy or a meeting as far as my view goes. However, in my experience, both kinds of depressions are very alcohol related and treatable on different ways. As a result my, experience strength and hope during my recovery are not solely building on the AA literature and some experiences made me [partially] disagree with the some AA statements. Still I made daily meeting and mostly listen to the spiritual stories in the meetings and sharing my spiritual part till the point that my nutritional recovery brought such fast and profound results that I shared about it.
From here I have been several time cut off when I shared about alcoholism and not about AA literature related recovery. Apparently the AA fellowship cannot accept any form of experience and strength received from a non-AA related recovery. I really wished the AA was a support group for alcoholism and not [what it appears to be] a solely big book support group. I miss my meeting and hope to make it without the support I received from my non-alcoholic fellows before I came to believe that there are more road to Rome.
AA in Aruba is very diverse, every day different tourists come to the meeting and share their stories, this makes the meeting interesting and gives a broad view regarding the AA in general. When joining the AA I was felt very home and found great support with the local members, read much of the literature and intended to follow the spiritual line to recovery.
However along the way I came more and more to believe that my additional problem and related symptoms (depressions) were not solely related to my personality defects or a lack of a higher power. For example I figured out that there are at least two different kinds of depressions, one event related (lost of a job, divorce), one bio-chemical related(mal-nutrition due extensive alc. consumption). It doesn’t make sense to threat the bio-chemical related depression with talk therapy or a meeting as far as my view goes. However, in my experience, both kinds of depressions are very alcohol related and treatable on different ways. As a result my, experience strength and hope during my recovery are not solely building on the AA literature and some experiences made me [partially] disagree with the some AA statements. Still I made daily meeting and mostly listen to the spiritual stories in the meetings and sharing my spiritual part till the point that my nutritional recovery brought such fast and profound results that I shared about it.
From here I have been several time cut off when I shared about alcoholism and not about AA literature related recovery. Apparently the AA fellowship cannot accept any form of experience and strength received from a non-AA related recovery. I really wished the AA was a support group for alcoholism and not [what it appears to be] a solely big book support group. I miss my meeting and hope to make it without the support I received from my non-alcoholic fellows before I came to believe that there are more road to Rome.
Member
Join Date: Dec 2008
Location: uk
Posts: 2,548
It doesn’t make sense to threat the bio-chemical related depression with talk therapy or a meeting as far as my view goes.
Not my experience...talk therapy did help for clinical depression....just not in AA, AA is about alcoholism for alcoholics...
From here I have been several time cut off when I shared about alcoholism
Why dont you engage in the 12 steps with a sponsor and see how you feel about the fellowship then ?....... its a spiritual program of action, i could sit in AA meetings all day long debating what it should be and what it isnt....bottom line is ,,the 12 steps IS AA....
Member
Join Date: Feb 2012
Location: Near Scranton PA
Posts: 424
I'm an alcoholic. I'm also prone to depression. I go to AA for help with alcoholism and I see a therapist for help with my depression. Full disclosure, my therapist is also an AA with 30 years sobriety, so he knows whereof I speak.
AA is my answer for staying sober. It's a great program but it doesn't help with diabetes, tetanus or depression. When you're clinically depressed, you're cut off from hour Higher Power and your fellow man. Prayer and service aren't always a viable option for the depressed and depression can be as sure a killer as alcoholism.
AA is my answer for staying sober. It's a great program but it doesn't help with diabetes, tetanus or depression. When you're clinically depressed, you're cut off from hour Higher Power and your fellow man. Prayer and service aren't always a viable option for the depressed and depression can be as sure a killer as alcoholism.
SHARING THE LOAD
Join Date: Jul 2009
Location: In the Slowlane
Posts: 878
Yes there are myriad or other was to get sober and stay sober. My experience is that I can add those ways into the program of alcoholics anonymous without having to bring them to the talble. AA does not need to be changed or improved by me as it has been around for quite a while. Big news is this that the door will be always open for you and that the only requirement for membership is the desire to stop drinking.
Member
Join Date: Oct 2011
Posts: 1,146
Well, it's cool AA worked for you to the point you chose not to participate. In the future should you feel differently the door's open.
In the meantime, focus on watching your nutrition and other areas you find helpful.
Good luck, hope things go smooth.
In the meantime, focus on watching your nutrition and other areas you find helpful.
Good luck, hope things go smooth.
Member
Join Date: Dec 2011
Location: Canada. About as far south as you can get
Posts: 4,768
pos, in our area over the years different groups have sprung up due exactly to what you are describing.
They say all you need to start a new group is a coffee maker and a resentment.
That being said, if there are others in your area who think like you, starting a new group may be just the thing. Nobody says you can't do that.
I am one of those AA's that "How It works" says even those with grave emotional and mental disorders do recover if they have the capacity to be honest .. That's why I drank so much, to get that relief.
I was at a meeting this morning that was started by a handful of folks about 15 yrs ago who saw a need for a slightly different take on AA (group conscience) and it has flourished.
Anyway, please think/pray long and hard before you walk away, but if you do walk perhaps a new group is the remedy.
All the best.
Bob R
They say all you need to start a new group is a coffee maker and a resentment.
That being said, if there are others in your area who think like you, starting a new group may be just the thing. Nobody says you can't do that.
I am one of those AA's that "How It works" says even those with grave emotional and mental disorders do recover if they have the capacity to be honest .. That's why I drank so much, to get that relief.
I was at a meeting this morning that was started by a handful of folks about 15 yrs ago who saw a need for a slightly different take on AA (group conscience) and it has flourished.
Anyway, please think/pray long and hard before you walk away, but if you do walk perhaps a new group is the remedy.
All the best.
Bob R
~sb
Join Date: Jul 2011
Location: MD
Posts: 15,969
I was taken through the steps quickly, too, just like Bill W. and Dr. Bob worked the steps.
Acceptance, tolerance, & love.
My sponsor reminds me it's none of my business what others think of me.
Glad you are sober!!!!
Peace & hugs,
Acceptance, tolerance, & love.
My sponsor reminds me it's none of my business what others think of me.
Glad you are sober!!!!
Peace & hugs,
Member
Join Date: Aug 2011
Posts: 2,308
Hi Pos,
What I am hearing from your post is that you enjoy the meetings but don't like the way AA discounts what you have to say regarding alcoholism.
I would get a bit annoyed when I would try to talk about this website and felt it wasn't as well received as I thought it should be.
Now I don' care.
I think you should keep going to meetings because they are important to you and I think you enjoy them.
I don't get to many meetings because of where I live but I feel that AA has put me on the road to my spiritual journey and reminds me of how sick I really was.
CaiHong
What I am hearing from your post is that you enjoy the meetings but don't like the way AA discounts what you have to say regarding alcoholism.
I would get a bit annoyed when I would try to talk about this website and felt it wasn't as well received as I thought it should be.
Now I don' care.
I think you should keep going to meetings because they are important to you and I think you enjoy them.
I don't get to many meetings because of where I live but I feel that AA has put me on the road to my spiritual journey and reminds me of how sick I really was.
CaiHong
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Mar 2012
Location: Caribbean
Posts: 2
Thank you all for the kind reply!! Just I hoped to find in AA what the Alcoholics Anonymous World Services concludes in **WHAT A.A. IS AND IS NOT**:
aa . org/lang/en/catalog.cfm?origpage=11&product=84]Alcoholics Anonymous : Information on Alcoholics Anonymous[/url]
Conclusion: The primary purpose of A.A. is to carry its message of recovery to the alcoholic seeking help. Almost every alcoholism treatment tries to help the alcoholic maintain sobriety. Regardless of the road we follow, we all head for the same destination, recovery of the alcoholic person. Together, we can do what none of us could accomplish alone. We can serve as a source of personal experience and be an ongoing support system for recovering alcoholics.
aa . org/lang/en/catalog.cfm?origpage=11&product=84]Alcoholics Anonymous : Information on Alcoholics Anonymous[/url]
Conclusion: The primary purpose of A.A. is to carry its message of recovery to the alcoholic seeking help. Almost every alcoholism treatment tries to help the alcoholic maintain sobriety. Regardless of the road we follow, we all head for the same destination, recovery of the alcoholic person. Together, we can do what none of us could accomplish alone. We can serve as a source of personal experience and be an ongoing support system for recovering alcoholics.
Member
Join Date: Dec 2008
Location: uk
Posts: 2,548
Sadlly and only my experience ....**** poor sponsorship is as common and non alcoholics in AA ....sponsors seem to get " busy" with all sorts of other mumbo jumbo ..rather than just take someone directly through the book and leave the rest to god .
dopeless hope fiend
Join Date: Jan 2010
Location: Here. Now.
Posts: 1,021
Originally Posted by Tommyh 
the 12 steps did away with my depression
and a therapist cannot help me
therapist cannot get to and help the root causes of my defects which caused my depression
and a therapist cannot help me
therapist cannot get to and help the root causes of my defects which caused my depression
Member
Join Date: Dec 2011
Location: Canada. About as far south as you can get
Posts: 4,768
Originally Posted by Tommyh
the 12 steps did away with my depression
and a therapist cannot help me
therapist cannot get to and help the root causes of my defects which caused my depression
and a therapist cannot help me
therapist cannot get to and help the root causes of my defects which caused my depression
A normal person cannot identify anymore with my feelings/thoughts than I can identify with theirs. Therapists included. I need an oldtimer to guide me, he knows my problem.. and the solution.
All the best.
Bob
Sober Alcoholic
Join Date: Aug 2011
Posts: 3,539
Alcoholics and therapists are not mutually exclusive groups. There are plenty who are both. There are even some alcoholic therapists who have also suffered from depression. I am intimately acquainted with one of them. The firsthand experience from this individual is that depression CAN exist outside of anything the steps can take care of.
The big book itself points out that alcoholics are seldom honest with therapists. There is a person who attends meetings here who says that one of the best things a therapist ever said to him was “don’t waste my time” in response to the BS he would normally pass as truth. It's colorful to say that therapists would ”run screaming if” they were to know “what was going on in an alcoholics head”. The truth is that therapists beg for the truth and don’t get it from the typical alcoholic.
It’s also interesting to note that the person who came up with AA’s 12 steps suffered from SEVERE depression for much of the 15 years after he wrote the big book. Is it being suggested that Bill Wilson did not thoroughly work the steps? That this was the reason for his depression? That, would be a very odd claim.
IMO old timers and/or sponsors that think all alcoholics with depression can be taken care of with the steps are nothing short of dangerous when working with a depressed alcoholic.
The big book itself points out that alcoholics are seldom honest with therapists. There is a person who attends meetings here who says that one of the best things a therapist ever said to him was “don’t waste my time” in response to the BS he would normally pass as truth. It's colorful to say that therapists would ”run screaming if” they were to know “what was going on in an alcoholics head”. The truth is that therapists beg for the truth and don’t get it from the typical alcoholic.
It’s also interesting to note that the person who came up with AA’s 12 steps suffered from SEVERE depression for much of the 15 years after he wrote the big book. Is it being suggested that Bill Wilson did not thoroughly work the steps? That this was the reason for his depression? That, would be a very odd claim.
IMO old timers and/or sponsors that think all alcoholics with depression can be taken care of with the steps are nothing short of dangerous when working with a depressed alcoholic.
Member
Join Date: Dec 2011
Location: Canada. About as far south as you can get
Posts: 4,768
Originally Posted by awuh1
Is it being suggested that Bill Wilson did not thoroughly work the steps? That this was the reason for his depression?
So we couldn't expect Bill to be perfect... the principles are, the man is not.
IMO old timers and/or sponsors that think all alcoholics with depression can be taken care of with the steps are nothing short of dangerous when working with a depressed alcoholic.
I totally agree, it can be a tough call for us laypersons and the professionals as well as to when drug therapy is the best answer for an alcoholics discomfort or just the "easy way out" yet again.
Wishing everyone a great weekend.
Bob R
Member
Join Date: Dec 2008
Location: uk
Posts: 2,548
I went to AA for alcoholism.
I went to the doctor for clinical depression.
Both parties knew exactly what they where talking about in those areas.
I also own a general motors car......yep, i take it to a general motors mechanic when it breaks down.
The steps are not a cure all......god maybe..so who knows
I dont take meds for clinical depression diagnosed at 16/17........i manage it through a number of different activity's...mainly exercise.
THAT MAY NOT BE THE CASE WITH SOME PEOPLE....just works for me...my direct experience.
Did the steps cure my chemical imbalance in my brain.....NO......but i saw great improvement.....now short episodes no longer than a week, normally in winter....
I went to the doctor for clinical depression.
Both parties knew exactly what they where talking about in those areas.
I also own a general motors car......yep, i take it to a general motors mechanic when it breaks down.
The steps are not a cure all......god maybe..so who knows
I dont take meds for clinical depression diagnosed at 16/17........i manage it through a number of different activity's...mainly exercise.
THAT MAY NOT BE THE CASE WITH SOME PEOPLE....just works for me...my direct experience.
Did the steps cure my chemical imbalance in my brain.....NO......but i saw great improvement.....now short episodes no longer than a week, normally in winter....
Member
Join Date: Nov 2010
Location: New York, NY
Posts: 6,262
I'm an alcoholic who is also treated for major depression, taking several highly effective anti-depressants. I don't talk about depression and medication in meetings because I don't want unsolicited advice from others. I talk about alcoholism in meetings, see a doctor for the depression. I've read that it's very common for alcoholics to suffer from other mental illnesses, especially depression and bipolar.
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