WakeUp

In another thread the subject of Bill's depression was touched on.
A lot of AAs said, "Well, you're not working your program!"

I think it goes deeper than that. (Ok, I can't keep my opinions out, lol)

I believe that Bill went through a dark night of the soul period, from 1944-1955. Very few people go through this dark night, indeed only the spiritually fit go into the dark night, and Bill was a very special guy indeed. I believe God put Bill into the dark night so that God could do his greatest work through Bill. During that time period, Bill started working on the general service structure of AA. In 1955, the Fellowship was turned over to the members at the St Louis convention, and Bill's depression left him.

That's my story and I'm sticking to it.

sugarbear1

Thank you for this perspective. I think I will continue to use this.

TheJungianThing

Wasn't the 12 X 12 written during that period ?

Taking5

Yes, written in '48 and adopted by AA at the 1950 convention, Dr. Bob's last major appearance on behalf of AA.

BHF

I bet you've read it, but if not, or if anyone else is interested in this topic, pick up a copy of Pass It On, the Story of Bill Wilson (I think I got the title right). It discusses this issue at depth and is sanctioned AA literature, so I would assume fairly accurate.

I learned alot about Bill Wilson that I hadn't known/imagined. His passion for AA - assumed such. Seances, belief in ghosts, experimenting with LSD? Not necessarily what I would have expected... but no weirder than some of the stuff I've done or believed in.

WakeUp

I do have Pass It On, my service sponsor had me read it. It gives a more comprehensive character sketch of Bill Wilson the man behind the movement.

sugarbear1

Bill was trying to see if he could recreate a spiritual experience to help other suffering alcoholics when attempting the LSD......

[from my grand sponsor Bill F. who knew Frank L. and June L., both of whom Clarence S. (via Dr. Bob) had sponsored]

TheJungianThing

And LSD was being used and experimented with in clinical settings back then. It hadn't been rendered illegal and wasn't relegated to a counter culture movement and subsequently considered a recreational drug.

Further, the chemical stucture of LSD resembles the same chemical structures as other hallucinogenic substances like Pscilocibin and the active ingredient in Mescaline (and a few others but my research is dated) and have been used in other cultures for -

Religious experiences.

In my own experience it was used for more of a Timothy Leary style of introspection and philosophical/spiritual seeking rather than mere recreation. That is until I found how spiritual, recreation could be. :rotfxko

Further study into some spiritual practices does show an attempt to evoke an event through a variety of means. Fasting is one, but placing oneself in an uncomfortable situation - what Catholicism calls "self moritifcation" - and relying solely on prayer and meditation has been used in the past to do the same thing. Get closer to God/Allah/The Creator - "He with many names".

NYCDoglvr

The majority of recovering alcoholics also suffer from other mental illnesses, including depression and bipolar disorder. (see this video with interview of one of the top experts in the US.)They are separate diseases and require a visit to a shrink. I knew someone too stubborn to go on anti-depressants who committed suicide. Unfortunately in the 1930's not much was known about mental illnesses like alcoholism, depression, etc. Thank God people get the help they need today.

It is simply stupid to say someone isn't working their program well enough if they suffer from depression. Would you say that about someone dealing with diabetes? Because a disease is a disease is a disease. I advise looking at AA's own literature. The pamphlet "AA Member Medication and other drugs" specifically says "no one should play doctor"! Nowhere in the Big Book does it say God will fix everything, or the program will. Bill Wilson would never say that!

UpperbucksAAguy

Dark Night of the Soul For anyone interested in some writings o the dark night of the soul

gplmdyw

Also, don't forget that Bill wrote the 12 & 12 during that time and his desperate need to continue seeking and learning more about himself, this illness, and how to apply more principles and solutions, were the result of that in that book.
I study and practice the Big Book but I also eventually went to the NEXT book for FURTHER understanding.
Pain = Willingness.
One other point here...I believe that if Bill had the benefit of other Fellowships, such as for Adult Children etc, he might have not had to suffer the depression that tortured him for the rest of his life.
The work isn't finished until our childhood issues are worked all the way down to the bottom and we've accepted and forgiven everyone and ourselves.

Justfor1

I believe that Bill W. was also experimenting with vitamins to relieve his depression. I find it interesting in how it works; "there are those too who suffer from grave emotional disorders but many of them do recover..." This was before science knew a whole lot about depression, bi-polar ect....

gplmdyw

You got it! Some (including me) believe that those are the grave emotional and mental disorders, the adult child and codependency issues, and perhaps others. But bipolar disorder is just the "highs and lows".