A question,very new to AA
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Join Date: Oct 2003
Location: Melbourne victoria
Posts: 1,975
A question,very new to AA
Hi everyone.
I am VERY new to AA, in fact 3 meetings , and 4 days sober, thats how new.
I see you all here mentioning " sponsers" What is the story ? How do you get one? and what part do they play ?
Must say, I am so glad I found these boards, I was having a panic attack this morning, and could not find a meeting I could get to, so have spent the day ( it is now 6:30pm) reading and absorbing , and being encouraged here, which has been fantastic !
Thank you all
Lee
I am VERY new to AA, in fact 3 meetings , and 4 days sober, thats how new.
I see you all here mentioning " sponsers" What is the story ? How do you get one? and what part do they play ?
Must say, I am so glad I found these boards, I was having a panic attack this morning, and could not find a meeting I could get to, so have spent the day ( it is now 6:30pm) reading and absorbing , and being encouraged here, which has been fantastic !
Thank you all
Lee
Member
Join Date: Jan 2003
Location: Dreaming Summer
Posts: 821
Hi Lee 
A sponsor is a very important part of the recovery program.This is a person you can call on to talk one on one,and who will help guide you through learning to work the steps.
You'll want to get phone numbers at meetings so that you have people to talk with in between.At some point you will want to ask someone to sponsor you.Look for someone who is actively working the program,and who has some time sober.
It's best if men sponsor men,and women sponsor women.Beyond that, the choice of a sponsor is fairly simple.It's good to find someone you'll feel comfortable with,who has the time and willingness to work closely with you.Don't be discouraged if it takes a bit of time to find the right person.Just keep talking to people,and keep reaching out.You'll connect with someone.
Glad you're here,and don't hesitate to ask any questions you may have.Keep coming back
phoenix
A sponsor is a very important part of the recovery program.This is a person you can call on to talk one on one,and who will help guide you through learning to work the steps.
You'll want to get phone numbers at meetings so that you have people to talk with in between.At some point you will want to ask someone to sponsor you.Look for someone who is actively working the program,and who has some time sober.
It's best if men sponsor men,and women sponsor women.Beyond that, the choice of a sponsor is fairly simple.It's good to find someone you'll feel comfortable with,who has the time and willingness to work closely with you.Don't be discouraged if it takes a bit of time to find the right person.Just keep talking to people,and keep reaching out.You'll connect with someone.
Glad you're here,and don't hesitate to ask any questions you may have.Keep coming back
phoenix
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Thread Starter
Join Date: Oct 2003
Location: Melbourne victoria
Posts: 1,975
Thank you Pheonix,
I already have many phone numbers from the first 3 meetings I have been to. Also the the lady who rang me , after I first made contact , ( Wed morning) has been picking me up for meetings, ( no license) and ringing me almost twice a day , so I have been very Blessed !
These Boards have supported me today , as there was not a meeting I could get to, but I am going again tomorrow nite , after workMust say , that the fact that I have to ask someone to Sponser me, is very scary .
Shyness, and the fear of rejection, are 2 of the main character traits that led me to my first drink !
Thank you for your reply
Am so glad I found these boards, got me over a major panic attack
Cheers
lee
I already have many phone numbers from the first 3 meetings I have been to. Also the the lady who rang me , after I first made contact , ( Wed morning) has been picking me up for meetings, ( no license) and ringing me almost twice a day , so I have been very Blessed !
These Boards have supported me today , as there was not a meeting I could get to, but I am going again tomorrow nite , after workMust say , that the fact that I have to ask someone to Sponser me, is very scary .
Shyness, and the fear of rejection, are 2 of the main character traits that led me to my first drink !
Thank you for your reply
Am so glad I found these boards, got me over a major panic attack
Cheers
lee
Member
Join Date: Jan 2003
Location: Dreaming Summer
Posts: 821
I understand.I was also afraid to ask for a sponsor,and for the exact same reasons.I can laugh now,but the first lady I asked did say no.But it was because she was honest enough to let me know that she didn't feel she had enough time sober.The next person was happy to be my sponsor.
Most people will be honored to be asked,and if they have to say no it will be for good reasons.They may have as many commitments as they can handle,or things like that.If they have to say no,they will be very nice about it,and may even be able to help you find someone else.
Don't worry.You don't have to chooose a sponsor today,or even this week...lol.It's just something to be thinking about as you get to know people in AA.Keep coming back,and let us know how it's going
Hugs
phoenix
Most people will be honored to be asked,and if they have to say no it will be for good reasons.They may have as many commitments as they can handle,or things like that.If they have to say no,they will be very nice about it,and may even be able to help you find someone else.
Don't worry.You don't have to chooose a sponsor today,or even this week...lol.It's just something to be thinking about as you get to know people in AA.Keep coming back,and let us know how it's going
Hugs
phoenix
Member
Join Date: Jan 2002
Location: Boston
Posts: 710
Hi Lee, and congrats to you!
A sponsor is someone who can help guide you through the 12 Steps of AA. My suggestion would be to find someone who has what you want....... someone who has a sponsor of their own and has been taken through the 12 Steps of recovery also, with their own sponsor.
Is there someone at the meeting who has been sober for one year or more and who has a smile on his face, a hand that reaches out to help other alcoholics to stay sober, and who is working this beautiful program in their own life, and passing it on?
For myself...... I saw this woman at my AA meeting and she seemed to have this peace about her. She always had a kind word of encouragement, and she had this serenity even when there were those who were upset around her. She never gossiped, never spoke harshly of anyone, and she had a sponsor who seemed to have the same outlook and a smile on her face too. LOL
One of things that I had a major problem with when I was looking for a sponsor was my own inability to trust, and there was this gut feeling that I had after observing this woman for a while........... that she could be trusted
She became my sponsor, and over the years she became my friend and mentor. I learned so much from this woman, she taught me how to trust..... most important she helped me learn to trust ME She helped me to work through the 12 steps of recovery in my own life, she encouraged me to continue to grow here in this program one day at a time, and to pass it on.
When I look back I was so so afraid to ask anyone to be my sponsor, and I believe that my Higher Power put this woman right in my life. She never told me what to do, how to do it, or when. She would simply share her experience, strength and hope with me, and allow me to make my own choices. She was a guide in my life at a time when I was new and I wasn't able to put two sentences together LOL
I remember asking my sponsor this: "Why don't you just give me the answers?" Her reply is one that I have come to not only understand but to be so very very grateful for.
Her reply was: " Patsy, I can not give you what I have and I wouldn't even if I could, because this is your journey and Patsy, you have your own path and your own answers will come...... I am here to help guide you........ the rest is between you and the God of your own understanding"
For myself a Sponsor is a vital part of recovery..... and Lee, its ok to be afraid, do it anyways
Love
Patsy
A sponsor is someone who can help guide you through the 12 Steps of AA. My suggestion would be to find someone who has what you want....... someone who has a sponsor of their own and has been taken through the 12 Steps of recovery also, with their own sponsor.
Is there someone at the meeting who has been sober for one year or more and who has a smile on his face, a hand that reaches out to help other alcoholics to stay sober, and who is working this beautiful program in their own life, and passing it on?
For myself...... I saw this woman at my AA meeting and she seemed to have this peace about her. She always had a kind word of encouragement, and she had this serenity even when there were those who were upset around her. She never gossiped, never spoke harshly of anyone, and she had a sponsor who seemed to have the same outlook and a smile on her face too. LOL
One of things that I had a major problem with when I was looking for a sponsor was my own inability to trust, and there was this gut feeling that I had after observing this woman for a while........... that she could be trusted
She became my sponsor, and over the years she became my friend and mentor. I learned so much from this woman, she taught me how to trust..... most important she helped me learn to trust ME
She helped me to work through the 12 steps of recovery in my own life, she encouraged me to continue to grow here in this program one day at a time, and to pass it on.When I look back I was so so afraid to ask anyone to be my sponsor, and I believe that my Higher Power put this woman right in my life. She never told me what to do, how to do it, or when. She would simply share her experience, strength and hope with me, and allow me to make my own choices. She was a guide in my life at a time when I was new and I wasn't able to put two sentences together LOL
I remember asking my sponsor this: "Why don't you just give me the answers?" Her reply is one that I have come to not only understand but to be so very very grateful for.
Her reply was: " Patsy, I can not give you what I have and I wouldn't even if I could, because this is your journey and Patsy, you have your own path and your own answers will come...... I am here to help guide you........ the rest is between you and the God of your own understanding"
For myself a Sponsor is a vital part of recovery..... and Lee, its ok to be afraid, do it anyways
Love
Patsy
JUST FOR TODAY
Join Date: Jul 2003
Location: Lowell, MA
Posts: 104
Lee, what worked for me was I asked God to put someone in my life that would guide me in the right direction. A sponsor has become a very important factoer in the life of this alcoholic. For once in my life I am listening to the suggestions, and then even giving them a try. And so far, neither God nor my sponsor has disappointed me at all.
At meetings I would listen to certain people, the ones that I thought had what I wanted to have. And I tried to identify and relate with them. And when this student was ready, the teacher did appear. And I have God to thank for that. Good luck and God bless.
Harry
At meetings I would listen to certain people, the ones that I thought had what I wanted to have. And I tried to identify and relate with them. And when this student was ready, the teacher did appear. And I have God to thank for that. Good luck and God bless.
Harry
Forward we go...side by side-Rest In Peace
Join Date: Jun 2002
Location: Serene In Dixie
Posts: 36,740
Hi Lee...
AA has a pamphlet...
"Questions And Answers On Sponsorship"
It is on the free literature rack in meetings.
:shades2: I suggest you read it before you ask anyone.
"Questions And Answers On Sponsorship"
It is on the free literature rack in meetings.
:shades2: I suggest you read it before you ask anyone.
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Join Date: Oct 2003
Location: Melbourne victoria
Posts: 1,975
Thank you both
Went to my 4th meeting last night ! I have a lady who has been carting me around like a bag of wheat ! lol . I asked her too, and she said the same thing as you Harry ! so I shall just pray and wait !
A new experience for me tonite, came home via Public transport , quite enjoyed it ! No traffic jams .
Sitting here with my bottle of water + lemon juice, about to get my fix from the new Posts !
Day 7 nearly over
Thanks everyone
HUGXXXXXX
Lee
A new experience for me tonite, came home via Public transport , quite enjoyed it ! No traffic jams .
Sitting here with my bottle of water + lemon juice, about to get my fix from the new Posts !
Day 7 nearly over
Thanks everyone
HUGXXXXXX
Lee
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Join Date: Oct 2003
Location: Melbourne victoria
Posts: 1,975
Well, day 7 has ended, cant believe it has been a week, and no drink! Tonite was a bit scarey , cos had a shift from Hell, at work, and the thought crossed my mind, a nice " Red " will be good when I get home . BUT I did not pour it ! had a long hot shower, and went to a meeting , and hey ! I was asked to share , and I did ! Mind you , not much to share , but everyone was very encouraging ! I feel blessed !
I have been going to different meetings each time , and have made some wonderful friends .
So far so good
HUGXX
Lee
I have been going to different meetings each time , and have made some wonderful friends .
So far so good
HUGXX
Lee
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Join Date: Sep 2003
Location: Central California
Posts: 859
Great!
(((Lee)))
Good for you 7 days. :clap Thats great that you shared at your meeting for the first time, you'll find that it gets easier each time, I'm so glad you are going to meetings and making friends. This is a one day at a time thing with this disease we all have, so hang in there and keep doing what you are doing, and one day at a time it will get better. Your doing great!
Love, your friend Bonni ((hugs))
Good for you 7 days. :clap Thats great that you shared at your meeting for the first time, you'll find that it gets easier each time, I'm so glad you are going to meetings and making friends. This is a one day at a time thing with this disease we all have, so hang in there and keep doing what you are doing, and one day at a time it will get better. Your doing great!
Love, your friend Bonni ((hugs))
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Join Date: Dec 2002
Location: Australia
Posts: 610
Congratulations Lee 7 days is an awesome effort and its great that you're sharing already. I started sharing as soon as I could too, made it so much easier for me and the support I found was wonderful.
Keep up the good work, it gets better!
Amy
7 days is an awesome effort and its great that you're sharing already. I started sharing as soon as I could too, made it so much easier for me and the support I found was wonderful.Keep up the good work, it gets better!
Amy
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Well, guys , I have stuffed it ! I am drinking tonite , no excuse really , just that I started 3 weeks holidays today the girls at work took me out and did not drink when out , but when they dropped me off , I am drinking , I am so scared re having 3 weeks at home with no car ! ICant go anywhere ! A bit lonely right now , in the sharing dept !
My friend who first took me to AA rang tonite , and I told her , but she was not judgemental, God love her ! She wil still be my friend she said
She is an Angel! I find it very hard to believe in pp , she proverd it
My friend who first took me to AA rang tonite , and I told her , but she was not judgemental, God love her ! She wil still be my friend she said
She is an Angel! I find it very hard to believe in pp , she proverd it
Paused
Join Date: Oct 2003
Location: Yorkshire UK
Posts: 103
I would also suggested you read the pamphlet 'Questions and Answers on Sponsorship' Relapsed?? Get back to a meeting ASAP!!! Use it aspart of your own experience, you will get many opportunities to use it to help a newcomer one day. No-one will judge you in AA.
Sponsorship for me is atwo-way street, I learn as much, if not MORE from the people I sponsor as I do from my sponsor. I was told in early days, that 'To GET sober, get a sponsor, to STAY sober get a sponsee' It's still working for me.
Sponsorship for me is atwo-way street, I learn as much, if not MORE from the people I sponsor as I do from my sponsor. I was told in early days, that 'To GET sober, get a sponsor, to STAY sober get a sponsee' It's still working for me.
Forward we go...side by side-Rest In Peace
Join Date: Jun 2002
Location: Serene In Dixie
Posts: 36,740
Gee Lee
you have 3 weeks to attend AA meetings....What a blessing God sent you!! :thumb
Get out of the house...on a bus and saturate your self with Recovery
The best is yet to be...
Get out of the house...on a bus and saturate your self with Recovery
The best is yet to be...
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Join Date: Oct 2003
Location: Melbourne victoria
Posts: 1,975
Thank you all AGAIN! Well, went to a Meeting this morning, felt fairly foolish, but everyone was great .am going again tonite , so feel much better .
Yes Chy you are right re the blessing of having 3 weeks off! I dug out the bus timetable, and took myself off, quite proud of myself actually
HUGXXX
Lee
Yes Chy you are right re the blessing of having 3 weeks off! I dug out the bus timetable, and took myself off, quite proud of myself actually
HUGXXX
Lee
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Join Date: Oct 2003
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Another great meeting tonite ! I am going to make the group I went to tonite my " home group" They are just the nicest bunch of people ! and so supportive.
We all went out for Pizza and cofee after the meeting, I have not done something like that for so long , preferred to close my curtains and drink alone !
I love meetings, and learn something new every time
HUGXXX
Lee
We all went out for Pizza and cofee after the meeting, I have not done something like that for so long , preferred to close my curtains and drink alone !
I love meetings, and learn something new every time
HUGXXX
Lee
Forward we go...side by side-Rest In Peace
Join Date: Jun 2002
Location: Serene In Dixie
Posts: 36,740
Good plan Lee...
joining the "meeting" after the meeting is a great way to make new sobwr friends.
I was single when I began AA...my home group had mostly singles. I think that is true in cities. We "AA dated" (my term) by often meeting for movies, plays and different AA meetings.
BtW...do not keep booze at home. I fot rid of my bar/stools/wine glasses etc. too. I started drinking my Diet Coke from big insulated mugs with a straw so as to not have the feel of a drink in my hand. Still do too!
Onward and upward we go Lee...
joining the "meeting" after the meeting is a great way to make new sobwr friends.
I was single when I began AA...my home group had mostly singles. I think that is true in cities. We "AA dated" (my term) by often meeting for movies, plays and different AA meetings.
BtW...do not keep booze at home. I fot rid of my bar/stools/wine glasses etc. too. I started drinking my Diet Coke from big insulated mugs with a straw so as to not have the feel of a drink in my hand. Still do too!
Onward and upward we go Lee...
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