Lily

Does it say in the big book anywhere that we should focus on similarties not differences or is that just NA? thanks, Sheila

RufusACanal

Sheila,

There is no specific phrase to this affect, though this below, for me symbolizes the essence of your post.

"We are like the passengers of a great liner the moment after rescue from shipwreck, when camaraderie, joyousness and democracy pervade the vessel from steerage to Captain's table. Unlike the feelings of the ship's passengers, however, our joy in escape from disaster does not subside as we go our individual ways. The feeling of having shared in a common peril is one element in the powerful cement which binds us. But that in itself would never have held us together as we are now joined.

The tremendous fact for every one of us that we have discovered a common solution.~ We have a way out on which we can absolutely agree, and upon which we can join in brotherly and harmonious action. This is the great news this book carries to those who suffer alcoholism."

Our common bond is not just the disease that has so ravished our lives, but the common solution that leads us together to a freedom unparalleled.

espresso

It is said at meetings usually in the context of welcoming the newcomer ;to sit back and relax and listen to the similarities and not the differences. Definitely said at AA and probably NA although I haven't been to an NA meeting for some time.

Tazman53

Chapter 7 delves into bringing similarities between our selfs and the newcomer, basically saying that it is important for the newcomer to see the similarities between us and not to focus on the differences. There is some excellent stuff in chapter 7 about helping a newcomer to relate in and not out.

lizw

In the AA daily meditations book the other day (I think it was) it talked about how it took the first alcoholic woman, in AA, nearly 6 or 7 years to get sober.

Then it went on to talk about how, in the early days, all smaller groups (like woman) thought they were 'different' and didn't need to work the program, hence why it took them a long time to get sober.
I think the term 'terminally unique' is what we'd use these days.

Couldn't tell you what book the quote was from tho.

RufusACanal

"But point out that we alcoholics have much in common and that you would like, in any case, to be friendly. Let it go at that."

IO Storm

Reminds me of "take what you need and leave the rest"...

Thanks Jo..