A Selfish Program
Guest
Join Date: Aug 2007
Location: Birmingham, AL
Posts: 1,924
I truly enjoy this topic when it comes round each time. Purpose, is the force behind my use of words and rarely is the sole purpose focused on communication. When I want to make a point, I can weave the words to suit that singular purpose, regardless of what that purpose is.
A “selfish program" is a reality to the new person, how could it not be? In early recover I clung to the idea that my not drinking was like drawing breath; to drink again was to die. If that is not selfish I don't know what is. Having only a fleeting knowledge of recovery, I was working an entirely selfish program, my singular fight for survival. Every man, woman or child who reaches for the extended hand of AA, is really only searching for the continuation of life without pain. Selfishness was a survival skill that I needed to insure my life; selflessness was not in my vocabulary, yet.
As each day came and went without a drink, I began to clear away the fog that had transfixed my mind for so many years; I became teachable. By going to more than ninety meetings in ninety days, I showed a resolve to grasp willingness and accept that I had been at death’s door and that the journey onward was to find a meaningful life. It took repetition to pound the message through to the inner man. Meetings provided a reconnection with my fellow man and a reintroduction to normalcy. In those early days, my world was small, so small that I needed a guide to find the sure footing. That guide was a Sponsor, another man who had been down the same path and who knew a way out of the pain and suffering I had endured for so many years. We would go on to learn together how to live one day at a time, how to “think”, how to surrender, how to simply be a part of the fabric of society. I was still working a “selfish program” and I would continue to work a selfish program until I learned to be selfless.
The question is not one of a “selfish program”, but rather when does one begin to grasp the significance of working a selfless program of recovery? Passing through the door of a new life means you no longer wrestle with the drink question, it has been lifted. You have faced your demons and those you have harmed, settled your debts and made reparations. You now have a practiced system of facing your defects of character and shortcomings through daily inventory and personal action. You have communications with a Power greater than you; sometimes clear, sometimes hazy, but communications nevertheless. With your growth you are now responsible to give to those who walk into our halls and our rooms the message of freedom you were given. You are no longer “working a program”, but rather you are living a new life that is the true reprieve from death. You have recovered from a seemingly hopeless condition. You daily guarantee the continuation of this new life with the extended hand, the extended effort and the giving of unconditional love by one who has been renewed, thereby bringing the journey full circle.
A “selfish program" is a reality to the new person, how could it not be? In early recover I clung to the idea that my not drinking was like drawing breath; to drink again was to die. If that is not selfish I don't know what is. Having only a fleeting knowledge of recovery, I was working an entirely selfish program, my singular fight for survival. Every man, woman or child who reaches for the extended hand of AA, is really only searching for the continuation of life without pain. Selfishness was a survival skill that I needed to insure my life; selflessness was not in my vocabulary, yet.
As each day came and went without a drink, I began to clear away the fog that had transfixed my mind for so many years; I became teachable. By going to more than ninety meetings in ninety days, I showed a resolve to grasp willingness and accept that I had been at death’s door and that the journey onward was to find a meaningful life. It took repetition to pound the message through to the inner man. Meetings provided a reconnection with my fellow man and a reintroduction to normalcy. In those early days, my world was small, so small that I needed a guide to find the sure footing. That guide was a Sponsor, another man who had been down the same path and who knew a way out of the pain and suffering I had endured for so many years. We would go on to learn together how to live one day at a time, how to “think”, how to surrender, how to simply be a part of the fabric of society. I was still working a “selfish program” and I would continue to work a selfish program until I learned to be selfless.
The question is not one of a “selfish program”, but rather when does one begin to grasp the significance of working a selfless program of recovery? Passing through the door of a new life means you no longer wrestle with the drink question, it has been lifted. You have faced your demons and those you have harmed, settled your debts and made reparations. You now have a practiced system of facing your defects of character and shortcomings through daily inventory and personal action. You have communications with a Power greater than you; sometimes clear, sometimes hazy, but communications nevertheless. With your growth you are now responsible to give to those who walk into our halls and our rooms the message of freedom you were given. You are no longer “working a program”, but rather you are living a new life that is the true reprieve from death. You have recovered from a seemingly hopeless condition. You daily guarantee the continuation of this new life with the extended hand, the extended effort and the giving of unconditional love by one who has been renewed, thereby bringing the journey full circle.
Member
Join Date: Oct 2002
Location: Zion, Illinois
Posts: 3,411
AA is not a selfish program but the way I work it IS!! If any of you think for one minute, I'd get up at 0200 to go out in the snow just to sober you up, you've got another think coming. I do it for my own sobriety. Whether you stay sober or not is your business, not mine. I remind you of the conversation Bill had with Lois in the kitchen when Bill was frustrated because the guys he was talking to weren't staying sober. Lois reminded him that even though he hadn't had success with others, he was sober because of his efforts.
AA is a secular program, unless of course I practice it religiously.
AA is a secular program, unless of course I practice it religiously.
'55 Classic
Join Date: Nov 2005
Location: Waco, TX
Posts: 637
Originally Posted by Music 
AA is not a selfish program but the way I work it IS!! If any of you think for one minute, I'd get up at 0200 to go out in the snow just to sober you up, you've got another think coming. I do it for my own sobriety. Whether you stay sober or not is your business, not mine. I remind you of the conversation Bill had with Lois in the kitchen when Bill was frustrated because the guys he was talking to weren't staying sober. Lois reminded him that even though he hadn't had success with others, he was sober because of his efforts.
AA is a secular program, unless of course I practice it religiously.
AA is a secular program, unless of course I practice it religiously.
The way it was explained to me is I have to do it for ME! I can't do it for my child, my husband, etc. I've got to do it for me and me alone. (Anyone you can get sober for you can get drunk because of...) Also, this was a very painful lesson that taught me that if I put anything in front of my Program (which is my conduit to God) and start giving that more importance (like a job, hobby, etc.), I will start to suffer because of it. I nearly went insane again because I was trying to fit AA into my life and not the other way around (fitting my life into AA). When I do that, I cut off that connection to God that only this program allowed me to find by working the AA principles. (It talks about being cut off from the "sunshine of the spirit" in the BB.) So for me it IS a selfish program because I've got to work it for MY benefit...not yours, mine. We can talk about how I am duly obligated to give away that which was freely given to me on another occasion.
Guest
Join Date: Aug 2007
Location: Birmingham, AL
Posts: 1,924
Think of the process to recover in stages. Sheryl hits the mark in that we are barely babes to a new life. Of course we are selfish! We do not have the capacity to be selfless. Did you think that the admission to a fantastic new life was free or that there was some small door in your head that allowed easy access for pouring new thinking and new behaviors in to correct insanity? Of course not, you were a slobbering pile of humanity looking for the easist escape routine from the agony of your plight when you came to AA.
Follow Directions!
Join Date: Nov 2006
Location: Fredericksburg, Va.
Posts: 9,730
"Be quick to see where religious people are right. Make use of what they offer."
Faith, love, forgiveness, and tolerance are a part of almost every religion, it is also a part of spirituality and recovery.
Bugs does it say Christ, Buddah, Mohammed, Vishna?
Bugs does it say to go to Temple, or to Church..... Mecca?
What religion do you see they are saying you or any one else must convert to?
If you are saying or thinking AA is a religion it is the first one I ever heard of where one finds thier own God of thier understanding!
My HP who I call God for the sake of conveniance I can assure you is not the same as any one elses........ yet at the same time he is.
If I called him Allah would that make me Muslim?
If I called him Vishna would that make me a Hindu?
If I called him Harry what would that make me?
My HPs name is irrelevant, he has no denomination, he is simply my creator and he loves me.
I am spiritual, I belong to no faith or denomination, nor do I belong to any religion. In my opinion Religions, all of them are of man. Religions are mans way of worshipping a Higher Power that they believe in, I am not worshipping, I have simply turned the care of my will and my life over to a Power Greater then myself.
by religion controversy
Member
Join Date: Feb 2008
Posts: 170
Rob for you its not selfish and for others it is.
My drinking days could best be described as being self-serving, serving my own interest especially without the needs or concerns of others often disregarding the truth, interests, and well being of others. It isn’t surprising now that I am sober real tolerance of other people’s shortcomings and respect for their opinions are what makes me more useful to others.
I picked up a new guy a few days ago and I told him I would bring him to a meeting last night. My wife was sick with the flu and she wanted me to stay home. I choose to go to the meeting with the new guy, was that selfish or was that working my program? I’d say it was a little of both but there is no right or wrong only what I choose to keep track off.
My drinking days could best be described as being self-serving, serving my own interest especially without the needs or concerns of others often disregarding the truth, interests, and well being of others. It isn’t surprising now that I am sober real tolerance of other people’s shortcomings and respect for their opinions are what makes me more useful to others.
I picked up a new guy a few days ago and I told him I would bring him to a meeting last night. My wife was sick with the flu and she wanted me to stay home. I choose to go to the meeting with the new guy, was that selfish or was that working my program? I’d say it was a little of both but there is no right or wrong only what I choose to keep track off.
Life the gift of recovery!
Join Date: Aug 2007
Location: Home is where the heart is
Posts: 7,061
Originally Posted by Sheryl85
Oh Pooh! Just about the time I start getting the spelling thing under control, I have a brain fart and use the wrong expression!
The phrase is "Sunlight of the Spirit" not Sunshine.
The phrase is "Sunlight of the Spirit" not Sunshine.
Member
Join Date: Nov 2007
Posts: 1,697
Maybe once you have experienced a psychic change the meaning of 'selfish' looks a little different.
After all, "the best way for me to get mine is to make sure you get yours".
I can see how it appears selfish, but I think it's a bit more altruistic (that word even falls short) of what's really going on.
We are looking at a word, when really we need action and experience or else it truly has no meaning.
After all, "the best way for me to get mine is to make sure you get yours".
I can see how it appears selfish, but I think it's a bit more altruistic (that word even falls short) of what's really going on.
We are looking at a word, when really we need action and experience or else it truly has no meaning.
Member
Join Date: May 2007
Location: Cumming, Ga
Posts: 665
Bill wrote a letter in 1966 dealing with this very issue in As Bill See's It page 81. In essence stating that unless I am sober I am of no use to anyone including myself. This is a right and necessary self concern. My experience has shown that drunk or separated from a drink I remain only concerned with getting mine. Experience has also shown that when I work the steps and apply the principles to my life, I will have a shift which takes me to a place where my concern is you getting yours. Every single time, the result has been me getting mine. Here's the kicker....the unflattering point of departure will always bring me back to this....making sure you get yours.
Member
Join Date: Jun 2006
Location: UK
Posts: 1,415
My experience has shown that drunk or separated from a drink I remain only concerned with getting mine. Experience has also shown that when I work the steps and apply the principles to my life, I will have a shift which takes me to a place where my concern is you getting yours. Every single time, the result has been me getting mine. Here's the kicker....the unflattering point of departure will always bring me back to this....making sure you get yours.
Then I read it again...
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