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Old 12-24-2006, 05:56 PM
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Small craving

The last 60 days haven't been a cakewalk, but they haven't really been that difficult either. I have a lovely sense of serenity (Thank God).

Tonight, however, I have had fleeting thoughts of drink. I'm by myself, who would know ?

Anyway, I've got a 7:00 meeting, I'll be OK. Besides, I wanna be around for New Years. (2008)
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Old 12-24-2006, 07:36 PM
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Dear GP,

you did the right thing by sharing about that fleeting craving. I am pulling for you to stay the sober course...think that drink ALL the way through, to the bitter, lousy, stinking end...and don't go there!

Instead, we will all be here all day/night to support you if it comes back.

Way to go!
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Old 12-24-2006, 08:34 PM
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Hi GP, congrats again on your 60 days!

I'd like to share a couple of things in my own experience that I hope you will find helpful. I found that my disease really talked to me at 30, 60 and 90 days and then milestones like 6, 9, 12 and 18 months. I would get those nagging thoughts that because I hadn't drank in xx amount of days maybe, just maybe, I wasn't really an alcoholic or maybe this time I COULD control it. It was at those times I had to incorporate the tools given to me in the rooms of AA. 1. Pray and ask for the thoughts to be removed. 2. Call someone in recovery. 3. Get my butt to a meeting and share. 4. Get busy and do something to get my mind off of a drink. 5. Play that tape through to the end. Remember exactly what it was like when I walked into AA a shaking and puking mess so utterly hopeless and defeated. Was a drink really worth going back to that? No it's not. Is a drink going to change anything? Yes, it will make it worse. Not only will the problem still be there but it will be compounded by the hangover, guilt, shame and remorse.

Last thing I want to share with you is something that was told to me when I brought up the "fleeting thoughts" I was having in a meeting. I was told that I had no control over that first thought (that's my disease talking) but I had TOTAL control over that second one which is where I decided what I was going to do with that first thought. I can't explain why but it comforted me and I hope it will help you as well.

Hugs,
Kellye
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Old 12-24-2006, 08:54 PM
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Thanks Miss and Kelly.

Just got back from a GREAT meeting. Very small and intimate, but still decades of sobriety there.

The feeling has passed, as I knew it would.

Kelly, your drinking history sounds a lot like mine. Seems it had you physically pretty bad (asw it did me). Yeah, my first night, God I was a mess......

Lastly, I know I have another drunk in me. I don't know if I have another recovery. One drink and who knows where I'll end up ? Dead ?

Thanks again.
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Old 12-24-2006, 09:09 PM
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GP, glad you made it to a meeting and the feeling passed. Each time that happens and we don't give into it we become a little bit stronger I think.

Hang in there. You will soon be celebrating your first sober Christmas!! Now how cool is that?

Hugs,
Kellye
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Old 12-26-2006, 07:04 AM
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You know I really do not let the fleeting thoughts bug me, I seem to be able to blow them away by simply asking myself I am willing to throw away XX (99 at this typing) days of sobriety? The answer has always been no!!

I did have a HUGE URGE hit me once when I had one thing hit me after another one day that finally got me so POed I said out loud "F it! I am getting a drink!" WOW was I shocked and scared at the same time, I prayed the first line of the serentity prayer over and over again until I got home and called some folks in my network and later my sponsor, prayer and talking about it got me through.

Glad to hear you resisted and did the right thing GP, good job following directions.
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Old 12-26-2006, 10:43 AM
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Tonight, however, I have had fleeting thoughts of drink. I'm by myself, who would know ?
I'm tempted too sometimes, but I don't want the stuff that for me always comes with taking a drink. Such a small sacrifice and so much gained by making it!
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Old 12-26-2006, 10:54 AM
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At just over 2 weeks in I'm TERRIFIED of drinking...I'm terrified the urge will hit and I will get to a drink faster than I can think about it. I read something here about praying for the space between reaction and impulse and that's something I'm holding fast to. I do not live alone and there is booze in my house...red wine ..and its' my kryptonite. Just this morning I looked at the wine rack and felt a twinge and then shuddered when I thought of the misery that bottle of wine caused me...all that it robbed from me. Yet still I know I will have my urges...and I pray for strength, clarity and a sound mind when they come. My mind will NEVER be sound with alcohol.
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Old 12-26-2006, 10:59 AM
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Stay strong.
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Old 12-26-2006, 10:34 PM
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Hello GP,
You did the right thing with your craving. We have no control over our first thoughts. We can control our second and third thoughts. When I get the first thought of a drink, I use my second and third thoughts to set my mind back on the right path.

For me, I believe drinking got deeply ingrained in my subconsious. I'm not surprised these thoughts creep into my consious mind from time to time. I can't stop these things from crossing the line from sub to consious mind. The danger is to let a consious thought develop into a fantasy. If I do that, I'm not sure I won't be screwed..... I always play the tape to the end, and never forget my bottom. I don't dwell on the good times of my drinking. My addiction wants me to sweep the bad stuff under the rug, and hopelessly chase the good times. If my addiction didn't want me dead, it wouldn't be so hard to quit..... I'm grateful that the alcohol is out of my system now. In sobriety, I can look at my cravings in a rational way. I can deal with them in a proper way, and realize what they are and why I have them.

I have the odd craving because I am an alcoholic. I can accept this and deal with it when it comes. I'm grateful that the cravings don't come as often anymore. It's a miracle that I've had less and less cravings the longer I've been sober.... AA has really helped me with this. I believe my HP has lifted the obsession.

Welcome Nuudawn! Welcome Wayne C! I'm not sure if I've *seen* either of you around this forum yet, and I wish to extend a warm SR welcome to each of you. Thanks for joining us!
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Old 12-27-2006, 11:54 AM
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Originally Posted by Wayne C. View Post
Stay strong.
Stay weak.

When I start relying on my own strength, that's when I'm in deep ****.
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Old 12-28-2006, 08:55 AM
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Craving, craving... There's a Thich Nhat Hanh prayer that has the phrase "let me be free from the burdens of craving and aversion." You know what's always helped me? Remembering that God's not going to give me anything I can't handle, so if it's there, it means I can take it. Cravings suck, though, fleeting as they may be. Stay strong, keep on truckin...
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