Adult child of sex addict

Old 09-06-2020, 02:50 PM
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Adult child of sex addict

My momAnd stepdad raised me And my stepdad was a sex addict. I personally fell victim to his addiction.
Back story: My biological father left when I was 8 months old and my mom remarried when I was 4. He took on the role of my father and even wanted to officially adopt me. Stepdad was an IT guy. Knows computers better than anyone I've ever known. Fast forward 17 years, my mom and him had divorced but he and I remained close. As I said before, he took on the role of "dad" to me, even after their divorce. I was 22 at the time and I was actually about to move in with him, into my old childhood room, until I figured out what I wanted to do after college. My grandma had been living with him but due to her health she needed to move to assisted living. My step dad had a funeral to attend in Washington so over that same weekend my mom and I decided to move my grandma. I wanted to help relieve some stress from my mom so I told her that Saturday night I was going to stay at my stepdad's house (it was the house I grew up in) since nobody would be there and I'd finish packing the rest of my grandma's belongings. Long story short, I had to get more boxes from the master bedroom. I hadn't been in that room since my parents were still married 5 years prior. I had no reason to so I'm not sure how long it had been like this... The bathroom had stacks of paper with printed pictures of naked young girls. There was a laptop with a fold out chair in front of it. I knew something was wrong but I couldn't quite process it. I turned the laptop on and there I was. It was me. Naked. (I had a serious boyfriend in college and we had taken some pictures/videos with each other.) I had them in a hidden folder on my laptop. The laptop that my dad said he "needed to run updates on" and then told me it crashed and bought me a much more expensive one. He took my pictures and then made it his background on his computer. I opened the drawer underneath the laptop and took the usbs I found inside. I grabbed the computer and ran out of the room. The first usb I put in had every single picture my ex and I had taken. Except, he cropped my ex out and in case he wasn't messed up enough, he then sharpened the images. I went through a dark few years after that. Now it's been almost 10 years and now I find myself struggling to find a place I feel I "fit in" with my trauma. I know other people have situations way worse than mine But I also think I'm validated to feel a certain kind of way.
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Old 09-06-2020, 05:42 PM
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Hi and welcome

I'm really sorry that happened to you - it must have been an incredible violation for you and very traumatic.
I'm glad you found us, and I hope you'll find support here.

Did you ever consider reporting your stepdad to the authorities?

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Old 09-06-2020, 06:55 PM
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I'm sorry too for what happened to you.

I wonder if reporting the situation to the police and going through the legal system would help you to find some closure?
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Old 09-06-2020, 10:32 PM
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thank you all. Iím glad I finally found a forum for support.
I actually tried that in the beginning.
the legal system is seriously flawed.
I got told I had no case because:
a. He was not a family member (he wasnít blood related and he didnít adopt me)
b. I willingly handed him my computer knowing I had said hidden media files.
c. I was 18 when the videos and pictures were taken.
From a legal standpoint he did not break any laws.
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Old 09-06-2020, 10:47 PM
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I'm sorry that was the advice you were given. Doesn't seem right to me, but I'm not in the US.

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Old 12-07-2020, 10:49 AM
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Late reply Chipsandcheese8, but I am so sorry you had to go experience that. Clearly he is sick and broke all kinds of boundaries. Have you ever had counseling to deal with the trauma. It is very important.

It seems this part of the board is really slow lately (I am just recently back here myself). I hope you find the support you need and post back here if you ever feel like it.
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Old 12-08-2020, 03:29 AM
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Thumbs up

I am so sorry to read about this traumatic experience
you have and are going thru.

In todays time, there have been so many that they
themselves have gone thru similar to same experiences
as you and have finally found the support and strength
to stand up and speak about what has happened to
them and put the sick perpetrators on trial and in the
hot seat.

These sick people have to be found accountable for
their sick behaviors and pay for it. To not let them
continue to get away with it. To know that they picked
the wrong person to mess with.

I hope and pray you get the help you need, your voice,
your strength to stand tall and firm against this person
so that he can never do this to another again.

I'm sure it will be a challenge and it may take time, but
i hope you find those to be in your corner to help bring this
sick person down.

Support and strength strong all the way to reach a healthy,
happy person you can be down the road for yrs to come.
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