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Feeling torn

Old 07-08-2016, 01:50 PM
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Feeling torn

We received some great news - my daughter and her husband are expecting, and we found out this week they are expecting twins!
It's such happy and exciting news, even though it's terrifying especially for them LOL
But it made me start thinking of my mother that I haven't talked to in almost 2 years.
Makes me think I should try to get in touch, see how she's doing, maybe she's better, this is such good news it seems cruel not to tell her blah blah blah
So, I probably won't try to get in touch because I know where it leads. And if she was "better" wouldn't she have tried to get in touch with me to tell me she's sorry and doing better?
I will resist... but sometimes it's hard.
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Old 07-10-2016, 11:58 AM
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Originally Posted by ajarlson View Post
... Makes me think I should try to get in touch,...I probably won't try to get in touch because I know where it leads. ...
Over in the al-anon meets they call that "no contact". They have a little slogan about "no new contacts means no new hurts"

Originally Posted by ajarlson View Post
...I will resist... but sometimes it's hard. ...
Yes it is. I go thru that too. I get this "relapse" where my fantasies start to sound more and more real. It's almost like I have an "addiction to fantasies" and I should join a meeting of "Fantasies Anonymous"

Mike
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Old 07-11-2016, 03:15 PM
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I like that slogan. It's not that I mind getting hurt, I realize that we don't grow or find new happiness if we don't take risks. What I mind is that she does not feel remorse for the hurt she causes. My XAH was the same, no remorse. For some reason that bothers me more than the original transgression.
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Old 07-11-2016, 03:20 PM
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I hear ya, had much difficulty with that also.

No remorse means no conscience means...?

I like the no contact slogan too btw, so true.
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