Sarah0404

When I think about my dad, I think about alcohol. I didn't realise his problem until I got older, but even then, I had my doubts until recently. I just thought he liked to drink, but wasn't sure if he was an alcoholic. I haven't lived with him for a while, but when he came to visit me for a week, I saw how he was drinking more than I remember when I was growing up... and his personality has just changed. I can't stand to talk to him when he's been drinking... which is hard to avoid, since he drinks day and night. It seems almost non-stop.

I love him because he's my dad and we have good memories and stuff, but I don't like the person he has become. I never liked who he was when he drank, but never imagined that it's gotten worse now. Unfortunately, his new wife has to suffer because of it too. The things she's told me about him now also made me realise that's it gotten worse.

I couldn't even enjoy my visit with him, which is what I was looking forward to, since he lives in another country and I see him once a year or less... but after that visit with him, which just confirmed that he really IS an alcoholic... it was just so depressing.

I don't think I could ever bring it up to him, because I wouldn't know how to... or if it would make a difference.

lynx

My dad was also an alcoholic. While I was growing up it went through patches of okay, to bad, to worse! But mostly it was bad. Right up until the day he died last year he drank. He couldnt handle life without a drinking binge at least 4 nights a week. Of course for most of that he was drinking in the day too because he would go to bed around 7am and then get up about 11am and drink more... then go to bed for hours until evening and drink again... it would be a never ending circle until he ran out of alcohol.

It made him really ill on many occasions and even that didnt stop him. He was basically on a road of self destruction and it finally caught up with him last year. I also hated him when he drank, he was a different person, a nasty horrible person!

I cant really advise you because I never had the courage to tell my dad he was a drunk and that i hated what he was doing. Although he should have realised this by the times I stayed away! They dont though, unless you tell them. And they keep on doing it because they cant see the harm they do to others, and they dont seem to care what harm they do to theirselves.

angelsneverdie

My dad is an alcoholic, but i never realised this fully until a couple of years ago. I cant say what would be the best situation for you. Chances are that if he hasnt accpepted the reality to himself you saying anything to him will fall on deaf ears.
The flip side to that is that if you were to tell him, hearing it come from his daughter could strike a part of him making him realise what the reality is.

rippin

Hi Sarah, Lynx, and Angel,
My father's an alcoholic too. I feel like he contributed to the environment of drugs and alcohol in the household. It makes me mad because now all of his children are screwed up on drugs and alcohol. I was screwed up too. Now I just want to separate myself completely, because the alcohol and drugs are ruining my life. It seems like a harsh thing to do, but I'm too weak to be around family especially when alcohol and drugs are present. I've made a commitment to be sober now.
Sarah, I'm sorry your father's drinking has taken a turn for the worse. You must be upset by this and I can understand that. Only you know if you can bring alcoholism up to your dad. That's not usually something a father wants to hear, but you know his ways best. I can understand why Lynx and Angel don't say anything about it. Men have to make the choice for themselves.
I hope all of you find strength somewhere else. That's the hardest thing for me...to find the father inside of me.
Prayers, Jen