Need Advice... Both of my parents are alcoholics
Monica
Thread Starter
Join Date: Sep 2004
Location: Coraopolis, PA
Posts: 36
Need Advice... Both of my parents are alcoholics
Wanted to get some advice or suggestions...
Both of my parents are alcoholics and i don't look down upon them because i too am a herion addict (in recovery). I guess my problem is that i'm working a program and there not. I do know I can't change them but to be totally honest i expect them to change or at least not drink around me. Who am i? thats how i feel, they see it as i really screwed up my life with drugs and they didn't. I guess you would call them functional, but i know that growing up in that house was not a piece of cake. I'm living with my aunt who is in recovery, but i'll be going home to my parents soon. The only reason i'm going home is that my son lives with them. I do wish i could move out on my own but because of all the crap I did in my addiction i have nothing (yet). I'm really hoping that when my parents see my new way of life maybe they'll question their drinking. I can only hope and pray right??? Monica
Both of my parents are alcoholics and i don't look down upon them because i too am a herion addict (in recovery). I guess my problem is that i'm working a program and there not. I do know I can't change them but to be totally honest i expect them to change or at least not drink around me. Who am i? thats how i feel, they see it as i really screwed up my life with drugs and they didn't. I guess you would call them functional, but i know that growing up in that house was not a piece of cake. I'm living with my aunt who is in recovery, but i'll be going home to my parents soon. The only reason i'm going home is that my son lives with them. I do wish i could move out on my own but because of all the crap I did in my addiction i have nothing (yet). I'm really hoping that when my parents see my new way of life maybe they'll question their drinking. I can only hope and pray right??? Monica
Supply Manager
Join Date: Feb 2002
Location: Cleaverville
Posts: 2,898
Lang...I have a son who is an alcoholic so I have opinions about this. His father drinks (functionally) and does drink around him. I think it is wrong but what is a girl to do? My son feels like you do and what I tell him is that he is going to encounter drinking wherever he goes unless he becomes a monk.
Another thing I would tell my son is to get out on his own as soon as he can so he can control his environment. Believe me I undertand what you are up against. I don't know how old you are but my son is 30. You can keep busy with work and meetings, you can hang with your recovery buddies and stay below the radar at home. If you are living in your parents home you can be accountable for your whereabouts, you can help out and keep your quarters neat and you can buy your mother some ice cream from time to time.
See I am a mom so I have plenty to say...I truly wish you well. Stay busy, stay out of their hair and be nice to your mom!
(((Hugs)))
JT
Another thing I would tell my son is to get out on his own as soon as he can so he can control his environment. Believe me I undertand what you are up against. I don't know how old you are but my son is 30. You can keep busy with work and meetings, you can hang with your recovery buddies and stay below the radar at home. If you are living in your parents home you can be accountable for your whereabouts, you can help out and keep your quarters neat and you can buy your mother some ice cream from time to time.
See I am a mom so I have plenty to say...I truly wish you well. Stay busy, stay out of their hair and be nice to your mom!
(((Hugs)))
JT
believer
Join Date: Aug 2002
Location: walking in faith
Posts: 1,023
Hi Monica,
Congratulations on your recovery! You sound like you're trying to put your life back together and you should be proud of the progress you've made.
As for your parents, until they realize their drinking is a problem, they won't seek recovery. Hopefully when they see how recovery has changed your life it will have an affect on them. But in the meantime, it's best to focus on your own recovery and making a plan to start a new life for yourself and your son.
Take care,
JG
Congratulations on your recovery! You sound like you're trying to put your life back together and you should be proud of the progress you've made.
As for your parents, until they realize their drinking is a problem, they won't seek recovery. Hopefully when they see how recovery has changed your life it will have an affect on them. But in the meantime, it's best to focus on your own recovery and making a plan to start a new life for yourself and your son.
Take care,
JG
Monica
Thread Starter
Join Date: Sep 2004
Location: Coraopolis, PA
Posts: 36
Thanks for advice and kind words JT and JG, I'm not so sure its them drinking around me its just when they start laughing and sounding like their having a good time. Thats when i start to question myself about drinking ever again? I know that I can't change people but hopefully like you said they will see me and maybe they'll want a new way of life.
Mon
Mon
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