GenusUnknown

My experiences with drunks have not endeared them to me at all, and I've reached a point now where I just flat-out hate them. I mean that. If someone comes up to me with booze on their breath and drool on their lips, I have the same visceral reaction as if I'd just stepped on a dead rat with my bare feet. It's just this sudden gut feeling of dread and disgust.

I've dropped friends because they drink too much. Even if I never saw them drunk, I just can't feel safe around someone that I know is a heavy drinker. You just never know what they're gonna do, y'know? Can't trust them, can't predict them, can't be friends with them.

I've stopped going to trivia at the bar, because that's where drunks hang out, and I don't want to see or hear (or smell!) them.

I don't get in anyone's face about it, and I never told my old friends why I don't stay in touch.

So am I, like, I dunno... an *******? Are my feelings toward drunks out of line? Should I show up again at my heavy-drinking friends' board game nights? Should I swallow my distaste and start accompanying my lovely non-drinking girlfriend out to trivia?

biminiblue

I think listen to your gut in every instance.

If you don't want to be around them, don't. No second guessing is necessary. I stay away from a lot of people who are bad for me in one way or another. Life is too short

thotful

You have a right to decide where you feel safe, where you feel unsafe, etc and act accordingly. The only thing I would be concerned about is if you're feeling resentment/judgment to the point that it becomes like taking poison in - Just as you try to keep the unsafe behavior out to keep you safe, I would suggest that you also think about keeping poisonous judgment out. It makes a lot of sense to absolutely hate the smell of alcohol, what it does to people. Heck, I hate alcohol as well. I've tried to detach with love. Love my father, and hate his disease.

Regardless of what you're feeling inside, I wholeheartedly support never stepping foot in a bar again. You have a friend you want to see who doesn't drink? You don't have to go to trivia to see them - you could invite that person somewhere else - a movie, coffee, the park, dinner, each other's homes, etc - ie, places where you feel safe.

Just my two cents. I don't know what's best for you. Take my thoughts with their grain of salt. My gut says - go with your gut and protect you.

I once felt triggered at a bar (hey, have a glass of whiskey says the bartender - or inebriated individuals staring at me) - my wife noticed my discomfort and suggested that I could eat outside. I was out in 2 seconds. I love it when I have understanding people who get it and are willing to support my efforts to be safe: emotionally, physically, mentally, and spiritually.

Best to you.

Kialua

I have been there with you GenusUnknown. Course I had my own drinking problem as a teen and had quit totally. So being around drunks, alcoholics or not, was just NO fun. Certainly I had no trust of an drunk after being raised beaten by one so I had to replace my entire social life, and relatives were chosen very carefully. This has been decades. I have finally reached the point that I can tolerate a drunken alcoholic without hatred IF he isn't hurting anyone but himself, no wife or kids involved.

MikeH

I agree with Thotful, biminiblue, and Kialua.

You need to be able to set your own boundaries, and be around people that respect you for that.

bookmaven

Replace the drug of choice with heroin or crack. Is it out of line to not want to be around crack heads? Alcohol is a drug. Alcoholics are addicts. It doesn't matter what their drug of choice is.

I don't feel safe or comfortable around users.

I'm in recovery and I have no business being in a bar for any reason whatsoever. Not for food (chicken wings), not for trivia, not even to watch hockey.

I didn't even like being around drunks when I was a drunk myself. I hated them and I hated myself for being like them.

Gross.