Black Bird

Hey all, hope you are doing well. I am not new to this recovery forum, but I am new to this particular one. I am a Alcholic and I go to AA. My parents were both A, my father quit and has been sober for some time. My mother has not. I was never close to my mother until I started drinking with her. We became drinking buds. When I realized my drinking had spiraled out of control. I needed to stop and get help. Since I told my mother I quit drinking, we are now back to that relationship of distance. I feel she may even be mad at me for not drinking. Abandoning her in a way. It is very important for me not to be alone with her in my early recovery. I have never really said these feelings to anyone. I feel sad that when people say you may lose some drinking friends when you get sober...I guess I wasn't prepared for it to be my mom. I have a lot of sad feelings over this. Thanks for listening

wiscsober

Thank you....you helped me.

In the loss of friends you will gain many more.

I think of wrapping up chapters when writing a book. Move on.

Time to write new ones. But all of the chapters are still part of the whole.

Soberpotamus

I'm sorry you've lost your mom as a drinking pal. But wiscsober is right, you now can have more friends who are sober friends, and much better for you.

Glad you posted.

Kialua

Welcome. I saw this with my siblings. After a lifetime of being beat by my AF my siblings started drinking with him when they were old enough, and then would be all happy. They eventually saw through it and still got the raw end of the stick anyway and went no contact.

FreedomSought

I'm new to ACA, too. My family is very abusive and everyone drinks or drugs. I started to smoke with my mom and I thought we were getting to know each other. Now I get paranoid that she was finding some way to control me. So now I have a chemical dependence thats rooted in with letting go of the idea of getting to know my mom. Kinda sucks. My mom & dad were really violent growing up, I don't know who was "worse" or whatever, but I was pretty scared.

justbeachy

When my mom starting drinking again(since I've been an adult), we drank together too. It definitely made it harder for me to quit when I needed to and we don't have a relationship right now. It hurts, but it's best for me right now. I'm sorry you are sad about your mom, but you are taking care of yourself in the best way- the way our parents SHOULD have cared for us all- and that's the important thing.