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Anyone have any answers???

Old 05-09-2004, 07:05 PM
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Anyone have any answers???

How does one learn to let go of irrational attachments? How come I can't seem to let go of a relationship thats over? I've finally learned to express some emotion, and not hide it and pretend that everything is ok, and that helped out some, but here it is weeks later and I'm still hanging on to something thats gone. I still can't sleep or eat. Thank God I don't drink or I would be in full blown binge mode if I did. I know that I don't need someone in my life to be complete, and that eventually I will find someone else, but that just isn't helping me right now, and I've got to find a way to get past it. Help.....
-Razor
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Old 05-10-2004, 06:13 AM
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Dancing To My Own Beat
 
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Re: Anyone have any answers???

Hi razor,
I am discovering that strong emotions take time to let go of. I have been in the process of my personal inventory, and I have carried things for years. The process of the steps is helping me to sort out and see clearly why I am holding on, but I still have a long way to go to really let go. Being involved in alanon and the friends I have made there is helping. Before, I couldn't let go at all. Now I can let go for a while, then I have to process it again. It's progress. Don't feel alone. Hugs, Magic
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Old 05-10-2004, 07:10 AM
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((((razor))))
I agree with Magic, strong emotions are hard to let go of.
When I'm trying to move beyond something, I try to make room for something new in my life. Not necessarily a new relationship, but some new direction to move in that will fill the void left by what I need to let go of.
That may just be distraction and redirection on my part, but it helps when I'm trying to let go of the past.
Peace,
Gabe
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Old 05-10-2004, 09:16 PM
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Re: Anyone have any answers???

Originally Posted by Magichappens
The process of the steps is helping me to sort out and see clearly why I am holding on, but I still have a long way to go to really let go.
Thank you for saying this, its something that I really needed to hear. I sometimes forget about how far it is I have to go, and need to remember that life is a journey, not a destination. I just have to keep telling myself in my own internal dialogue to let go, and everything will work out alright. Its so hard to release the reigns sometimes and admit that we are powerless to certain things.
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Old 05-11-2004, 05:26 AM
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Hi Razor,

What you are feeling is not unusual. You have no doubt made a large emotional investment in the relationship and just like other investments (financial or otherwise) you want to see it work and be successful. When it's not, there is a let down. There is a loss that needs to be mourned. So, no need to beat yourself up for feeling the way you do. You will heal.


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Old 05-11-2004, 09:15 PM
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((((((((((((((((Razor)))))))))))))))-

I believe as acoa"s we fear abandonment even though our attachments are often unhealthy. This loss you are going through is painful but, you will get through it. Change is difficult for us. Try to keep in mind that the relationship didn't end because there is something wrong with you or, that you did something wrong. The only thing that is certain is change. Now you have the space to enjoy knowing yourself and to prepare yourself to make choices that that are in harmony with a person who knows themself better. Take good care of yourself razor.
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