Affecting your kids

Old 04-10-2013, 01:01 PM
  # 1 (permalink)  
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Join Date: Apr 2013
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Affecting your kids

If you loved your kids enough, wouldnt you stop drinking for them? After going to rehab for a month, dont your kids expect you not to drink anymore? thats what i thought. I've been through a lot then most kids have, a alcoholic mom. Last summer my mom went to rehab, it worked for about 3 months but then she started drinking again. Having a parent go to rehab is hard, especially if your my age.

I helped take care of my little brother for a month and went to school and just hoped nobody would find out about the situation. I was (and still am) very embarrased about the whole "alcoholic mom" problem i was facing. I just wanted her not to drink, thats where all the problems start with our family. My dad knows shes an alcoholic, but he doesnt realize how it affects me. He talks to me about it sometimes but never wonders how i deal with it. A lot of times, i can just sense when my moms been drinking. She knows shes not supposed to, she does go to AA meetings but it clearly does nothing for her. For example, last night i was watching tv and my mom was acting weird and i knew she was drunk. i asked her if she had been drinking, she said she had a few beers. I always say to her, "isnt the whole point of going to rehab, and going to AA not to drink at all?? the whole reason for these things is to be sober one day. She thinks its ok for her to drink a few beers when she wants. SHe has no idea that she's crushed me. She's let me down, and my little brother. Nothing will make her stop anymore, she doesnt see it as a problem nowadays. When i tell her i hate having a drunk mom around she just ignores me and says "ya ya ya... im not drunk so be quiet" its just a big fat lie. Some days she's a great, involved mom who comes home and makes dinner. Some days its a trip to the beer store and drink and then try and hide it from the kids.
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Old 04-10-2013, 01:27 PM
  # 2 (permalink)  
Living in a Pinkful Place
MsPINKAcres's Avatar
Join Date: May 2006
Location: Louisiana
Posts: 7,545

I hate so much that you are in this situation - please know - Your Mom's drinking has NOTHING to do with you!!

You didn't cause it
You can't control it
You can't cure it

It's not about not loving you enough - it's about the disease of alcoholism.

Yes it is hard for you - please keep reading here and expressing your feelings - if you have a chance - maybe can you see if there are some Alateen meetings you can go to -
They would probably help a bunch to talk to other people your age that are in the same situation.

If not, maybe your Dad could order you some of the Alateen books -

But, please remember - she doesn't drink because she doesn't love you - she drinks because she has the disease of alcoholism.

please keep reaching out for help here there are many of us who have been children of alcoholics and we understand

pink hugs (hope, unity gratitude and serenity)
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Old 04-10-2013, 03:29 PM
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Kialua's Avatar
Join Date: Sep 2011
Posts: 1,438
Hi, welcome. You are right the point is to stop drinking but some never do. My dad didn't quit drinking till he was 80. and then only quit because he was thrown in jail for trying to shoot my mom. So you need to think about yourself and how to live happy no matter what she does or doesn't do. Nothing you do is just cause to make her drink, so don't think that. Alcoholic look for, make up, and find excuses to drink whether you are involved or not. It's just who they are. Please try to find an Alateen program near you or get some books like MsPINKAcres said. Focus on you and she will do what she does. She may get better or she may get worse. But you can be happy, I know it sounds impossible but believe me, you can do it. Read through some stickies above and keep posting.
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