Workin

This seems to be one of the things I most struggle with right now (far too much tough stuff going on in my life right now). How not to get sucked into the depths of the pit when things look so bad, in the moment.

I can see that whole moment thing right now while I'm not in the midst of it. The tough part is remembering that when I am in the midst of it.

Voices of experience and words of wisdom are most welcome on this subject. How do you stay in the moment when the moment is a dark one and realize that it is only a moment... or series of moments, rather that sliding headlong into black and white forever and ever thinking?

dollydo

I attempt to live my life one moment at a time, nothing in life remains constant , it is forever changing. As soon as I find myself in a dark moment I hatch a plan to move forward beyond the moment. Planning and enacting a new plan, is my survival tool, it is not so much the circumstance one is involved in...it's how one handles it.

Planning affords me a starting point, enacting the plan provides me with the way out of the moment.

Workin

Thanks, DollyDo! :-)

I am able to do that with most things, fortunately. I think the world would be a very dark place indeed otherwise.

My struggle is with ongoing, serious and significant challenges that will continue for at least several years to come. This is where I get sucked into the pit and lose my ability to be in the moment only. If I could, I would walk away from the worst of it but that would mean also walking away from my daughter which I refuse to do. I am the only family contact she has with any regularity (such as it is) who is not narcissistic or a child younger than she.

Unfortunately, when it happens, that darkness bleeds over into other challenge areas in my life making it that much harder in those areas as well. The day to day stuff is totally manageable. It is this bigger stuff I struggle with.

DavidG

I have reached a point in my life where I am able to live 'in the present'.

Was a time when I was surrounded by 'what if's' and 'if onlys'.

I am not sure exactly how I got here... maybe it was 'the wisdom of old age' lol...

Maybe I just got in the habit of 'letting go' and I just let go?

I think that if you are asking questions- "Why do I have to live like this?"

You will find answers...

take care...

-DavidG.

EveningRose

Are you talking about sliding into depression? Given my recent life experiences, this is how I'm interpreting your talk of a dark pit.

For me, I've found that skullcap works quite well. It's not as strange as it sounds! ;-) It's a herb, which you can brew into a tea. Or some natural or health food type stores sell it as a capsule, which is what I found.

Mo S

My experience is that "living in the moment" has gotten better the long I work a program of recovery. It''s been drilled into my head to ask for help if i am lost in the quagmire of thinking too much about my past or future. When times like that strike; I ask for help; a pair of ears to listen from a supportive friend or Regualar therapy sessions because thats what I need to keep my head on straight especially -if I am feeling depressed. I wish you the best.

Workin

You might be right, EveningRose tho' fortunately it usually doesn't last long enough to qualify. Just long enough to set me off the rails on whatever triggered plus everything else I have going on (a struggling marriage including infidelity, unemployment, a custody and visitation matter that will be active for at least another 2-3 years - long story that includes his perjury unaddressed, a narcissistic set of in-place parents for my daughter (father and step-mother) and all the damage that is doing, an impending move due to forced retirement with insufficient retirement income to support ourselves, a father in prison due to behaviors resulting from alcohol and porn addiction, a mother with progressing dementia, and an adult son who decided years ago that I was the devil incarnate - slight exaggeration, but only slight - and is still working through that and only having obligatory contact in the meantime). That's the part that I really need help with because there is too much going on to allow the bleed over from one into all the others. Makes dealing with each of them that much more difficult.

On skullcap, what do you know about drug interactions? I am on several medications for chronic health matters plus birth control.