Little Adult
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Thread Starter
Join Date: Feb 2011
Location: Irish
Posts: 552
Little Adult
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When I was about 7 or 8 years of age, I was able to cook a dinner for 10 people.
I could do all the shopping,Pay bills,.,Clean the house,Work after School,
Everything that needed doing around a house I could do it.
Help my Mother when she was sick......
She would be in bed sick........not from drink...anxiety/Ashma.
I liked been kept home...because I felt comfortible at home.
I could never make close friends at school.
So I never was a child............this is why I 'm finding it difficult to cope.....I have nothing to fall back on.
Its like someone Finding themselves at the top of a Ladder,
and staying there for years......They never feel comfortible up there because they dont know how they got there.
Other adults can climb that Ladder effortlessly,because they Climbed to the top, starting at the bottom step,and worked there way up to the top.
They got there because they knew they were loved and also encouraged by there Parents/Caregivers.
Most adults also know how to get down..........I dont.........I get scared.......=Anxiety
I have started to realise what a Brave and wonderful kid I was.........and most of all, I'm am not or was never to Blame for they way I am now.
I was born into a Family of dependents...........and I had to try and save them all..........An Impossible Task for and Human never mind a Small Child.
I now have to Re Parent Myself.......and try and Give my Frightened Inner Child Courage,so he can get to feel he is worth all my effort........
and chance taking one step at a time.
When I was about 7 or 8 years of age, I was able to cook a dinner for 10 people.
I could do all the shopping,Pay bills,.,Clean the house,Work after School,
Everything that needed doing around a house I could do it.
Help my Mother when she was sick......
She would be in bed sick........not from drink...anxiety/Ashma.
I liked been kept home...because I felt comfortible at home.
I could never make close friends at school.
So I never was a child............this is why I 'm finding it difficult to cope.....I have nothing to fall back on.
Its like someone Finding themselves at the top of a Ladder,
and staying there for years......They never feel comfortible up there because they dont know how they got there.
Other adults can climb that Ladder effortlessly,because they Climbed to the top, starting at the bottom step,and worked there way up to the top.
They got there because they knew they were loved and also encouraged by there Parents/Caregivers.
Most adults also know how to get down..........I dont.........I get scared.......=Anxiety
I have started to realise what a Brave and wonderful kid I was.........and most of all, I'm am not or was never to Blame for they way I am now.
I was born into a Family of dependents...........and I had to try and save them all..........An Impossible Task for and Human never mind a Small Child.
I now have to Re Parent Myself.......and try and Give my Frightened Inner Child Courage,so he can get to feel he is worth all my effort........
and chance taking one step at a time.
Member
Join Date: Sep 2011
Posts: 1,437
Our families made us grow up quick didn't they? By the time I was in 6th grade I was taking care of two newborns and my little sister for weekends while others were actually gone partying. Then I was sent to watch 2 preschoolers for the entire summers while still pulling weekend duty. By the time I was 18 and living on my own I was taking those kids into my home for the next 8 years.
I am a "kid magnet" now and can handle with grace the most difficult children with ease.
But I sometimes wonder what it would have been like to be a kid with no adult responsibilities.
I am a "kid magnet" now and can handle with grace the most difficult children with ease.
But I sometimes wonder what it would have been like to be a kid with no adult responsibilities.
Rest peacefully Sonny Boy
Join Date: Nov 2004
Location: Florida, Tennessee
Posts: 840
Childhood is supposed to be a time to play, to imagine, to laugh. It is supposed to be a time of innocence and safety and total abandon. Care free.
When a child is deprived of those things and thrust into adulthood, responsibilities, realities and sacrifice, then the child never learns how to relax and enjoy life. It is really all they know. Sometimes, as an adult, they have to mourn the loss of that childhood, but all too often, they can't. They became the "Little Adult" as a means of survival, both physically and more importantly, mentally. I too am one of those children. I always feel guilty if I allow that stuffed away child to come out and play.
Baby steps is all I've ever accomplished. Dancing in the rain, walking under a waterfall. As a grandma now, I have to say, it is the most healing thing in the world for me to just sit with two grand babies and play barbies with them. To heck with the dishes or laundry or anything else for that matter.
Take the time to play. It is the only thing that ever helped me.
Hugs
B
When a child is deprived of those things and thrust into adulthood, responsibilities, realities and sacrifice, then the child never learns how to relax and enjoy life. It is really all they know. Sometimes, as an adult, they have to mourn the loss of that childhood, but all too often, they can't. They became the "Little Adult" as a means of survival, both physically and more importantly, mentally. I too am one of those children. I always feel guilty if I allow that stuffed away child to come out and play.
Baby steps is all I've ever accomplished. Dancing in the rain, walking under a waterfall. As a grandma now, I have to say, it is the most healing thing in the world for me to just sit with two grand babies and play barbies with them. To heck with the dishes or laundry or anything else for that matter.
Take the time to play. It is the only thing that ever helped me.
Hugs
B
Member
Join Date: Mar 2010
Posts: 238
I relate with this as well, although my situation wasn't as extreme. Sometimes I feel the four year old inside that wants to kick and scream or have someone tuck her in bed with a stuffed bear. Sometimes I feel the teenager that is absolutely furious that she missed out on teenage things because of the family expectation that she take care of things. She often wants to stomp around and slam doors.
I think a lot of the problem with being the "little adult" is we never got to learn what we were supposed to learn as children, and some of it may still be waiting for us to learn. As I've tried to sort this out (not done yet, still sorting!), I've been surprised at how much following my intuition has been helpful. I'm sure some people would look at me weird for things I have done to help the pieces of me come together and hopefully grow up, but it's been good to find the courage to do whatever helps, regardless of what others may think.
I think a lot of the problem with being the "little adult" is we never got to learn what we were supposed to learn as children, and some of it may still be waiting for us to learn. As I've tried to sort this out (not done yet, still sorting!), I've been surprised at how much following my intuition has been helpful. I'm sure some people would look at me weird for things I have done to help the pieces of me come together and hopefully grow up, but it's been good to find the courage to do whatever helps, regardless of what others may think.
Member
Join Date: Dec 2009
Location: -
Posts: 118
I can so relate to all the stories.
I can remember being told that children are to be seen and not heard.
I am still a lost child. I have found all of their voices.
Sometimes being invisible was my goal.
I didn't want to give any trouble.
I found my anger.
Thank you everyong for sharing!
I can remember being told that children are to be seen and not heard.
I am still a lost child. I have found all of their voices.
Sometimes being invisible was my goal.
I didn't want to give any trouble.
I found my anger.
Thank you everyong for sharing!
Member
Join Date: Dec 2011
Location: Indiana
Posts: 17
My boyfriend has told me "You're a very strong, independent woman. And sometimes you'll turn into a scared little girl."
I learned how to be strong and independent when I was young. Unfortunately the lessons that brought me strength and independence took place of more appropriate lessons of security and self worth.
I'm grateful for some of the positive personality traits that I gained from an alcoholic home. And I work on the negative personality traits gained from an alcoholic home.
I learned how to be strong and independent when I was young. Unfortunately the lessons that brought me strength and independence took place of more appropriate lessons of security and self worth.
I'm grateful for some of the positive personality traits that I gained from an alcoholic home. And I work on the negative personality traits gained from an alcoholic home.
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