Distraught
Distraught
Sorry but I am quite drunk now, but I hope you don't mind me still posting. I've had just over 1/2 bottle of wine (little for me) with lots of food, but my body is clearly not tolerating much alcohol after so long trying to stop.
I couldnt manage sobriety today. I know its not what all of you want to hear or wish for me...but I am learning all the way through this. I am studying best i can my knew known alcoholism. What my triggers are, what my mind states are. And...I have only had one go so far at completely stopping. I hoped I would manage what others don't...but clearly I haven't.
Today I found (I think and hope) a new therapist who seems to finally understand addiction and partcularly alcoholism. So I feel I am getting some my ducks finally in the right rows to help me stop and stay stopped.
I have failed tonight nevertheless. I know that. It's not good...I say it again...I know that and I feel sorry about my weakness
I couldnt manage sobriety today. I know its not what all of you want to hear or wish for me...but I am learning all the way through this. I am studying best i can my knew known alcoholism. What my triggers are, what my mind states are. And...I have only had one go so far at completely stopping. I hoped I would manage what others don't...but clearly I haven't.
Today I found (I think and hope) a new therapist who seems to finally understand addiction and partcularly alcoholism. So I feel I am getting some my ducks finally in the right rows to help me stop and stay stopped.
I have failed tonight nevertheless. I know that. It's not good...I say it again...I know that and I feel sorry about my weakness
quat
Join Date: Jul 2013
Location: terra (mostly)firma
Posts: 4,823
Yes water and sleep would be a very good immediate plan.
Getting ready to stop and ready to stop was where I was stuck for a long time. The next step seemed to be the hardest , felt like it was going to be impossible, waiting for, I don't know a flash of light or some inspirational sign, or thinking that being ready was enough and I would stop soon, all that thinking helped keep me from just stopping. One moment in time I found the resolve and stopped. You can find / have that moment, you deserve the freedom that moment brings, you can make that moment, I know you can , I did even though prior to that moment I thought it was impossible.
Getting ready to stop and ready to stop was where I was stuck for a long time. The next step seemed to be the hardest , felt like it was going to be impossible, waiting for, I don't know a flash of light or some inspirational sign, or thinking that being ready was enough and I would stop soon, all that thinking helped keep me from just stopping. One moment in time I found the resolve and stopped. You can find / have that moment, you deserve the freedom that moment brings, you can make that moment, I know you can , I did even though prior to that moment I thought it was impossible.
Start fresh tomorrow.
sober up littlebear ... every day is a New Day!
A guy shared at a meeting one time that he could tell the future when he was drinking ... he knew every day was going to be !#<@*& up.
I struggled hard, but eventually thru working my program, the MIRACLE happened, and I am now FREE (maintained by continuing work). What I found out was that as for 'triggers' ... I was the Trigger.
RDBplus3 ... Happy, Joyous and FREE ... and I KNOW U can B 2 Littlebear
A guy shared at a meeting one time that he could tell the future when he was drinking ... he knew every day was going to be !#<@*& up.
I struggled hard, but eventually thru working my program, the MIRACLE happened, and I am now FREE (maintained by continuing work). What I found out was that as for 'triggers' ... I was the Trigger.
RDBplus3 ... Happy, Joyous and FREE ... and I KNOW U can B 2 Littlebear
Dump the rest of the booze, drink water, eat some healthy food.... Cut this short so that tomorrow's remorse and physical price paid will be minimized.
Even in the middle of a fall, we can begin again to recover.
You came here.... You posted... You honestly shared.
You did that because you didn't want to fall any further.
And you don't have to.
Dump it, hydrate, eat, get sleep.
Even in the middle of a fall, we can begin again to recover.
You came here.... You posted... You honestly shared.
You did that because you didn't want to fall any further.
And you don't have to.
Dump it, hydrate, eat, get sleep.
I 've listened. Drinking stopped. I feel (of course) that I just can't do this. Am sitting outside my cottage now in the dark (with water) praying I can do this. But i'm scared that I just can't. I need to keep trying though - now that I have started. Thank you for not judging but just offering your encouragement. LB
I 've listened. Drinking stopped. I feel (of course) that I just can't do this. Am sitting outside my cottage now in the dark (with water) praying I can do this. But i'm scared that I just can't. I need to keep trying though - now that I have started. Thank you for not judging but just offering your encouragement. LB
Good job!
You've got this.
All those feelings are very normal. I had grave doubts about me being able to stay sober.
The good news is that was just my addiction talking at me.
I know you'll find, like me after some sobriety, that you're stronger and more capable than you ever knew.
Keep work on your recovery plan littlebear - you absolutely can do this
D
The good news is that was just my addiction talking at me.
I know you'll find, like me after some sobriety, that you're stronger and more capable than you ever knew.
Keep work on your recovery plan littlebear - you absolutely can do this
D
Sending you some love Littlebear. I had similar setbacks, as did most of us. I'm glad you wanted to tell us what happened. We're all in this together - and we all understand. You didn't give up, that's what counts.
Worked an 11 hour day including 4.5 hrs driving...and...failed. Drinking now...stood in the kitchen when I got home and just couldn't face another weekend alone. Just couldnt, and can't. As I was pouring a glass of wine I was crying because I know its not the answer, not good for me. And I knew i would feel ashamed telling you all. But, more than any of this, i just couldn't face my life sober at this time. I am sorrier than you will know. Ashamed
Member
Join Date: Aug 2008
Location: New England
Posts: 1,926
Worked an 11 hour day including 4.5 hrs driving...and...failed. Drinking now...stood in the kitchen when I got home and just couldn't face another weekend alone. Just couldnt, and can't. As I was pouring a glass of wine I was crying because I know its not the answer, not good for me. And I knew i would feel ashamed telling you all. But, more than any of this, i just couldn't face my life sober at this time. I am sorrier than you will know. Ashamed
LittleBear, There's just no point in feeling ashamed. It's understandable to be regretful - but shame makes us feel awful about ourselves, & less able to find the strength to give sobriety another try. Forgive yourself and never stop trying. You can rise above this and have a great new life.
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