ACT10Npack

No one likes a self pity person. Need to learn how to deal with your problems but its your choice if you want to drink.

Mags1

Hi 2much, so sorry you're going through this alone. We are all here but you do have to reach out and we are there.

Years ago I went to slimming world hoping to lose a few pounds. Edwina, who took our class had a candle in her hand and she lit it. Then she asked us to blow it out from where we were sat. We all laughed had a go but couldn't.

She asked why, what did we have to do to blow out the candle. We all stood up and went to the candle and blew it out, easily.

I always remember this analogy, yes I didn't wanna drink, I wanted a magic wand, a gust of wind. Life isn't like that, we have to make an effort.

You too, can blow out that candle, my friend x

Dee74

2much - people from all over the world are responding to you here - that must mean something, right?

D

Amazingglazier

very helpfull,NOT!

kittibear33

My heart aches for you. I wish you had someone close... even if it's simply a pet.

2muchpain

Maybe I am feeling sorry for myself, I don't know. Sure, I have a lot to be grateful for. That list would be long. But that list would not include any family or friends. NOBODY CARES! I have busted my butt to meet people and connect with family, to end up with nothing. I am done with all the rejections. If I am complaining about nobody calling me or showing me any sense of caring for me is feeling sorry for myself is what you call feeling sorry for myself, than you are right. To me, asking for this is just asking for human contact. To know that I make a difference to somebody in their lives would make me feel that I matter. Nobody knocks on my door. Nobody calls me, yet I have no financial problems. If you are living in this situation, I would love to hear how you do it, and feel good about it. Maybe I am missing something. Most people don't understand what it feels like to be really alone. If you have a problem, do you have somebody to call? I bet you do. If I have a problem, I call me. If I choose to drink in the future, I'll make a toast to you and everybody else that doesn't care a sh##t.

Dee74

There's a thread full of people who took time out to write to you today 2much - some of us maybe could have phrased our concern a little better perhaps, but everyone cares.

I know you also received some PMs, because I received some PMs from people concerned about you too.

Try to think on that, and not on the negative - a group of people from all over the world really do care what happens to you 2much. They care when you're hurting.

They want you to make different and better choices for yourself.

They want you to leave the despair behind, make changes and to join the rest of us in recovery.

I really hope you will

D

newme2day

In my experience, i have found that people will not always come to you. You need to be the one to reach out. I am willing to bet that you have at least one person nearby you can reach out to. Because if my addiction I have built a lot of walls. Its time to tear them down and let everyone in.

Beanie25

It is really difficult to take those first steps to get the help we need in order for things to start improving, then hope can come back. There is huge support here and outside of here. Wishing you all the best.

huntingtontx

I care, and it is hard to look at your pain. I am sorry you are down, but alcohol will only bring you further down. When I quit drinking I came here for help. I had a broken back and could not drive or leave the house. The people here are real, and they were here for me. They did not call me or knock at my door, but when I posted they replied. I am seven months sober today, and feeling pretty good about life. I come here daily and have yet to meet anyone face to face, but they are real people and they care. I hope you put down the bottle, dust yourself off and try again. Come here often and see what happens. The bottle is no ones friend. It makes you sick, it makes you cry, it takes your life and you wonder why. Not a good thing. We are here for you.

abcowboy

Hi 2much, I used to be just like you, felt I was alone, that no one listened or cared, and I let my AV take over.... finding solace in the bottom of a bottle. My wife, who I love dearly, stood by me through all those years, even though she knew she couldn't help me till I admitted I needed help. She kept telling me to put my faith in God, that He is the way, the truth, and the light! When I finally admitted, my name is Bruce, and I'm an alcoholic, her words started to make sense to me! I joined AA, and started down my road to recovery, it has not been easy, I had one slip, but the very next day I went to another meeting! What my wife and the 12 Steps are showing me is that if you truly believe in a Higher Power, you are never alone! He is always there to listen, to comfort, and to renew your strength. And I have numerous phone numbers from my AA family who are always there to listen and offer support when I need it most. Sometimes sitting around and waiting for the "miracle" doesn't work, you have to go out and find the miracle waiting for you. SR has given me another family that I can rely on for help and support and you are on the right track by being here, whether AA or SR, keep coming back!!!

Tiptree

I think the problem and the solution lies within you but you have to be willing to accept that and not use drinking, or the threat of drinking, as a club to beat yourself up, or the world that you perceive as uncaring. No one is owed anything. There are many people here reaching out to you. Give something back and you may start feeling a little less alone. We are rooting for you!

freethinking

If you have no family or friends around "knocking on your door", maybe the problem is you and not them. I know I personally found this thread very hard to read without getting annoyed at how many people reached out - and how you blatantly ignored them, choosing to only focus on the negative.

kittibear33

An excellent point. Please don't end up like my dad, where you've pushed away all your support by focusing on only the negativity in your life. Count your blessings!

2muchpain

YOU DON'T GET IT! I have been going to AA meetings for years. I have done everything people tell me to do. I come before meetings, stay after meetings, volunteer for stuff, drive people to and from meetings. I have helped people there a lot, even paid for a hotel stay for a couple that just got into town. The only people that call me are people that want something. They don't even have the decency to at least ask how I am doing before asking for something. I have shared my concerns to a group of people that I don't know. All they tell me is that I need to try harder. How is that possible! What's left? They tell me to read the BB, get a sponser, follow the 12 steps. Been there and done that, but I am still sitting alone in my apartment. Am I feeling sorry for myself, sure. Who wouldn't in my situation. I have done everything I can think of for someone to care other than to BEG FOR IT. Sorry, but I'd rather drink than stoop to that level. I still go to meetings and get a lot out of it, but I leave alone. Nobody at those meetings care whether I live or die, unless they need something. Somebody at a meeting that I haven't been to in a while told me that he was upset because I wasn't there because he needed money and cigs. People suck.

ScottFromWI

I'm pretty sure we do get it 2much. You can feel sorry for yourself as much as you like, but there are a LOT of people here who do "get it" and have been exactly where you are. You are not unique in your self-inflicted suffering.

If you truly want to give up and continue your self-serving pity fest, that is your choice. Please don't insinuate that we don't get it or that we aren't trying to help...because its not true and you know it.

EndGameNYC

After finishing this thread, I'm left wondering what you think the problem is? Is everyone in the world so truly and completely selfish that they're incapable of demonstrating care and concern for you? Or is it just the people in AA? How do you understand the reality that your experience in AA, though perhaps not particularly unique, is so very different from what so many other people experience?

If it's everyone, how do you explain that several people here reach out to you each time you ask for help? I've witnessed some of the most obnoxious and offensive people on the planet get support from people both here and in AA. And why is it so important to you that you run around taking care of everyone else, seemingly to the point of personal depletion? What's that about?

I think it's entirely clear what you expect from other people and, despite your best efforts, they continue to disappoint. Do you truly understand this in terms of a complete and overriding selfishness in other people?

If it were me, I might wonder what it is about me or about what I'm doing that makes it so easy for people to ignore me, to dismiss me, to demonstrate indifference in response to me.

I believe in karma, but I don't believe it works like a vending machine. And if it did, then I'd stop putting money in it if I never got what I chose. The solution is not about working harder -- continuing to put money into a vending machine that returns nothing -- but to find a better way to get what I want or need.

jkb

I had no friends and no real social life when I was drinking. I had no self esteem and hated everything when I was drinking.

Then I got sober and made friends and even on the nastiest winter day the world is brighter. For me I had to step away from the alcohol FOR A WHILE to see that I was the reason I was unhappy.

tomsteve

"They tell me to read the BB, get a sponser, follow the 12 steps.Been there and done that"

this may be harsh but I don't believe it. if ya worked the steps ya wouldn't be sitting in the lonely morass of self pity. why do i say that? look at one of the 9th step promises:
"That feeling of uselessness and self-pity will disappear."


i think a good question you should answer to yourself:
do you want to keep wallowing in self pity?
if yes, then theres not a thing anyone can do to help.
if no, then yer gonna have to get into action.
start back at step one.

tomsteve

yes, we get it.