chuff1

Glad to hear it James 2 weeks is awesome.....feeling happy is a habit worth getting used to
Hows your back?
Mick

Murdock80

Thanks for the help last night! It was much needed!

Murdock80

Amazing! Congrats on the two weeks. I'm stoked to get there.

jambry123

You are not alone on this noexcuse.

I have something similar in so many areas of my life. At work, it's a desperate desire to impress and show my bosses I can handle responsibility they have given me to the point I go overboard and burn myself out. I take it all too seriously and get to a point where I panic and try and make every single minute detail perfect. What I often fail to realise when I go into that 'stress zone of desperation' is that they often don't even notice what has been eating me with worry for days. They're happy with what I've done. I just don't see it!!

With my parents I'm the same, I always want them to see me as something which I think I am really (smart, responsible) but I never feel like I'm managing it. I so want them to be proud and I know they are, they do tell me they are but I beat myself up over the little things that might be wrong.

With my housemate... I clean and tidy obsessively to the point I find it difficult to relax sometimes, my worst fear is being thought of badly.

Alcohol used to make me feel better about the little things I care so much about but actually aren't important. The little things that no one else but me was concerned by!! I'm finding the last 2 weeks I've been hitting some issues head on, it's good, I've never done that before.... trying to live my life as open and honestly as I can... the only person I want to impress now is myself (and I'm starting to!)

Stay strong, noexcuse. I'm sure as you adjust to a sober lifestyle, the issues you feel you have may at least start to resolve themselves - slowly but surely. At least you'll be able to deal with them with a clear head.

jambry123

Thanks Mick, it was a teensy bit better today but I think I overdid it at work today. Serves me right I knew what I was doing!!

Are you excited for your new job??

kellyg

Ughhh, happy hour in my office right around the corner from my office

chuff1

Yes I am, naturally a shade nervous, but will be good to be earning again
Mick

jambry123

Thanks Murdock!! Congratulations to you too on day 3 - it's a wonderful feeling when they first day or two are out of the way. I started to find as each day passes, I started to care more about my sobriety than I do alcohol. Each day it gets a tiny bit easier.

jambry123

Just think how many of them are going to feel rough as sand paper tomorrow morning. Bleurgh!

tootsl1

Hi all just a quick one to touch base, Murdock,met you on 30 daysv& under, good to see you here, a lot busier! I'm feeling ok had a few whispers, but pushing back against them and looking forward.

Be safe be strong, be sober

MeSoSober

Woo hoo!!

Juneprottey

Just went out for some food and drank fizzy water now planning an early night and the march through day two !!! Lovely to find this place to talk to others about this!!

Marcher13

Snaffle it's good to see you back and welcome to June.

Re the parent thing: noexcuse and bepresent my Mum is now 86 (lives with us) so our roles are kind of reversing even tho' her mind is still sharp as a tack. We've had a good rel'ship most of our lives but negotiating that adult/adult thing is hard. Something I did for a few years in my thirties/forties was think about whether I was acting as an adult or child towards them.

With the upcoming changes in our household with my friend moving on I am actually going to be faced with an easier time as far as alcohol is concerned. My husband and mother both have only one, she and I would have several and, if a second bottle was opened, I'd finish it. This change is really going to make me accountable to myself. Understand I am not saying in any way that my friend was responsible, she was not I was, but the two of us drinking together was certainly a trigger.

Dee74

congratulations Mick
welcome June and Dan Dare

good to see you too irelander.
I hope you can work out something different to do this time.

no excuse - I spent a lot of years looking for validation from others...as I stayed sober I grew in self confidence and I listened to my inner voice a lot more...
I reckon you'll find the same

kellyg - everything was a trigger for me...as long as we don;t drink I thinks thats the basics covered

and...I think you're being way too hard on yourself 360

D

Marcher13

I think it was clight who was having trouble with drinking too much coffee? I just did the "overnight" read so if I named clight incorrectly, sorry.

Swiss Water method decaffeinated coffee is the way to go if you can get it. I used to be a barista for a while and this type of coffee goes through a good heat free process so retains the flavour/freshness of the coffee without the caffeine.

Also consider herbal teas. There is a huge range of herbal teas, some strong, some mild. My husband is not a tea drinker but has recently agreed to ginger/lemon tea in the afternoons to cut back his coffee consumption a bit. I like peppermint. Buy a sampler box or a box with a small number so you can find out which you like.

I like mine super hot.

clight

Thank you! Yes, it was me with to much coffee. =)) I had a few cups until noon time and it has been water since but I will look into the decaf.

clight

Obladi

Shoes, I think you are a gifted writer and thinker. And I also think you are too hard on yourself. A lot of times, you say what I'm thinking, but better.

I've been at this quitting game that is not a game far FAR longer than I could have ever believed I would have been. In the early days, I used to get very frustrated with people that kept coming back saying, "Darn. I screwed up again, but I'll get it today." I thought perhaps they weren't really serious about stopping and also thought that their failures were bringing me down. I knew I was wrong to feel judgemental like that, but what're you gonna do? They're feelings.

Now I'm in the position of being envious of some of those folks. They kept coming back day after day and for some of them, one day - it stuck! So there's a lesson there - in more than one way.

I want to be just that persistent. I want to want to keep on trying. I want to not give up on myself if I screw up. I want to be done with this so badly I can feel it and remember it all day every day until I get to the point where it's just not an issue anymore. So the question is... how do I get that? Not sure, but I'm pretty certain that the answer is in believing that I have a good life ahead of me. It lies in taking steps to start living that good life now rather than remaining in this limbo I seem to have fallen into (or manufactured).

And then too, there's that "I don't have all the answers" lesson. I learn from all of you and I thank you for being here.

yestofreedom

i went to the shop just now and bought cigarettes and crisps.
so easy to just order booze. it is right behind the counter
but resisted
i felt like there was an energy in the air today that showed me things clearly
that there are people out there to meet
and not shy away from reality and sitting in my flat drinking away
i had created such a pattern for my life. all it was was destruction.

felt good to be apart of the world today

tomorrow is friday, the day of real testing for me, and i know its the day where it shows me how much I really want to stop drinking for myself. i could just let go and forget all of you and all of this fighting and feeling good about life.
but i know where i will be monday morning if i choose the wrong part of the test.
and i dont want to be there.

Northlander

Quick drive-by to show the love!

Soberjanedoe

Good morning guys. Just a quick stop in to let you know I won't be online this weekend because I will be at my parents home.

I took my first medication for the anxiety today. Hopefully this works