Go Back   SoberRecovery : Alcoholism Drug Addiction Help and Information > New to Addiction and Recovery? > Newcomers to Recovery
Forgot Password? Join Us!
Register Blogs FAQ Calendar Arcade Mark Forums Read Chat Room


Welcome to the Sober Recovery Community

Already registered? Login above ---^
OR
To take advantage of all Posting, Chatting, Gaming, and all the features available at SoberRecovery, join the over 100,000 current members, and become a member of our supportive community today! Ads will no longer appear on the forums, once you register.



Reply
LinkBack Thread Tools
Old 02-09-2013, 12:50 PM   #1 (permalink)
Member
 

Join Date: Jul 2010
Location: Midwest
Posts: 435
Back here after a 6 week bender.

I allowed myself 1 drink on Christmas day while I was with family. That 1 drink has turned into 6 straight weeks of daily drunkenness. I've managed to 'only' call out of work an average of 1-2 days a week. I've burned through my entire year's worth of vacation days and it's only the beginning of February. I feel like my body's been beaten up, especially my liver. My house is a complete mess - piles of unopened mail, laundry strewn everywhere, got a few fines from the city for not shoveling my drive/sidewalk because I've been too drunk. All I've done for 6 weeks is get plastered alone and stumble into work a few times a week.

Something very good happened to me on Thursday, I won't get specific but it resulted in a raise and was a boost in my professional life. I've spent the past 2 days "celebrating" (getting drunk alone at home.) I feel like absolutely hell right now physically but my mind is fairly positive. I just want to get better and have freedom in my life again to do what I want again, instead of being confined to my home drinking vodka all day, every day.
mwstylee is offline  
Digg this Post!Add Post to del.icio.usBookmark Post in TechnoratiTweet this Post!
Reply With Quote
The Following 6 Users Say Thank You to mwstylee For This Useful Post:
ABIDEBYLAW (02-09-2013), ClearLight (02-10-2013), duane1 (02-10-2013), escapist (02-09-2013), Hevyn (02-09-2013), soberlicious (02-09-2013)
Old 02-09-2013, 12:56 PM   #2 (permalink)
Member
 
bradley26's Avatar
 

Join Date: Nov 2012
Location: london
Posts: 71
Hi there, I did the same thing about 3 years ago ,i went out and told myself i would just have one drink after being sober for 3 months and this ''one drink'' set me on a 3 year binge of excessive drinking. im only just starting out sober again ,im on day 15. If you are doing well at work whilst getting smashed all the time, imagine how good you could do when u are 100% sober and focus!! good luck
bradley26 is offline  
Digg this Post!Add Post to del.icio.usBookmark Post in TechnoratiTweet this Post!
Reply With Quote
The Following 10 Users Say Thank You to bradley26 For This Useful Post:
ABIDEBYLAW (02-09-2013), bemyself (02-09-2013), debsam (02-09-2013), duane1 (02-10-2013), escapist (02-09-2013), MrG (02-17-2013), mwstylee (02-09-2013), Sasha4 (02-09-2013), soberlicious (02-09-2013), vegibean (02-09-2013)
Old 02-09-2013, 01:15 PM   #3 (permalink)
Member
 
vegibean's Avatar
 

Join Date: Aug 2008
Location: SE and then South some more
Posts: 2,649
mw, I hope you can stop soon before the one good thing that has happened takes a turn in the other direction. Are you drinking today? I really hope you can get back on track.
__________________
"When you're green, you grow, when you're ripe, you rot. Don't stop learning." ~ Unknown
vegibean is offline  
Digg this Post!Add Post to del.icio.usBookmark Post in TechnoratiTweet this Post!
Reply With Quote
The Following 2 Users Say Thank You to vegibean For This Useful Post:
escapist (02-09-2013), mwstylee (02-09-2013)
Old 02-09-2013, 01:30 PM   #4 (permalink)
Member
 
bemyself's Avatar
 

Join Date: Dec 2012
Location: Melbourne, Victoria Australia
Posts: 606
Jeez mw, I really feel your despair....on a purely practical note, to add to general well wishes, it sounds as if a medically supervised detox might be a wise first step? Just to help you get through the first week of withdrawals, if nothing else.

thinking of you
Vic
bemyself is offline  
Digg this Post!Add Post to del.icio.usBookmark Post in TechnoratiTweet this Post!
Reply With Quote
The Following 3 Users Say Thank You to bemyself For This Useful Post:
Bigndfan175 (02-09-2013), escapist (02-09-2013), mwstylee (02-09-2013)
Old 02-09-2013, 01:44 PM   #5 (permalink)
Administrator
 
Anna's Avatar
 

Join Date: Aug 2003
Location: Dancing in the Light
Posts: 31,181
Congratulations on the raise at work and I'm glad there's positive thoughts in your mind right now. You can get back on track and working on your recovery again. It might be a good idea to talk to your dr before you stop drinking.
__________________
Photobucket

Maybe there’s a way out of the cage where you live
Maybe one of these days you can let the light in
Show me how big your brave is.

Sara Bareilles & Jack Antonoff "Brave"
Anna is offline  
Digg this Post!Add Post to del.icio.usBookmark Post in TechnoratiTweet this Post!
Reply With Quote
The Following 2 Users Say Thank You to Anna For This Useful Post:
escapist (02-09-2013), mwstylee (02-09-2013)
Old 02-09-2013, 01:46 PM   #6 (permalink)
Forum Moderator
 
Dee74's Avatar
 

Join Date: Apr 2007
Location: Strailya
Posts: 85,600
Blog Entries: 1
I'm sorry to hear this mw.
What are your plans for dealing with this, man?

D
__________________
Dee74 is offline  
Digg this Post!Add Post to del.icio.usBookmark Post in TechnoratiTweet this Post!
Reply With Quote
The Following 3 Users Say Thank You to Dee74 For This Useful Post:
Bigndfan175 (02-09-2013), escapist (02-09-2013), mwstylee (02-09-2013)
Old 02-09-2013, 02:10 PM   #7 (permalink)
Grateful to be free
 
Threshold's Avatar
 

Join Date: May 2009
Location: Arizona
Posts: 3,667
Blog Entries: 64
I am so glad you are back, please don't ever ever do that to yourself again.
Threshold is offline  
Digg this Post!Add Post to del.icio.usBookmark Post in TechnoratiTweet this Post!
Reply With Quote
The Following 3 Users Say Thank You to Threshold For This Useful Post:
escapist (02-09-2013), mwstylee (02-09-2013), Sasha4 (02-09-2013)
Old 02-09-2013, 02:22 PM   #8 (permalink)
Member
 

Join Date: Oct 2012
Location: fort wayne, IN.
Posts: 1,026
When I went back to drinking I had a few years sober. After about a month I was sitting at my desk drinking vodka. It was 10:00 am. I realized I was right back where I had left it years earlier. I called a friend and told them. They sounded sad for me. I wonder if I had done something then if I could have spared myself the last four years of hell I just left a few months ago. Something to think about.
escapist is offline  
Digg this Post!Add Post to del.icio.usBookmark Post in TechnoratiTweet this Post!
Reply With Quote
The Following 6 Users Say Thank You to escapist For This Useful Post:
bemyself (02-09-2013), EternalQ (02-10-2013), instant (02-09-2013), mwstylee (02-09-2013), soberlicious (02-09-2013), Xune (02-10-2013)
Old 02-09-2013, 05:52 PM   #9 (permalink)
Member
 

Join Date: Jul 2010
Location: Midwest
Posts: 435
Thanks all for the replies. I have not drank today, and didn't really didn't have any intention to. There are pills left from the last time I "quit" and saw the doc for withdrawals. Just went to Target to buy cleaning supplies/tea/snacks and saw this guy asking around if they carried Ciroc. I can't believe how amazingly weak I am, because just that mundane thing gave me a huge urge to drink "just one more time and that's it". I'm really honestly scared that it will send me into another 1-2 month bender if I don't really grab hold of this yearning to quit today.
mwstylee is offline  
Digg this Post!Add Post to del.icio.usBookmark Post in TechnoratiTweet this Post!
Reply With Quote
The Following 3 Users Say Thank You to mwstylee For This Useful Post:
ClearLight (02-10-2013), escapist (02-09-2013), instant (02-09-2013)
Old 02-09-2013, 06:10 PM   #10 (permalink)
 
soberlicious's Avatar
 

Join Date: Aug 2011
Location: "I'm not lost for I know where I am. But however, where I am may be lost ..."
Posts: 3,599
You need to be prepared for when the yearning does come back around, which it has an uncanny way of doing. You might want to start thinking about a plan for that. I'm glad you're back. I had one drink after 10 years. What followed was 7 more years of daily drinking. Lost all my freedom...along with my mind.
soberlicious is offline  
Digg this Post!Add Post to del.icio.usBookmark Post in TechnoratiTweet this Post!
Reply With Quote
The Following 9 Users Say Thank You to soberlicious For This Useful Post:
ClearLight (02-10-2013), Dee74 (02-10-2013), duane1 (02-10-2013), escapist (02-09-2013), EternalQ (02-10-2013), Fandy (02-10-2013), instant (02-09-2013), mwstylee (02-10-2013), NewMe11109 (02-10-2013)
Old 02-09-2013, 06:11 PM   #11 (permalink)
Member
 
kizzy40's Avatar
 

Join Date: Jan 2013
Location: UK
Posts: 275
You have been exceptionally lucky, and I think you know it. The more you tempt fate the more likely that everything you have could be lost.
Stop now, not next week ..or next year.. now.
kizzy40 is offline  
Digg this Post!Add Post to del.icio.usBookmark Post in TechnoratiTweet this Post!
Reply With Quote
The Following User Says Thank You to kizzy40 For This Useful Post:
mwstylee (02-10-2013)
Old 02-09-2013, 06:39 PM   #12 (permalink)
Member
 
Zebra1275's Avatar
 

Join Date: May 2009
Posts: 4,126
I've never been on a bender longer than a few days, I can't imagine the detox after 6 weeks. Be safe!

I'm guessing that quitting, what has no become a daily habit, is going to be tough on your own. I would suggest an AA meeting or 2 before you head back to work on Monday.
Zebra1275 is offline  
Digg this Post!Add Post to del.icio.usBookmark Post in TechnoratiTweet this Post!
Reply With Quote
The Following 2 Users Say Thank You to Zebra1275 For This Useful Post:
Dee74 (02-10-2013), mwstylee (02-10-2013)
Old 02-09-2013, 06:51 PM   #13 (permalink)
Learning to live again
 
Hevyn's Avatar
 

Join Date: Aug 2007
Location: Upstate New York
Posts: 16,060
I did the very same thing the last Christmas I drank. I had been trying to moderate, but decided I'd have one glass of eggnog. It turned into a month long bender, and I barely made it out alive. It was so much more horrible than all the other times. The good news is it removed any doubt that I could ever touch the stuff again.

You don't have to return to that awful place. Glad to have you back with us. You can do this.
__________________
You are so much more than the worst thing you've
ever done. - Fr. Gregory Boyle, Homeboy Industries

Tomorrow is a new day. You shall begin it well and serenely, and with too high a spirit to be encumbered with your old nonsense. - Emerson
Hevyn is offline  
Digg this Post!Add Post to del.icio.usBookmark Post in TechnoratiTweet this Post!
Reply With Quote
The Following 5 Users Say Thank You to Hevyn For This Useful Post:
Dee74 (02-10-2013), instant (02-09-2013), least (02-10-2013), mwstylee (02-10-2013), RevivingOphelia (02-11-2013)
Old 02-09-2013, 07:25 PM   #14 (permalink)
instant
 
instant's Avatar
 

Join Date: May 2011
Location: Australia
Posts: 5,066
Blog Entries: 5
Hang in there and do the best you can.

Every urge you don't give into makes you stronger
__________________
Then there was never enough.....now there is plenty

May 15 2011
instant is offline  
Digg this Post!Add Post to del.icio.usBookmark Post in TechnoratiTweet this Post!
Reply With Quote
The Following 2 Users Say Thank You to instant For This Useful Post:
EternalQ (02-10-2013), mwstylee (02-10-2013)
Old 02-10-2013, 06:54 AM   #15 (permalink)
Member
 

Join Date: Jul 2010
Location: Midwest
Posts: 435
Quote:
Originally Posted by kizzy40 View Post
You have been exceptionally lucky, and I think you know it. The more you tempt fate the more likely that everything you have could be lost.
Stop now, not next week ..or next year.. now.
I absolutely agree with you.

I managed not to drink last night and just woke up this morning. I know this is twisted, but sobriety feels so strange. It feels very weird not to be dry heaving, nauseous, shaking, with a fever and cold sweats in the morning. There's a new grocery store that just opened and I can go have a visit right now, wow. The freedom to do something as simple as that feels like such a treat for me.
mwstylee is offline  
Digg this Post!Add Post to del.icio.usBookmark Post in TechnoratiTweet this Post!
Reply With Quote
The Following 3 Users Say Thank You to mwstylee For This Useful Post:
Dee74 (02-10-2013), kizzy40 (02-10-2013), RevivingOphelia (02-11-2013)
Old 02-10-2013, 11:18 AM   #16 (permalink)
Member
 
scottydee1946's Avatar
 

Join Date: Jan 2013
Location: Canada
Posts: 63
I know from many personal experiences that the one-drink argument is a path only fools follow. That's not to be judgmental. I was the fool for so many years. Just one drink always led me down to weeks of set-backs. I wish the OP strength and courage. You are worth it.
__________________
Sober since March 4, 2013

"Stagger on, rejoicing" - W H Auden
scottydee1946 is offline  
Digg this Post!Add Post to del.icio.usBookmark Post in TechnoratiTweet this Post!
Reply With Quote
The Following 3 Users Say Thank You to scottydee1946 For This Useful Post:
MrG (02-17-2013), mwstylee (02-10-2013), Xune (02-10-2013)
Old 02-10-2013, 12:35 PM   #17 (permalink)
Community Greeter
 
EternalQ's Avatar
 

Join Date: Feb 2012
Location: East Coast
Posts: 11,324
I am very sorry to hear this Mwstylee. Glad you are back. You quit for a rather longtime prior to this didnt you? Or am I wrong? Anyway do be careful with detox... and get back on the track of sanity you knew before.

I hope this is taken in the right spirit, as, I certainly would not wish what you have been going through the last six weeks on anyone. However, when I do hear an experience like this, it just reconfirms for me that any sip of alcohol would be a monumental risk for me.

I mean, before quitting, I had been drinking hard straight liquor, home alone, every day for many, many years. And every time I imagine taking a sip of something, say at a social event or holiday, all I can see is that I would immediately go back to daily secret drinking. How could it go any other way? It was my abusive buddy, and it would move right back in with me. I know it. I cannot even pretend otherwise. I can't even lie to myself about it because it is so obvious to me.

I am afraid some day I will forget. But then I read posts like yours and there it all is. There but for the grace of God go I. So I am so sorry for what you are going through, but I am grateful for the cautionary tale.

Please let us know how you are doing.
__________________
"I tell of hearts and souls and dances...
Butterflies and second chances.
And find that God in goodness brings,
A chance for change, the hope of wings."
-Karen Kingsbury
EternalQ is offline  
Digg this Post!Add Post to del.icio.usBookmark Post in TechnoratiTweet this Post!
Reply With Quote
The Following 4 Users Say Thank You to EternalQ For This Useful Post:
BoozeFree (02-10-2013), duane1 (02-10-2013), least (02-10-2013), mwstylee (02-10-2013)
Old 02-10-2013, 04:56 PM   #18 (permalink)
Member
 

Join Date: Jul 2010
Location: Midwest
Posts: 435
Quote:
Originally Posted by EternalQ View Post
I am very sorry to hear this Mwstylee. Glad you are back. You quit for a rather longtime prior to this didnt you? Or am I wrong? Anyway do be careful with detox... and get back on the track of sanity you knew before.

I hope this is taken in the right spirit, as, I certainly would not wish what you have been going through the last six weeks on anyone. However, when I do hear an experience like this, it just reconfirms for me that any sip of alcohol would be a monumental risk for me.

I mean, before quitting, I had been drinking hard straight liquor, home alone, every day for many, many years. And every time I imagine taking a sip of something, say at a social event or holiday, all I can see is that I would immediately go back to daily secret drinking. How could it go any other way? It was my abusive buddy, and it would move right back in with me. I know it. I cannot even pretend otherwise. I can't even lie to myself about it because it is so obvious to me.

I am afraid some day I will forget. But then I read posts like yours and there it all is. There but for the grace of God go I. So I am so sorry for what you are going through, but I am grateful for the cautionary tale.

Please let us know how you are doing.
Thank you very, very much for that reply. I don't think I'm a stupid person, but I do when things like this happen. If someone lied to me once, I'd be very cautious. If they lie to me a second time, that's it. End of friendship. I've lied to myself for almost a decade now, since I was 18. "just one drink". I've said that to myself literally tens of thousands of times and you know what? I've never, ever ever had just 1 drink. Never in my life have I just had 1. I feel borderline insane.

Going to try out a program this Friday night. Not AA but a slightly different version of an alkie support group. I just want to get better and stop living like this. Day 2 is today, 7pm now and I'm almost in the clear.

Thanks for the replies everyone.
mwstylee is offline  
Digg this Post!Add Post to del.icio.usBookmark Post in TechnoratiTweet this Post!
Reply With Quote
The Following 3 Users Say Thank You to mwstylee For This Useful Post:
Dee74 (02-10-2013), EternalQ (02-10-2013), kizzy40 (02-10-2013)
Old 02-10-2013, 05:07 PM   #19 (permalink)
Member
 
kizzy40's Avatar
 

Join Date: Jan 2013
Location: UK
Posts: 275
Great going! It will get easier I promise.. A visit to the docs may help just to give them a heads up on what you have achieved, eat really well maybe take some supplements?
keep busy, moderate exercise will help get you naturally tired to help combat any insomnia.
Really well done, sobriety mwstylee
kizzy40 is offline  
Digg this Post!Add Post to del.icio.usBookmark Post in TechnoratiTweet this Post!
Reply With Quote
Old 02-10-2013, 07:15 PM   #20 (permalink)
Community Greeter
 
EternalQ's Avatar
 

Join Date: Feb 2012
Location: East Coast
Posts: 11,324
Thank you for writing back and letting us know where you head is.

Like you said, you know you're not stupid. We all know you're not stupid. Now tell that addictive voice Your Momma didnt raise NO fool!

Let us know how your program / group goes!
__________________
"I tell of hearts and souls and dances...
Butterflies and second chances.
And find that God in goodness brings,
A chance for change, the hope of wings."
-Karen Kingsbury
EternalQ is offline  
Digg this Post!Add Post to del.icio.usBookmark Post in TechnoratiTweet this Post!
Reply With Quote
Reply


Currently Active Users Viewing this Thread: 1 (0 members and 1 guests)
 
Thread Tools

Posting Rules
You may not post new threads
You may not post replies
You may not post attachments
You may not edit your posts

BB code is On
Smilies are On
[IMG] code is On
HTML code is Off
Trackbacks are On
Pingbacks are On
Refbacks are Off



All times are GMT -7. The time now is 11:43 AM.


 
National Drug and Alcohol Treatment Centers
 
Drug Rehab | Best Treatment Center | Detox Center | Residential Treatment Center
Cocaine/Crack Treatment | Alcohol Rehab | Heroin/Oxycontin Treatment Center | Crystal Meth Treatment | Marijuana Treatment | Methadone Treatment | Suboxone Treatment
 
Local Treatment Resources and Events
 
Alabama | Alaska | Arizona | Arkansas | California | Colorado | Connecticut | DC | Delaware
Florida | Georgia | Hawaii | Idaho | Illinois | Indiana | Iowa | Kansas | Kentucky | Louisiana | Maine
Maryland | Massachusetts | Michigan | Minnesota | Mississippi | Missouri | Montana | Nebraska | Nevada | New Hampshire
New Jersey | New Mexico | New York | North Carolina | North Dakota | Ohio | Oklahoma | Oregon | Pennsylvania | Rhode Island
South Carolina | South Dakota | Tennesee | Texas | Utah | Vermont | Virginia | Washington | West Virginia | Wisconsin | Wyoming

© 2013 Internet Brands. | Privacy Policy
A proud member of the SoberRecovery® Network of Addiction and Recovery Websites