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Old 07-15-2012, 04:07 PM   #1 (permalink)

Join Date: Jul 2012
Location: Mt. Vernon, WA
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Need help with a recovering addict

Hey there,

I don't know whether anyone can help me. Last night my husband's oldest friend, war buddy, called in tears because his 21 year old son is driving he and his wife crazy. He has been on off of Heroin for the last 6 months, but is being sucked back into "the life." He is on a waiting list for a prestigious drug rehab place in San Diego. What's the problem? My husband told him, "get him the hell away from Dodge! Send him to us...OMG! I'm with my husband, I'm a teacher and bleeding heart, but I don't know anything about what to expect, what to prepare myself for...like I said again, OMG!

These are the things I do know. He is under a doctor's care and is on some type of medication (not Methodone). The kiddo has to check in with the doctor every Monday, Wednesday and Friday..I know we'll talk more, but anyone have any idea of where I start? I intellectually know about Heroin addiction, withdrawals, and am generally aware of the behaviors of an addict. But how do you suggest I help support him until he goes to rehab?

Thanks in advance for any advice!
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Old 07-15-2012, 05:55 PM   #2 (permalink)
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NarAnon is the best place to go for support for you and for any family/friends of substance abusers.

We do have a forum on SR for Friends & Families and you might check it out.

And when the night is cloudy
There is still a light that shines on me
Shine on until tomorrow, let it be.

Paul McCartney
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Old 07-15-2012, 06:21 PM   #3 (permalink)
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Hi jahs, I had a very bad experience years ago when I agreed to let a roomate's just-out-of-rehab cousin stay at my house because it was hundreds of miles from his old bad influence friends and he needed a "new start".

It took him less than a month to find the crack connections in a new town, and also less than a month to start stealing from us. I had to change the locks and placed a lethal weapon by the front door.

He is dead now (overdose) and that was so unecessary and tragic. I have known several addicts very well, and I say this with the utmost compassion: I will never again open my home or life to a newly "rehabbed" addict. That might sound harsh, and this from a pretty liberal bleeding heart type - but NO. Three addicts in my life, and three stealing and lying people....I won't do it again. PROVE to me you're clean and on a good path, then maybe....but if not, NO. Not until you earn my trust.
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Old 07-15-2012, 06:38 PM   #4 (permalink)

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Location: Coventry West Midlands
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Make sure you and your husband go into this with you eyes wide open.

A heroin addict will tell you ANYTHING to get that next fix. They will promise you whatever you ask and more.

If they do get a fix its like Jekyll and Hyde.

What I have said is not what I've been told its what I've seen first hand with a good friend.

One other point is like any addiction the addict must want to give up. Parents trying to persuade them is likely to make the situation worse.

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Old 07-15-2012, 06:44 PM   #5 (permalink)
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i am wondering what th motive is behind your husband wanting the kid sent to your place. is your husband in recovery? is he a trained, licensed addiction counselor? does he work at a rehab?
do you or your husband have any plans?
a practicing drug addict loves a bleeding heart. they are easy to manipulate.
all big book quotes from 1st edition
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Old 07-15-2012, 07:30 PM   #6 (permalink)
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Why not send him to the Salvation Army for rehab?
Someday everything will all make sense.
For now, laugh at confusion, smile through tears,
& remind yourself that everything happens for a reason.

All Big Book quotes are from the first edition.
Linked with the permission of Alcoholics Anonymous World Services, Inc.
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Old 07-16-2012, 05:49 AM   #7 (permalink)
I looked like that holdin beer
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Be prepared for sheer chaos in your life. I hope the best, but I do not think this is a good idea. He will drive you crazy just like he is driving his parents crazy. Do not leave anything of value laying around, hide your car keys, and bank cards. Do not let him be there while you are not home. Realize that an addict will do ANYTHING to get drugs, I know because one of my best friends became an Oxy shooting addict.

Also, it is not like booze, it is hard for a non-addict to tell if someone is using opiates, so it is not like you can kick him out if he comes home high - you probably will not know. Just be careful, you are not equipped to deal with him, and the friendship your husband has with his friend could suffer because of this.

Here is a great post about what to expect from an addict, and it is very true:

http://www.soberrecovery.com/forums/...ddicts-do.html (What Addicts Do)

I love my friend so much and I also feel for this guy you are taking in, but I am with Sugarbear on this one. Send him to the Salvation Army rehab.
If I could start again
a million miles away
I would keep myself
I would find a way... (Trent)
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