zerothehero

Oh, it's still a thing. The problem is there are so many new designer drugs that people put on blotter and try to pass off as LSD. Last time I dosed at a Dead related event it hit my tongue and I knew immediately by the taste it wasn't acid. It was a gift so I thought it would be legit. I spit it out but it was too late and I got a very strange but mild buzz. I was either exhausted or it was the chemical. At any rate, I was nodding out during the second set. I only dosed once after that - from a reliable source. Been years now. I took that spaceship as far as it could (relatively) safely go. Old acidheads never die. They just get to the point where there's no point in dosing anymore cuz they be permatripped yo. All part of the adventure... What a long, strange trip it's been...

zerothehero

So, my supervisor says, "Are you willing to take on blah, blah, blah. I know it will be a lot more work."

I said, "Well, that's not exactly why I went to grad school, but if that's what I have to do."

Later, he asks, "You were kind of quiet in that meeting. Where are you with all this?"

Then I just said it: "I'm eligible for retirement in a couple of months, and I'm thinking it might be time..."

"How serious are you about retiring in the next year?"

"About 50/50."

"Oh." Long silence. "It's gonna be a tough year."

I couldn't tell if that meant "without me" or if he was encouraging me to resign.

And I lied. It's more like 90/10. That job turned me into a miserable alcoholic. Now that I've been sober a couple of years, I can't imagine continuing any longer than necessary. The pension is poverty level, but I've got skills and I'm not that old. I'm getting used to the idea of welcoming myself into a new life. I just gotta survive until July 1. It seems so sudden and yet such a long time coming.

Someday, I'll say I've been a long time gone.

jackrussell

Seems to me that you cannot make any wrong decision on this, Zero. Whichever choice you make, at whatever time, will be right. (short of, say, doing acid and then packing things in May 1, for example).

LBrain

I recall talking to an old coworker a couple weeks ago. My 'retirement' is also at the poverty level - and something I wasn't prepared for. Then when I told him I had no income for five months until my retirement kicked in I realized that I survived and learned how to live with less. My situation is not ideal, but it's a hell of lot better than many people are having to deal with.

Even though I am "poor", I have it pretty darn good.

Out of all of my experience in losing my job, the biggest thing was that I wanted to leave that place for a long time. I was just too scared to try to start over. The choice was made for me. After a few months I realized what a relief it was. Not having to force myself to go to work in that place every day was a freeing experience. All the money in the world could not buy peace of mind.
Too bad I didn't make the decision myself years ago...

jackrussell

Like-wise on the 'poor' front, Lb. But: there are worse things influencing quality of life, longevity, and generally feeling good about things. We all struggle with Challenges, Capital C. Work things should, in a more perfect world, take up much less space than they do. Should be a small w for 'work'. In the big picture. Small b and p.
All the best to all.

zerothehero

Thanks for the thoughts, guys. I'm so torn. I was ready to just resign and retire, and then I started doing my homework and learned about another option. The state has this deal where you can only work a certain number of days per year in a state job after retirement, but if you retire in the summer you can split a full time position between fall of one year and spring of the next, meaning I could retire, start pulling a pension, and work for another year earning my full salary on top of pension checks. It would be one year of really good pay, so I'm starting to lean toward sucking it up and cashing in. I've survived this long. Will another year kill me, especially if I could give a **** about my reviews? Hmmm... First world dilemma... One more year in the existential vacuum?

Dee74

I'm sure you'll make the best of wahtever you decide Zero

I'm poor too, but happy - ala the 4 Yorkshiremen

jackrussell

Thanks, Dee. Python always rocks. I wonder how this would play in the Trump drama today? Is there any humor in the States? Of course there is. But I suspect it's on a short leash.

LBrain

ah yes, I remember having to work 29 hours a day myself at one time...

zerothehero

Some humor (I think...maybe): https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=zWlUgI4cB4M

LBrain

it is sad that muricans in general are influenced by "news" programs that do nothing but lampoon the gubment, the elections etc. the daily show for instance was intended as a big guffaw, yet that guy became a mainstream news provider for very many... and it went way too far... and influential...

don't get me wrong - it deserves it (the system)...
what I find truly sad is that the elections and campaigns are based on issues that are minuscule compared to what really is important...

and the public in general has no idea what is going on in the real world, throw some current issue out there - or better yet, invent one and run with it...

and also, too many people vote on the basis - or assumption - of voting for the lesser of two evils... and that is truly sad...

but you gotta admit, the donald is putting money in the pockets of comedians everywhere... and the other one is filling my pockets with horror...

I like Lewis Black's idea, drop a monkey off in the middle of the country loaded with a dart, and the first person he hits is the new president...
look up lewis black for some comedy -

the bottom line is that it really doesn't matter who the POTUS is...
that's why the monkey with the dart is pure genius...

I'm glad I don't watch the news

zerothehero

"Constantly choosing the lesser of two evils is still choosing evil." -Jerry Garcia

LBrain

Amen to that.

I was planning to stand at the ticket booth to get tickets for the Washington Monument this coming Monday. The forecast is 30 degrees in the morning with about 4" of snow on the ground. I'm pretty sure there won't be a crowd at 7 AM, but I could be wrong. Good thing I convinced the missus that camping/hiking in Shenandoah National Park was not a good idea when she brought it up a month ago. She is still calibrated for where she grew up I think.
Had an "argument" with her yesterday that it is still winter here.
According to her, spring starts March 1st everywhere in the world north of the equator...

zerothehero

I have an exam in the morning and then heading to a mountain cabin for a few days of solo meditation. Lows in the 20's. Chance of snow. We've been known to get a foot or two in town in late March or early April. It snowed last May. Heck, I've been snowed on in June not far from here. Of course, we're talking mile high plus. Enjoy D.C. It's my favorite place to show my **** at the security cameras.

jackrussell

You're such a bad-ass, Zero!

zerothehero

God damn right. I just now clicked submit on my retirement application. Only question is whether I will retire soon or hang on for double pay for a year. Double pay in the existential vacuum. I think I can hang. I'm making my own meaning...

jackrussell

Our spring is early. Though next week, temps drop below norms. Last year at this time, we had snow cover. This year: grass a greening.
DC should be blossoming about now, Lb?
Never been to Washington. I remember, though, on the morning of 9/11, doing some painting work for a local woman whose husband, at that time, was working at the World Bank in DC. He called and left a message saying he was OK, not to worry, but was clearly upset. Wife was shopping all day and when she returned, I excitedly gave her the message from her husband. She nodded, stepped into the house, and proceeded to talk about all her great day's shopping deals.
What am I not seeing here, I thought. What's wrong with this picture?
Later, figured it out.

That's my only DC experience. Indirectly.

LBrain

it's weird, I vaguely remember my visit to DC, I was with my parents, the only thing I remember about the trip was the vietnam memorial finding my paperboy's name... very strange that I have no recollection of anything else...

enjoy your meditation zero, and I hope you come out of it with a good decision on your future.,.

it's supposed to go down to freezing around these parts for the next few days... then I suppose spring will show up later in the week...
all packed and ready to go, wife gets home at midnight - she still has to pack, sleep, coffee, out the door...

jackrussell

Still drinking. My karma. My route.
I am in the middle of a stunningly well-written collection of novels called the Neapolitan Novels by Elena Ferrante. I, my wife and my daughter (who lives a few hours away) are all into #3 of 4, and discuss the action, which makes for an interesting family dynamic. Naples. 50's to the present. I have to figure out a way of reading #3 (in the possession of my wife), who is a slower reader during the work week. What burdens we of the first world bear! What challenges! I am always bowled over by discovering a gifted writing mind. Hope all are well this Easter '16.

zerothehero

Happy Easter, y'all. JR, I'm impressed that you read like you do despite drinking. I never could drink and read. Rather, I would read and then drink. In sobriety it seems like I'm reading all the time, but mostly nonfiction and mostly about addiction. I read a novel not too long ago: The Magic Strings of Frankie Presto. Good read, especially for music lovers who know all the references about bands from the 60's and such. Anyhoo...