jackrussell

Well, I did step on an ant in the bathroom. I apologized. 'Sorry, Man'. Very 50's / 60's greeting word: Man. I use it apologetically when I kill an insect, or when I'm talking to my old cat. Some insects, for sure, that I see: on to the next world. Mosquitoes don't even get a 'Sorry, Man'.

zerothehero

Mosquitoes are born to die. I got swarmed last night after a gig. Very grateful they didn't emerge until immediately after our set. We got a standing ovation and then people started running and flailing. Then again, maybe it wasn't a standing ovation...

jackrussell

Good for the standing ovation! I guess that I really didn't think that mosquitoes existed in Colorado. Mosquitoes in mountains? Well. Geography and biology were not my strengths in university.

zerothehero

Seasonal and according to locale. Seems they are worse here ever since they started spraying for West Nile (and then quit spraying). Go figure.

jackrussell

Thunderstorm here now. Driving rain from 3 directions! Lightning like crazy. Cozy, though, in the cocoon. The farmer who rents our fields for hay said this year: way too much rain. Many crops will not be planted. Some hay cannot be harvested. Too wet. Last year, it was drought. Bigtime drought.

We had a national celebration this weekend. No bad guys did any bad things, so it all worked out. Fireworks, etc, contentious opinions on national identity. Grandkids visiting. 6 year old grandson so much into toy guns. guns guns guns. This is Canada! No gun culture here. But it must be a boy gene thing. His father found a very cool small wooden rifle at the thrift store. So simple, I figure that it could have been an 18th century kids toy. The trigger tensions a cam type of wooden thingee that releases a thin wooden piece that snaps against the barrel. Or something like that. And makes a small snapping sound. Which is enough to satisfy a kid's need to fire something. And a really gentle kid. I remember having a Davy Crockett coon skin hat, as a 6 year old. And a fake rifle. I guess it was like walking into a dream. Of what I would now characterize as a good guy empowerment dream. At the same time, the grandkids did save some baby birds from a fallen nest. I guess it's all about wonder at that age.

zerothehero

I went through the cowboy/Indian phase. I had toy guns and all, but I remember watching clips of the Vietnam war on TV (the kind of stuff they censor these days to keep us all from protesting the violence). My dad told me that one day when I was maybe seven years old I asked him about war, and after he explained it I told him I could never participate. When I turned 18 and decided to obtain letters to establish conscientious objection, my father surprisingly (we were almost entirely estranged at that time) agreed to supporting my case (though he never followed through with the letter - no surprise there). I registered for the draft in protest by filling out the card and adding a note about conscientious objection.

And for what it's worth, I also enjoyed insect torture and lighting fires for a while, but turned out to be a pacifist, so your grandson is likely fine.

jackrussell

So: what happened to you, military service / draft-wise?
I spent time with a guy who walked away from the US Air Force during the war in Viet Nam. Came to Canada in 71. In fact, in the mid 70's, we spent a winter on Maui, working setting up condos with furniture. He had fake ID. Ultimately, he returned to the States officially and was subject to an Attitudinal Redevelopment Program in Florida, I think.

zerothehero

I'm a bit younger. Had to register when I turned 18 but the draft was history at that point. The U.S. hasn't instituted a draft since the early 70's, I believe. I was in high school in the late 70's.

jackrussell

On the subject of insect torture: I'm told my 6 year old grandson, (daughter and kids are staying with us for a week) who loves to pull frogs and stuff from the small pond in front of the house, came to his mom today and cried as he confessed that he was squeezing a tadpole today and squished out its insides. He was devastated. He's always loved to handle wildlife. I've never held a frog. He was so sad that he killed this thing. I think his empathy will be a good force in his life. And he's a strong, intelligent kid too. Empathy rocks.
Glad you got over the insect torture, Zero. Do you have insight now into what was happening? I bet you do!

zerothehero

Oh, yeah. Lots of trauma around that time. Witnessed beatings, got beat, dad shoved me down the stairs, watched grandma bleed out... But I survived. That reminds me of my twisted neighbor. Your grandson would be horrified. The demented kid used to put cherry bombs in frogs' and fish's mouths and watch them blow... Kids can be so cruel and insensitive. Even I was appalled.

jackrussell

Have you heard of micro-dosing psychedelics, like LSD? I listened to a radio interview with a woman who'd just written a book about her experience with it. She was a lawyer in the US, severely depressed, suicidal, and heard about this. It made her life so much better. Her kids didn't know what she was doing, but were so grateful for the change. 400 mg seems to be the trip dosage. Micro is 10-20. It seems to just generally make your day better. No minor Satori stuff in micro. I've viewed LSD as a rocket into a space I don't want to ever return to. This seems different. Who knew? Personally, I find my days generally pretty good as they are. For which I'm grateful. (Just need to dump the booze).

zerothehero

I've heard it's a thing with some Silicon Valley types, as well. Never tried it. There must be people producing it and people trusting enough to believe it would be such a small amount. Back in the day the common wisdom was always be ready for anything because you never really knew how strong a hit would be. That would be my concern, though at this point I have no desire to try even a micro-dose. I ate some weak hits in my day (sometimes blotter would be soaked unevenly, and then the paper would be cut with various amounts on each square), and could see how people could be creative and productive on small amounts, but at his point what's the point?

jackrussell

Still around, Zero? No reports from the front from you for a while. Hope the transition from your toxic job has gone well. And that you are enjoying gigging, etc. ; and that moving into the new job has been a joy. All well here.

Dee74

hi Jack - good to hear from you
How are you doing?

D

jackrussell

Hi Dee. Not much earth shatteringly new in my world, though things continue to be good. I'm still in the thrall of the demon, but manage. Grandchildren are a joy. Grateful to be living in a peaceful and abundant part of the planet. And generally, I realized that I missed you guys. Australia is closing in on Spring, which must be exciting. September 1 is always somewhat of a bummer for us, since it represents the imminent departure of summer, which we love. Our summer has been exceptionally cool and wet. Which means our environment looks tropical, but I have missed that short, normally hot and muggy period that powers my spirit through the cool, cold and snowy other seasons. First world complaint. Hope all is well with you.

Dee74

All is good here Jack - it is coming into spring but there's not that much difference in the seasons where I am.

I really hope you'll leave 'the thrall of the demon' behind forever soon. Concentrate on those grandkids instead

D

jackrussell

Thanks, Dee. There's a kind of co-existence right now between my two selves. We are coasting ahead. Of course, the better option is to not coast but to thrive. And that involves a redistribution of energy and priorities. I observe all this stuff in my sleep. There are role plays. A bit of dramatic tension. Recurring scripts. Regret and worry are players. Then I wake up to a beautiful day and barge along. Or noodle along.
Your day must be pretty interesting. Observing. Offering what good insight that you can. Witnessing good, bad and indifferent outcomes. It's good work that you do. And you're lucky to live in an environment with minimal climatic change as the seasons roll along. I could dig that.

zerothehero

Hey kids. I sent a personal message to you (JR) about wanting to disappear for a while. Maybe you didn't notice? No biggie. Work is good. I've left the **** hole behind and I'm enjoying new challenges. I've always admired your positive attitude despite noodling along. I had to quit drinking in part because my attitude sucked big time.

Thanks for checking in, Dee. Despite minimizing my presence, I do check in every few days to see what's up... Hasta luego...

jackrussell

I didn't see that I had a message, Z. When I tried to respond to it earlier, my response wouldn't go, couldn't find you or something. I've been attempting to spend less time online. (not entirely successfully). But I have cut back. And for the last month or so, I was guided by the bold idea that if I didn't have anything worthwhile to say, ....then don't say it. Well, clearly, I've abandoned that silly idea. Anyway, the whole concept of 'worthwhile' seems way too Victorian.

zerothehero

I spend too much time sitting at work. I'm just not drawn to the computer or the forum these days. I've been trying to walk the dogs in the evening and getting out to play more music. It's a good thing, really. Gotta keep moving...