michaels_w

Wow,

You're right, Applekat. That one went right straight to my heart. My heavens. It's so true, though. These little ones of ours, they take it all in.

Oh, thank goodness that stuff is behind us. I've mentioned my girl's comment to me about this. Basically, she sees my new efforts. I'm purposely not repeating the comment again, to keep the tears from rolling again. (It's in one or two of my old posts).

Thanks for tuggin' at my heart Applekat. It's not a bad thing, though. It's better to feel everything, than to feel nothing at all.

peace,

michaels

rachelle77

That book indeed does tug at the heart strings. But I take it as a positive sign that there is a growing recognition an awareness that alcohol can be a major problem for some. And that it doesn't just affect the drinker, but of all those they are closest to. I grew up in a family where the adults, and then my childhood self, would have really benefited from such a book, I think. At least then the problem would have been talked about, not just hidden away and treated like it was something a child couldn't possibly be affected by or understand.

rachelle77

I don't have children, so I hope I didn't offend anyone! That was just my take on it.

It does make me think about my little sister and the impact my drinking has had on her... That makes me feel incredibly sad.

Applekat

I hope I didn't make anyone feel too bad with sharing the picture of the book. I was just wandering along looking for potty training books and came across that. Bam. Yeah, I almost teared up in the library. Now, my kids are little, and my behavior hadn't been cause for borrowing this book by any means. Yet. And that's the point - no matter where we're all at. This is progressive. Let's kick it now.

I didn't grow up around big drinkers. But I know my grandmother at least was. She died of cirrhosis. So I guess it's in my genes, if you will.

Sunday night. Day 11. Moving on to a sober Day 12 tomorrow. Back to the grind with the little ones, and doing everything solo. That's precisely why I made sure to pick up some cookies n cream ice cream.

We're missing a few people checking in.

Rachelle, Noolan, Michaels - have a restful night's sleep!! Not sure how, but I caught a really bad summer's cold. So hopefully Nyquil will serve a double purpose tonight - actually get some sleep, and kick some of the cold symptoms.

melki

Hi everyone!

Thanks for sharing the book, Applekat, and for the reminder that I never want my kids embarrassed or affected by my drinking. Strong motivator!

Day 25 here. Feeling a bit blah. Happy I'm not drinking but not happy about some other habits I've been picking up instead. First of all, I've been laying way too heavily into ice cream and sweets and my regular pants are fitting too snugly now. Ugh. Secondly, I've started smoking a couple cigarettes a day to "unwind". I can't seem to be happy with healthy alternatives and crave something "bad". I also find it difficult to be in constant state of alert. I haven't learned to relax well yet. I try but... There's definitely more work to be done.

Applekat, feel better and take good care of yourself. Stay strong! The last time my husband went out of town I binged every night (and some days, while letting kids watch too much TV). As much as I'd like to distance myself from that memory that was only two months ago.

Hereandnow2

Melki, my clothes are also getting too tight. I am visiting a relative with my husband and kids and they have a hotub, boy did I want a beer or glass of wine. I've always drank when in a hotub. I tried instead to focus on my higher power. I gazed at the stars and listened to the crickets and other sounds. I wish I didn't want to drink still and think about it so much but I guess it will just take time!

rachelle77

Hope you feel better soon, applekat! Summer colds are always the worst. Get rest when you can.

Melki-- I was still having intense sweet cravings when I was around day 25. I would eat anything and everything made of sugar! I tried to cut back on how much sugar I ate and tried to focus more on protein instead and tried to eat more fruit. I'm at day 49 and the cravings have definitely lessened for me. Until it's that time of the month and then nobody better come between me and my chocolate ice cream!!! I also had to start exercising more. I found even a 30 minute walk was helpful. I'm still struggling with food cravings and getting enough exercise, but I feel good that I'm moving in a more positive direction.

melki

Hereandnow2, my list of "I always used to drink when..." is ridiculously long. I hear it gets easier once you've gone through these things sober at least once. And every time we do, we get stronger for it.

rachelle77

Oh!!! And I HAVE to admit that I started smoking again. I was so bummed because I was at 7 weeks without having a cigarette, but the night of my 7 week anniversary I got super stressed and upset (I know, not a good reason) and bought a pack and smoked a cigarette. When I talked about that with a dear one, he told me to just keep focusing on the positives and move forward. He said "no matter what, even with your quiting drinking, focus on the positives and move forward!" Maybe that will be of some help to you.

rachelle77

Hereandnow, thank you for sharing that! Cravings are going to keep popping up their ugly heads, aren't they? Sounds like you're working on some tools to combat those cravings. Way to go!

michaels_w

Hi Applekat,

I was honestly, and fully cool with the picture. I really did actually like it. The book seems to have a meaningful message. I like what Rachelle said about it, and I totally agree.

As a child, I grew up in a fairly messed up situation. I think I would've cherished a book like that. I'm sure that it would've comforted me.

It gives the little ones, in those situations, something they rarely get.
I appreciated you sharing it.

Thank you,

michaels

FaithfulAndFree

Checking in here, day 8. It has not been easy, and I am not as active on here as I should be; but I do read daily so I am with you guys. I'm struggling with the fact that none of my fiends believe that I have a drinking problem. They think that I've just had several "bad night" or maybe over indulged a little. It's very hard when no one sees the need for you to stop, they just say I need to learn how to moderate. Regardless I know what I need to do it's just very hard and I don't want to have to rid myself of all of my friends.

JL2014

Hi all,
I'm an alcoholic from back in October when I first started to try to stop. Took me until June 12th to get stopped. Late bloomer, right? Anyway I've got a good group of posters, but I'm only at 39-40 days, in reality. Been a fight. Glad to meet yall

rachelle77

Welcome JL2014!

rachelle77

EJM824--Eight days is great! Keep moving forward! I read somewhere, probably on this site, that it doesn't matter how much you drink that goes into making you want to quit so much as it matters how YOU feel when you do drink. If you want to quit drinking then, that's all that really matters. I'm sorry to hear that your friends aren't as supportive as you would like, but maybe they are thinking they are helping you by trying not to make you feel bad about your drinking? Maybe they see you struggle with the not drinking that they don't really understand that it is the drinking itself is the bigger problem/struggle. While I'm not in your group of face to face friends, I do support your effort to not drink!

Luckily, my friends do support my not drinking. But not so luckily, they've seen my drinking take me to some pretty dark places. I'm happy that my friends support me, but not all of them have the same problematic relationship with alcohol that I have had, so I find it incredibly helpful to be around likeminded people who understand the struggle.

Applekat

Happy sober Monday, June-ers.

Long day with just kiddos. And the Nyquil I took last night apparently was 2 years expired so that did nothing. Picked up some more today - shocked when the cashier asked for ID. I was thinking to myself, no! I walked right by the beer, margaritas, daiquiris, everything else that was speaking to me.....(our groceries don't carry wine, which used to be annoying and now is a godsend)! Did I unconsciously put some in the cart?! LOL!!

Alright, hopefully an easy bedtime for the rugrats, then Monday night bad TV and hopefully some much needed SLEEP!!

Noolan

EMJ- I have many friends who don't feel I have a problem too. These are also my heaviest drinking friends, so their gauge is much different than what the average drinker may consume. I've come to realize, in my case, moderation is not possible. I've had countless times I said I'm only going to drink "x" amount, only going to drink on "x" days, or I am only going to drink beer or wine, no shots. Time and time again, I've failed. Moderation is not an option I was equipped with. Once I'm drinking, it's anyone's guess if it will be one or 20. Unfortunately, alcohol makes me lose touch with the person who is typing this now. So after many trial and errors, I'm doing my best to remember the mistakes of the past and stick to this no alcohol thing.

JL2014- Welcome! I'm a former Marcher and April Fooler, who also got sober in June, and joined the class in July. So, if they took me in, I'm pretty sure they'll take anyone.

Day 38.

Today was a breeze. Easy day at work and my nicotine cravings were non existent. Yesterday, though I was having random flashes of irritability and intense conflicts with my AV. I did have a nice day bowling with all the cousins on my mom's side, but on the car ride home, I had another episode of real questioning of my sobriety. I've notice it's at time of withdrawal that my AV speaks the loudest and carries the most weight. Luckly, I just calmed down and powered through it. If I can get through PAWS from benzos and alcohol, nicotine isn't gonna break me. Proud to say it didn't and I'm still here. My last break lasted till about day 39, so I'm happy this week will mark the longest I've been sober since 18 and Friday is 6 weeks

Noolan

Doxylamine succinate is the active ingredient in NyQuil and can be purchased much cheaper on amazon.

Also, I like this product much better, but I was unlucky because nyquil never worked for me.

Robot Check

Hereandnow2

Emj that has also been the biggest struggle for me. I really don't have a single person in my life who thinks I have a drinking problem. This is because I don't drink that much (a bottle of wine throughout a night- 3 times a week or so) but I obsess about my drinking, how much, when, the time. Then I would drink on an empty stomach, take a little xanex.... Most of this was not noticed to others. Now at 49 days it's easier because I like feeling better, less anxious, no hangover, obsessions gone, no guilt. This is what I tell my friends. I really just don't think drinking is good for me.

Applekat

I have a similar sleep aid called Tranquil Sleep!

I take a NyQuil or similar med maybe 3 times a year, hence the expired package. I just need some serious relief, and some sleep!!!

I agree, my friends would be surprised if I told them I thought I was an addict. It really is the mental part of it that concerned me, like you Hereandnow. Head games!