Dee74

I pretty much wasted 20 years Ginza...but I've done a lot with the five I've been sober...I think that's the period to focus on

D

unentschieden

Dee: hope you're better soon

Glad to hear everyone is hanging in there. Stay strong and true to yourself, Karen.

Tonight I was thinking about the words I threw out here yesterday "getting my life back.". I dont think i truly know what that means yet. It feels like an adventure; What will I find?

karilynn27

I'm kinda with you on that unen, it does feel like an adventure.

Drala

Ellen - yeah!!!!!!! I've been thinking of you and wondering how you've been doing on your trip. Really happy to hear it.

unentschieden

Today was the first happily productive day I've put into my job in a long time....months and months and months.

I had one quick imagining flash of what it will feel like when being always sober is no longer remarkable. Only a quick glimpse before I was back to reality but it was nice to see that that place actually exists.

Like when after quitting smoking I first thought about a cigarette and my reaction was "eww gross, never.". That took about five years...

Charon

First snow that I have to clear thiis season fell overnight. I'll head out soon and fire up the snowblower. I'll probably skip the gym today and go to the mid-day meeting. Got to pick my sister up at the train station late afternoon. Dad's having the battery for his pacemaker replaced tomorrow. Had him to Dr's appointments for the last two days. It's a minor surgery but there is always risk - expecially for someone who is 90. More later.

Ginza

That's always a drag clearing snow from the porch, car, driveway... Good luck with that and your dad.

I survived yesterday but only by just. It was like I was on auto pilot - an auto pilot towards a crash landing. Thankfully I managed to stay on course.

Zencat

Still hanging in there ODAAT. Its been a manageable mood day, so that nice as my mood can dip down pretty low from time to time.

Keep on keeping on everybody.

stigblack

Day 39. First day back at work today, 10 hours on a construction site. Body says NO! Mind kept having the 'end of day beer' thoughts. Will be reprogramming that quick smart!

Charon, hope your dad recovers quickly. Thoughts are with you and him.

Zencat, keep up the good work there!

Ginza...did you mention you ride a bike? Check out tag-o-mania, have fun being sober! (link in my sig...)

Stay strong fellows, I want to be contributing to this thread with y'all for years to come!

karilynn27

Day 15. Kinda shocked I haven't messed up and had a drink but I haven't so I'll concentrate on getting through this day without drinking. Life is crazy busy for me. moving my gma to assisted living today.
Charon, I'll keep your dad in my prayers . My gma is 90.
Stig, hope your first day went well and Zen keep hanging. I'll feel like that cat from the poster I had in the 70s that's barely hanging on.

Stuart12

I'm just eating on with life per se.

Overall, been good, had a couple of glasses of gin, but nothing bad . Been drinking lots of water and lemon/ginger tea. Been working at Cancer Research UK today, as volunteer, I enjoy the company and all the staff are fun,not as much as some as our customers..

Sticking to the tea this evening i hope, always knew this would be the most difficult thing about giving up. It's not the giving up that was difficult it has been resisting the bottle since. Getting there, slowly.. All gin now out of house. Only tea and diet lemonade.

I've had a few v good weeks and a poor few days but now feel eager, YES, to push ahead on a sober route.

Hope this does not debar me from the Dec011 group. Ginger tea anyone?....

Slipped, but one good foot still on the path.........

Holiday to Cape Verde islands booked and Southern India for Oct. Despite
Cape Verde being all inclusive I'm determined to demonstrate to good wife that I can be nice and sober and alcohol free for a couple of weeks, might do our sex life some good as well. Not much else but sun and sand, and sun, and kindle's and a bit of Se@ for three weeks!!!

Going to be v good from now on,

l

Stuart

Ellen36

Hi, all! Back from vacation----barely. Very rough weather yesterday and the flight was scary but we made it. Loved the warm weather where we were---swam outside and hiked in the mountains. Realized how out of shape I've become since drinking so much. Whew! Was easier to avoid alcohol when so much to do outside. Now am back in the cold---6 degrees F below zero wind chills. Sooooo now I want to drink more than ever. It's been 15 days for me. I don't want to ruin the run, but having a drink or few sounds really good for this evening.

Glad to be home, though. Some stress visiting family....always good to get back to our own house and expectations. Thankfully they aren't drinkers so didn't have it around. Now I need to go to the store to get food for here now that we are back. I am thinking of the alcohol aisle now. Need to read some reminders and get fortified before going out. Need to remember the bad stuff, too. My stupid AV is calling....just have a little it will feel so good. I know it won't work that way, though.

Thanks for thinking of me, Drala. Glad to see you still here. Stig---wow you are doing really great. Ginza, too. I know it is hard to stay strong when problems come. Alcohol has been our coping mechanism to handle everything for a long time.

Love having all of you and this site!

Drala

Feeling very lonely today. I'm grateful for Pema Chodron's voice in my head telling me to experience this loneliness as a means of awakening instead of listening to my AV telling me to drink and cover it up. The AV is present but I'm just letting it be and not acting on it or suppressing it. First time since 12/17 it's been this strong, but I know it will pass.

It's helpful to express this, thanks for listening.

Music man

Somewhere between 5-6 weeks now. I have to say I'm doin pretty good.

A couple of stressful days had me thinking about it , but I'm still sober.

Completely sober no meds no anything.

Hawaiian Punch has become my fav.

Dee74

good to see so many people hanging in there

have a great weekend everyone

D

unentschieden

Drala: I misread your sentence (and maybe you should too) as "I haven't been this strong since Dec17.

I really want to order the AVRT book recommended by Terminally Unique but I keep forgetting. I will do it tonight! Along with the scratching post topper I've wanted to order for over a year. Procrastination is my worst trait.

Ever since I was young cold weather never bothered me because I would separate myself from the negative feeling and observe the sensation as neither positive nor negative.

Perhaps this is why AVRT works for me? I want to read more.

Have a good weekend guys! Don't give in to the AV.

Drala

Unentschieden, thank you for helping me flip my view. I've been bumming today for some reason. That was really helpful.

karilynn27

Stuart, pretty sure this is a place you don't get kicked out of and it looks like your hangin baby hangin. Day 15. third sober friday in a row, before that I have no idea.

Zencat

For those interested in getting the RR book about the RR program. Here's a peek inside until your book is ordered and arrives: Rational Recovery: The New Cure for Substance Addiction. By Jack Trimpey. (Google book preview including the Addiction Voice Recognition Technique or the AVRT)

Also these sites has some good recovery tools and articles:

Cognitive Behavioral Therapy Recovery Tools Recovery Resources from cbtrecovery.com

SMART Tools and SMART Articles

Of course not! I've had more lapses in my addiction treatment that I care to tell. But now I understand its important to share the good with the not so good in my treatment efforts. Sharing my recovery story with others may give hope to others that are afraid to post and participate because they are struggling too. Thanks for sharing your recovery Stuart.

Don't quit a practice of recovery skill building no matter what.

I'm still chugging along the sober/clean express way. Going to an AA meeting this morning with my BFF. As a implicit atheist, I get an opportunity today to practice 'take whats useful and leave the rest' philosophy .

Ellen36

Drank last night--bleh. I realized something. Drinking is not that great. Ha. I am having a major hangover today. Guess my body had detoxed and can't handle the alcohol it used to. That might be a good thing. I looked at drinking as this wonderful oasis that would feel amazing and let me experience something I've missed. Turns out I wasn't missing anything. In fact, I've ruined a perfectly good day off by sleeping and feeling sick.

Back to being a sober person. I fell down on my plan over my vacation and was eager to get home and drink. I wasn't doing the actions I know I need to do to stay sober. I can't let a day go by without working at being fortified. I won't view this as a failure. I am still committed to this.

I've been down this road before. often, when I drank after some sober days I would go right back into the drinking pattern. I had enough sober time lately that I felt the benefits of not drinking. I want to have a clear mind. I will not let this turn into another drinking run.

hang in there, Drala. Sorry you are struggling. Glad to see you haven't caved into drinking, though. you give me hope!