Dee74

continues from here:

http://www.soberrecovery.com/forums/...rt-3-a-20.html

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Rusty Zipper

thanks dee

Dee74

no worries Rusty
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Itchy

I have been very sick with a sinus infection that finally got diagnosed and treated with a Z pack and some follow on drugs. But of course I leave for a few days and y'all move to another part of the thread, but I found y'all!

Here is my tired-but-will-try catch up post -
Least good to see you posting (once,) hope all worked out.

Manz! Whatta Gal! Hope you got some romance for your "hearts day." Belated hugs and flowers from the old man here. So glad you got the home place all sorted out and sped up then slowed down then sped up and then went to the beach and . . . whew I am outta breath too!

LF I am tickled for your Summer/Sunshine, both are full of pep it appears, and the paintings you posted are great. I hope you feel better too, as I was really sacked by my sinus episode. But then I am such a wimp when I am sick. (Like most guys)

R&A I am not a millionaire and don't have to work and can go to the park every day, fishing, whatever and want to go back to work. I think the key is having the kiddo to share it with.

Newby I agree with R&A about society being stone cold when all we need is a little warmth. Of course when you have all the warmth you need everybody offers more. Maybe if you gave yourself a little spark of warmth and love first, and stop beating yourself too, you might catch that break you want.

Welcome St Pete Grad and Seahorse! I usually bake a cake but I was gone for a bit, so here is one to share, belated but Horsy had more than a year when she came in so was belated anyway.

Dee74

Glad you're on the mend Itchy - good to see you

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ReadyAndAble

True enough; I thank my lucky stars for that girl. Sorry you've been sick, Itchy; glad you're on the downhill slope now.

Thanks for the new thread, Dee. I'll try not to get it dirty.

newby1961

Thanks for your service Dee as this site has become an important part of my day.

Itchy great to have ya back. Ouch a sinus infection that can't be any fun. As far as the beating myself up trust me I am nowhere as bad as I was when I 1st came into the program almost 8 years ago. I am so much more comfortable in my own skin sometimes I have to pinch myself to see if its real:rotfxko

Night Night & sweet dreams all

Manz

Itchy great to see you are doing better, and huge hugs for the infection....I have been there and it darn well SUCKS!!!!!

Newbs.....I agree with the guys, society can be very cruel. Whatever happened to second chances and new beginnings. I met a couple of guys at one of the classes i facilitate in recovery who have very recently come out of prison, have some serious "records", but I will tell you....the insight and gifts they have to share were powerful. We ALL deserve the chance to change and be who we were meantt to be....and I know that is possible. I am sure Nwebs that you break will come.

I am busy spreading the word and was so inspired this week by one of our guests at work who mentioned that something small I had said helped inspire her to continue and come back to another class. I am happy she is helping herself and that I could be a small part of it.

Ok...... off to kid-sit for a friend

Take care guys

Rusty Zipper

itch, hope the schnots clear up soon

it's not becoming of a gentleman of your character!

LotusBlossom

Feel better Itchy!

In regards to a post someone made before, my eyes are off from each other, not the same script, so I couldn't just go down to wally-world and get some OTC glasses, of course. I did, however get a pair to hold me over until then...just to see if they helped with my headaches behind my eyes....w-o-w. What a difference. If this keeps up...I may try and go off my topamax and propanolol (2 migraine meds) in a month or two. I have had no headaches/migraines behind my eyes whatsoever. Of course, getting used to glasses is another thing entirely...heh.

Hope everyone has a happy...*looks at office phone* TUESDAY! Haha. Coffee hasn't kicked in yet. <_<.

Oh...I did have some sad news today. A lovely woman in her 30s on another alcoholics board I am on who has been trying and falling off the wagon for so long (I can't even count how many day 1s she's has...but she's been so inspirational because SHE KEEPS TRYING) really has gotten herself into bad straights....she's been off work suffering some pretty severe depression was in an institution for a weekend recently... couple of nights ago decided that enough was enough and she was sick of struggling and tried to take her life. She posted up on the board as one of her "final" things too and then texted her sponsor immediately after as her last goodbye. Thank god her sponsor got ahold of 911 immediately before it was too late and she's getting the help she needs now. I know you can only be responsible for you own sobreity but it still is very saddening...to see her struggle so much and be in so much pain. I so wish there was something I could do to take more of it away from her. Because I know exactly where she is...I just never had the "courage" (some would read that cowardice...or illness...whatever word you interject there) to follow through with it. My heart is positively broken for her and sitting heavy today. The above cheerfulness was me trying to get me into a happier state and...not really working. Had to come clean and share.

ReadyAndAble

I am sorry, Lotus. Addiction is a deep, dark pit, isn't it? If I had kept drinking, not sure which would have succumbed first, my body or my spirit. I hope she is able to finally find a way back to the life she deserves.

PS: That's good about your eyes. I bet the official glasses will help even more when you get them. I couldn't go a day without mine.

Manz

Lotus, sorry to hear about your friend. I can relate as I went down the exact same road and luckily the emergency services were called for me too. It took more than a couple of these dark dark times to get through to me(and others) that i really needed help. I dearly hope your friend gets the help she needs.
And as for the glasses(so glad headaches have gone btw)..... a little trick, you could maybe get a couple pairs of the cheapie glasses is it is a simple script in each eye and use one lense from each? Gee, I should not be handing out these tips, but I have deserted that money grubbing industry that I used to be in. Oy vey....don't get me started.

Ok off to the probation offices to run a class.....hope to be inspired that recovery is possible!

Itch....hows the schnoz?

Have a great day everyone

Dee74

I tried that Manz - but with one eye short sighted and one long sighted, I'm screwed

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ToxicTonic

Wow, Itchy, thanks so much for the cake! I did not get one on my one year anniversary...but at least i got my one year medallion. the guy who was supposed to bring the cake got drunk instead... just hope he makes it back..and my best friend had 21 years and got a cake but we forgot her chip...lol...we are such a dysfunctional home group..but we have a lot of laughs and are a close knit group...

Speaking of glasses...I am such a sucker when it comes to salespeople sometimes...I have severe astigmatism, so if I didn't get the featherweight option, my glasses would have weighed a ton, then I had to get non-glare, cuz on the computer so much, and progressives, cuz the lines make me dizzy, and they are tri-focals...and of course he led me straight over to the "Coach" section of frames...and I thought he was cute so (even tho i'm married)...so my glasses ended up costing me 400 dollars!

But...I am grateful I could afford that, (just barely) and that I had eyesight still and in 7 - 10 days will have a nice pair of glasses that will last me for another year until I get blinder again..

ToxicTonic

Manz...now that is a good tip..I just backtracked and read that after I posted...I just may do that next year!

Manz

Hah! Seahorse and Dee unfortunately my cunning plan would help neither of you, ready readers can not correct astigmatism of any degree nor shortsighted ness(which is what I have!). the cost of glasses is soo high to the consumer and to the retailer soooooooo cheap.......but hey, everyone has to make a living.

Gosh I am having a real crisis of self confidence these days, being in a new role has send me reeling. Also sitting on a steering group for the first time is stretching me.......and I feel quite lost. It is strange after being the "expert' or "go to person" in my previous occupation to being at the bottom of the rung and also the beginning of of the knowledge ladder...............I am sure it will all pan out, but I find myself quite emotional at the end of the day.

Hope our sick buddies here are feeling better, LF & Itchy............I can't wait to put the Weeman to bed shortly and just flop on the sofa and be a couch potatoe(or sofa spud haha). Feel in the need of a long and warm hug from someone special, crap i hate distance!

Take care all.

Rusty Zipper

Mr Magoo is ready for some real glasses,

it's on my Da-Do List

do they make 500 Cheaters? lol

newby1961

Hey gang,

Lotus I know where you are at I have a friend who is going through the same exact thing. When you wrote about how you know we can only be responsible for our own recovery that is true but IMHO we can also guide others to. And it is gonna hurt when someone we care about falls to the way side and I don't ever want to get so wrapped up in my own recovery that I can't be there for others.
I know before I came in the program I used to pray every night for God to take me in my sleep. I was way to chicken to off my self. I worked in the past with head trauma patients and I was always afraid if I messed it up I would end up worse off than I already was. Thank God it has been awhile since I felt that way.
Night Night & sweet dreams all

Kablume

Lotus, I pray your friend finds her way. I too have been down that path and by the grace of God, I have not been suicidal in almost 2 1/2 years. What a lonely and frightening place to be.

Itchy, good to see you back. I hope you and LF are feeling better.

I can relate with the eyes dilemma. I have worn glasses since I was about 8 or 9. I now have astigmatism and I have bad vision so without all the gee gaws I would have coke bottle glasses. So I wear contacts some of the time. But without insurance, I would be sunk. They have you by the fine hairs, that's for sure.

I am enjoying the nice weather here in Ga. Supposed to be 80 today.

Hope all have a great Thursday today...

LotusBlossom

All I know currently is that she's in a home somewhere currently. I will take that for now because I know she is alive and breathing. Though, philosophically you have to wonder sometimes at what point does one cross that line of "At least they aren't suffering anymore." What gives us the right to say that when someone has passed on (by their own hand or not) but by the same token inappropriate when it's obvious that they are in SO MUCH turmoil and beyond a trainwreck alive? It gives me pause. Not that I am saying I wish there was any other outcome. I don't wish that on ANYONE. My own mother tried to commit suicide and I called her after she had taken her 3 bottles of pills, all drugged, knowing something was wrong, etc. at age 13. My mother is in better emotional health now than then, but she is still an alcoholic and is addicted to narcotics.

I go back to my original question though: who are we to decide or judge? That is not our job, thank God.

Sorry for the Deep Thoughts by Alexis M. today. (Saturday Night Live reference there...heh). Just lots of stuff on this little brain today. And I don't necessarily want to share it on the other board I am on because my dear friend is still checking it from her phone occasionally according to her family members.

My expensive pair of glasses was too strong for at home since I keep my monitor 3 1/2 feet away from my desk and everything was just blurry. So, I got a weaker pair for at home and am using my expensive pair at work and while I'm reading. I've only had one slight headache that lasted all of 20 minutes. Not my normal ice pick whacking away at the backs of my eye and eye sockets. Quite frankly...if it does keep up....I would have paid double what I did. I don't know why I am so bullheaded because I was asked by several people "have you had your eyes checked for your headaches?" and my standard response was "my eyesight is fine, it's not that." Oi.

Wasn't feeling too hot last night. I had my heat turned on 80!!!! (I normally keep it on 67) and I had a blanket on me and I was still chilled to the bone complete with gooseskin. Then I started to get waaaay achey. So I went to bed at 7:30pm and didn't wake up until 7am. Felt a little better but my throat is raw. Physical therapy today too. Yay. Short day at work. Bleh.

Manz...the feeling is completely normal. When we are out of our comfort zone...

newby I agree completely. I am not saying stay in your shell but at the same time, when someone fails and fails and fails and fails and fails...you can't get in the mindset of "What did I do wrong to fail them?!". That's co-dependency behavior and trying to fix people, etc. You should try and help them as best you can but in the end it is their choice and you can't be responsible for their sobriety. That's all I'm saying.


Hope everyone has a happy Thursday. .