Step 1

[Doug]

1. We admitted that we were powerless over our addiction, that our lives had become unmanageable.

[Doug]

When we admit our powerlessness and the inability to manage our own lives, we open the door to recovery. No one could convince us that we were addicts. It is an admission that we had to make for ourselves. When some of us have doubts, we ask ourselves this question: "Can I control my use of any form of mind or mood-altering chemicals?"

Most will see that control is impossible the moment it is suggested. Whatever the outcome, we find that we cannot control our using for any length of time.

This would clearly suggest that an addict has no control over drugs. Powerlessness means using against our will. If we can't stop, how can we tell ourselves we are in control? The inability to stop using, even with the greatest willpower and the most sincere desire, is what we mean when we say, "We have absolutely no choice".


- Narcotics Anonymous Basic Text, Chapter 4/Step 1

[Doug]

The central task of Step 1 is to recognize that our lives are beyond our control, and we cannot continue our superhuman efforts at patching up the many mistakes we make. We recognize that it is time to move from a crisis mode to a prevention mode.

Here are some familiar patterns:

* Alcoholics or drug abusers find that no one will believe their promises anymore.
* Overeaters recognize that all diets have ultimately failed and that they are now facing life-threatening illness.
* Co-dependents find they are too ill or exhausted to go on doing everyone's work and that others have become more and more resistant to the co-dependent's efforts to control them.
* Workaholics find deadlines passing by unmet, forget to write down appointments, or fall ill with no "contingency plan".
* ACOAs become so overwhelmed by their standards and commitments that they cannot get out of bed to act on anything.


- The Twelve Step Journal, p. 39

[SaTiT]

my sponsor told this is not an action step.
it's a recognition step..but a very powerful step..
Denial is cunning, baffling, and power becuase the human
mind is cunning, baffling and powerful.

He simply ask me to make a desperation list. Yes with the drugs
use of course..but he said everything, all of the jammed i got myself
into..into the piont of desperations...unmanageabilities.
Kind of wierd at first of course..becuase i thought it was
just about not using.

He use to say...."and then" to me all the time.

I was getting an impression..he was saying to me.
"Okay you addmited..so freaknen what....what the hell are you
going to do about it ??"

But he also kept me on this step for a while.. Maybe becuase
I was still in funk in my first 6 months of recovery and was
going to complicate everything.

Plus he was trying to teach me sometime.
I think is was somewhere along the line of ..no more instant gradifications.
and i wasn't going to us the 12 steps as just that..another one of my fox hole prayers BS.
Always saying "you have to build a foundation"...easy dose it.

Totally backwards of how i wanted to do things..becuase by the time
i got to him..I relasped a couple of times already..and was gong ho about
wanting to get the 12steps over with.lol
He told me I could work on the steps if I wanted without him..but if i choose
him as a sponsor..that's how it was going to be done...becuase that's how his
sponsor taught him.

This sentence...
" we did not have to think twice, many of us knew already we 're
addicts"

Kind of makesence to me what my sponsor was trying to get me
to understand/absorb/comprehend...."and then".lol

I think the desperation list I had to make and carry it in my
wallet was getting me into preventive mode.

[hairgirl]

There are some vital questions in my working on this step, I will post them as a help guide to anyone working on it.
1. What does the disease of Addiction mean to me?
2.Has my disease been active recently? How?
3.What is it like when I am obsessed with something?Does my thinking follow a pattern?Describe
4.How does the self centered part of my disease affect my life and the lives of those around me?
5.How have I blamed others for my behavior?
6.Do I feel I have enough info. on addiction and recovery to get my behavior under control before it gets out of hand?
7.What crisis brought me to recovery?
8.When did I first recognize my addiction as a problem?Did I try to correct it?If so, how? If not, why?
9. Over what exactly, am I powerless?
10.How has my addiction caused me to hurt myself and others?
11.What does being unmanageable mean to me?
12.Did I take drugs or act out on my addictionto change or harbor my feelings?What was I trying to change or hide?
13.Have I accepted the full measure of my disease?
14.Do I think I can still associate with people connected with my addiction?
15.Can I begin my recovery without complete surrender?
16.In what ways am I practicing open mindedness?
17.Am I willing to follow my sponsors direction?
18. Do I have a sense of my relative importance within my circle of family and friends? In society? What is that sense?
19. Have I made peace with the fact that I am a addict?
20. Have I made peace with the things I will have to do to stay clean?
21. How is acceptance of my disease necessary for my recovery?
22.How do I know it is time to move on?
23.What is my understanding of Step One?

These Questions are taken from the Step Working Guide of NA.These are a great tool in working this step, but make sure you also work with your sponsor too.

[Gmoney]

When I first came to NA and got involved with a sponsor, my primary concern was learning how to stay clean. I’m willing to bet I wasn’t alone in that regard. But, it was around the time I got my 1st Step assignment that I found out that drugs were just a symptom of my disease and that the admissions of powerlessness and unmanageability applied to so many other aspects of my life. Not only was I powerless and unmanageable when it came to drugs, I was the same regarding almost everything else.

The First Step, in the Basic Text, tells us pretty plainly, “We are powerless not only over drugs, but over our addiction as well.” And if we were to take a look at our 1st Step in How It Works, we’ll find, “…when we first come into the program, our drug addiction is how we identify with each other and the program. As we continue in our recovery, we will see how these aspects of our addiction (obsession, compulsion and self-centeredness) can manifest themselves in many areas of our lives.”

Powerlessness does not mean hopelessness, helplessness, or incapability. It simply means that I have limitations, boundaries and restrictions that I must try to stay aware of. Just because my life has gotten better as a result of abstinence from drug use (and certain other behaviors), does not mean I can assume total control of anything.

It is the denial of those limitations, boundaries and restrictions that bring about unmanageability and consequences in my life. If I can’t control my addiction, how can I control my life? Remember that question from Step One? It’s amazing how many of us forget that one. The reality is that there are many powers much greater than myself that directly influence and “control” aspects of my life that I can’t begin to understand. This awareness is humbling.

Although I have the ability to make better choices and decisions today because of staying clean and doing the work set forth in the Steps of NA (“powered-up“, if you will), I don’t fool myself into thinking that I’ve reached a point of being “powerful” or no longer suffering from the disease of addiction. Although it was desperation and drug addiction that brought me to the rooms of NA, it was the honest admission (and acceptance) of being an addict that lead to my initial surrender. The paradox of “surrendering to win” still applies to me, even with years of clean time. I’m still recovering from the disease of addiction, I’m still in need of help because I can’t do it alone, and I’m still powerless.

[Paulie]

Although I have the ability to make better choices and decisions today because of staying clean and doing the work set forth in the Steps of NA (“powered-up“, if you will), I don’t fool myself into thinking that I’ve reached a point of being “powerful” or no longer suffering from the disease of addiction. Although it was desperation and drug addiction that brought me to the rooms of NA, it was the honest admission (and acceptance) of being an addict that lead to my initial surrender. The paradox of “surrendering to win” still applies to me, even with years of clean time. I’m still recovering from the disease of addiction, I’m still in need of help because I can’t do it alone, and I’m still powerless.

Very well said

[salvationapril]

Thank you.

I received your message on the wings of HP telling me HE Loves me
HE Loves me
HE Loves me

[salvationapril]

Garry-

I received your message like GODS breathe.

[luvslife81]

I was addicted to methadone for 2 1/2 years and I quit cold turkey. My sobriety date is Sept. 18, 2007. I thought I had really bad back problems and I was on pain medicine anyway but I had some tests done and found out that there wasn't anything wrong after all. So I quit my pain meds cold turkey and my sobriety date from them is Nov 3, 2007. I told my husband that I wasn't going through the withdrawals again. So I started doing shots of tequila to take the edge off. During this time I cheated on my husband. Something I would have never done if I didn't get involved with drugs. I wish I could turn back time and fix it but I know everything happens for a reason. Now I'm on suboxone and he keeps them for me because if they're in my possession I abuse them. The other day I got his keys and got 6 of them out and didn't ask or tell him about it right then. I told him about 2 days later but the point is that I did tell him. He got really mad at me and said that if just one came up missing then him and my son were going to stay somewhere else for a while. He said that he doesn't see a change in my behavior. That's the only slip up that I've had. I haven't relapsed or anything. I'm so glad that I found this site because I'm not much for talking on the phone. How do you get your loved one to trust you again? Now since I cheated on him, he's wanting revenge on me. He's trying to find someone on the internet that wants to have a fling. Part of me feels like I owe it to him because of all the hurt that I've caused him but then another part of me wonders how he could hurt this family more than I already have. What should I do? I'm just all confused.
I was the type that I didn't want to ask anyone for help but when I tried to come off methadone by myself (before he found out I was taking it) and couldn't do it; I knew I had a problem but wasn't sure how to ask for help. I prayed to God to get me off of it and he let my husband catch me again. I went to an outpatient rehab and completed it. I've gotten to where I can ask for help it I need it and I know that I was poweless over my addiction. But now some days are better than others. I hope everyone has a great week and thanks for listening.

[Gmoney]

Hi Luvslife81, welcome.

I'm sorry to hear about the struggle you're going through. The disease of addiction is a beast that wrecks havoc in so many areas of our lives. Thankfully, the NA program (the 12 steps) can offer a solution. It all starts with getting clean, going to meetings, getting a sponsor and working the steps.

In all that you shared, I didn't hear you mention whether you've attended any meetings. Getting honest and attending meetings is a good place to start. I'm curious... you say you quit using methadone cold turkey, then you quit taking pain meds cold turkey, but then you say you drank alcohol.... and you mention a couple of "sobriety" dates - but if you are still using ANYTHING, you're really not clean. So, are you clean right now?The drinking, cheating and sneaking pills are all behaviors related to active addiction.

And since this is a 12 step study forum, I can see how the aspect of unmanageability thats talked about in the 1st step applies to your life at this time. Please don't get angry, but for me, there's no such thing as a slip. Using is never by accident. And a relapse cannot occur if there hasn't been a period of complete abstinence and recovery.

In NA, recovery begins with complete surrender and acceptance of the 1st step. Do yourself a favor and go to a meeting.

Be blessed and keep coming back.
GarryW.